


Orochimama

by WhoaMama



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Genderbending, Humor, Politics, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:33:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 53,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27458050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhoaMama/pseuds/WhoaMama
Summary: Alternate Title: The Snake Goes Ara AraBy cruel trick of the fates, intervention of stupid gods, or just the apathy of an uncaring universe I find myself woken up as Orochimaru just after he had possessed a woman for his new host. Now I need to find a way to turn this hoard of sycophants and psychos into something that will not only keep me from an early grave, but also how to change it to a force of change in this messed up world.
Comments: 321
Kudos: 641
Collections: A Collection of Beloved Inserts, Absolute Favorites, The Best of SI  Oc Fics, wwwwwww





	1. Chapter 1

Orochimama (Chapter 1)

"Orochimaru-sama. The process is complete."

That was the first words I heard coming to this world.

Moments before that I was having an experience I would liken to an acid trip through a haunted mansion decorated by H R Giger, which culminated in me eating a snake that was in the middle of eating a woman. In the process I somehow ate the woman as well.

Really messed up nightmare fuel stuff.

Now I made the assumption I was not insane, which any insane person will tell you is always a good idea, so I came to the very reasonable conclusion that I am somehow now Orochimaru. Not just that, I was him right as he had just completed his first time taking over a body after an unsuccessful attempt at possessing Itachi. I know this only because I have memory of doing these things myself, as if I was Orochimaru.

Was I making sense? Probably not. Either way, I had an entire life's worth of memories of study, training, practice, and interactions with people I have never known. Plus a whole lot of killing, bloodshed and torture. Lovely.

Though it was all that training as a magic soldier wizard that was also a scientist spy that allowed me to keep my face carefully blank as I replied to the minion that was in the room with me.

"Thank you, Hibiki-kun, you are excused." I said glancing at the man groveling before me before he finally left the room.

"Orochimaru-sama, before I go, as I'm sure you've noticed, your body is a bit different now than it was before you went to posses the subject. Would you like for me get-"  
"That is not necessary. I will do my own examination." I responded.

"By your leave then." He said before backing out the door, head still bowed.

The man was clearly terrified of Orochimaru. Of me.

As the door clicked shut and I sensed the man walking away (and wasn't that wild. I could sense people now!) I ran a hand down my face and let out a groan. Of all worlds to possibly go to, this was very low on my list. The fact that the fates, the gods, or whatever the hell got me here decided that I should be shoved into the second biggest asshole in the setting wasn't great.

At least it wasn't the biggest asshole in the setting. "Guess Danzo is good for something." I mutter under my breath.

I turned to take stock of my new body. There was already a mirror set up in the room because, no joke, Orochimaru wanted to check his hair after the possession. Which made sense. No one had such long straight hair without it being something of a priority in their life. The same hair I had now, which was a bit different for me. My hair had always been wavy and would take hours with a flat iron to get anything like what my reflection showed. My skin was pale white, like albino white, and was decorated with purple lines just under my eyes. But many other things were still familiar to the old me. Same nose. Same ears. Same mole on the back of my neck even. But there were many things different. My cheekbones weren't the same. The shape of my eyes were wrong too. The list went on with most of my body features. Some the same. Some different

As I went to wonder why the answer came to me almost immediately. Whenever you place a soul into something it tries to take the shape that it's soul recognizes as it's own. It was a major principle on the Edo Tensei and also why a jinchuriki often released their biju's chakara in a shape similar to the biju itself. But in living flesh there was a certain limit to it.

Orochimaru was already well on his way to taking over this body when I, somehow, ate his soul and took over it myself. Still giving me all of the man's knowledge and ability. His summoning tattoo was also still present and my chakra could feel the contract was still active and would respond to my call. Then there was the position. If I left the room I also knew that I would find over a hundred men and women who would kill and die at my word now.

Well at least I was still a woman? Since the man had already been in the process of taking over a woman. The same one that he had when he fought Sarutobi if I could guess right. Small comforts and all that.

A knock came at the door.

"Orochimaru-sama, I know you might still be recovering, but you asked me to immediately bring you the report when it arrived. All the test subjects have passed away and none exhibited the desired results before they passed. Should I start on the next batch of subjects?" A voice called through the door.

What was he- Oh. Orochimaru was trying to forcibly give people super healing effects and failed at it. The next batch was supposed to be all children under the age of five.

Well that shit was stopping right now.

"No. For that matter please call for a meeting among my lieutenants. We will be making some changes in light of...new information."  
I felt exhausted. The back of my mind noting it was due to a large amount of chakra depletion. But due to how Orochimaru was running this show like this was the Island of Doctor Moreau the longer I waited to make changes the more people would die. I'll have more than enough guilt and nightmares about the shit Orochimaru has already done, I didn't need the death of innocents added on to that.

I stood up and stretched before putting on Orichumaru's old clothes. They were hideous, by the way, but they would do for now. Walking out of the room there was only one thing on my mind:

Time to make some changes.

Besides, I was flipping Orochimaru. Pretty sure it wouldn't be hard to get them to go with what I decide.  
\-----

"So, to recap." One of my minions said, disbelief clear on his face, "You want us to stop all research that has a risk of the subject dying. You want us to stop all current missions that involve gathering more research subjects. And you also want all of our spies to take lower risk missions?" One of my head researches asked.

"Yes. That is correct." I responded.

There wasn't a murmur in the room, all of the people in the room either too well trained or too afraid of me to vocalize anything resembling disagreement. But looks were shared and a tense nervous atmosphere settled into the room.

"Um...can I ask why? My research is close to getting results."

"I have plans now. Plans that will require me to have as many people to command as possible. I need lives not to be spent on other things currently. Plus I have now had a recent...disagreement with a group of very powerful people. We need to keep a lower profile for a while." My own powers of bullshittery were already pretty strong, but Orochimaru's training added in? They were pretty powerful.

But I was trying to sell non-violence to what was basically the people running Auschwitz. I certainly couldn't get them to do it on a basis of morality, and I did want a structure here. A base of power. This world sucked, and I would be a force to help change it.

Plus pretty much everyone with power wants me dead.

So, I had preserve what I had, and these guys didn't seem to be very happy with this idea.

"Orochimaru-sama, I can't accept this. When I joined up with you it was because you said I could complete my studies without any constraints, and you want to take that away when I'm so close to a breakthrough?" The man didn't yell, but the veins on his neck and face bulged with anger. Many faces around the table looked to be the same. Minus a few that seemed to affronted that he would ever question me.

I would probably have to make an example and this guy was making himself a target. But I didn't want to kill anyone. Orochimaru may have killed thousands, but I had not. Besides, this man could have his own children and fami-  
Memories filtered through on how Orochimaru had found this man. His experiments had killed scores of people. The Hidden Waterfall Village was growing tired of failures and were reluctant to provide any more test subjects. So the man used his wife and son. His notes had been meticulously detailed about their deaths.

"Now, Tsukino-kun, I don't appreciate you making such a mess in my meeting room."

Confusion crossed the man's face. "Mess? I don't-"

I opened my mouth and Kusanagi's blade shot out and impaled the man in the throat before he could say anything else. He fell to the floor with a wheeze. The blade of the Kusanagi had done it's job so quickly no blood had even managed to splash onto the tool of death.

"Ara ara, causing such a mess." I said with a shrug, as if I was mother saying "Boys will be boys." Everyone else in the room had gotten deathly still. "Now then! I lost track of what we were talking about. Were any of you stating that you were going against my order too? I'm a bit tired and forgot who were on which side."

Shockingly, everyone seemed in full support of my plan now.

"Meeting dismissed then." I ordered as everyone quickly filed out of the room. Once everyone was gone I sat there and waited.

I surprised myself and didn't cry. I had thought I would cry after that. Instead I stood, walked over to Tsukino's body and carefully closed the man's wide, terrified eyes.

I didn't like killing. Even if I wouldn't cry over it, it was still distressful to me. Still felt like such a waste. But the threat of death is how Orochimaru kept these people in line, and until I could fill the ranks with people that I trusted the continued threat of death is likely the only thing that would keep them in line.

"Damn you, monster." I muttered under my breath.

Still, I'd drag this village into being more than a din of depraved monsters and mewling sycophants yet. Right after I figured how the hell to actually do that now.  
\----

It started with paint. I'd initially informed everyone that, since we were sending less personnel out, I had some busy work for them. Idle hands and all that. So I had gotten some white paint and had them put a fresh coat of paint on the walls. It's amazing how much a coat of paint can change the feel of a place.

It transformed the little hideout from being a gaping maw of darkness to giving off the feel of a government building. So basically only slightly better.

However, I then put in for the ceiling to be painted blue. I stated that it helps to keep people awake if the ceiling is the same shade as an open blue sky. It all seemed as a logical way to make them better at paying attention to their jobs.

I'll eventually find some nice paintings and stuff to hang up. As soon as I'm able to actually leave this pit and be confident none of my minions will start offing people.

I swear these people were like two steps away from Lord of the Flies.

"Ishida-kun. I have tasked you to research avenues of curing heart disease, did I not?"

"Yes Orochimaru-sama." He said, eyes low.

"And why exactly are you presenting me with a plan to cure heart disease that will also destroy their liver and damage brain cells?"

"I know it is incomplete, but I felt we were at the stage for human testing."

"You aren't. Continue to use the pigs that I provided."

"Ah. Um...about that. I am out of pigs."

I blinked and slowly looked up from what I had been writing on my desk. "I gave you one-hundred pigs. Last week."

"...yes Orochimaru-sama."

For fucks sake! These people didn't know how to research anything without killing something! Two weeks ago I barely stopped a group I had tasked with studying new implementations of fire techniques on a living subject. The technique didn't even require anything beyond a wooden target!

"Get out." I ordered.

"Yes Orochimaru-Sama." He said before bowing out of the room. A few seconds later a piece of paper was pushed under the door asking if he would be getting more pigs soon.

The fact that I don't bang my head against a wall is really a compliment to my sanity.

Finding things for these people to do that didn't violate international ethical laws on even THIS world was proving to be very difficult. Most of the minion's research and desires were not the stuff of a ordered and peaceful society.

Hell, Orochimaru wasn't even PAYING these people. They were here because they were messed up enough in the head to stay or because they were too afraid to leave.

That's not even counting the various people here to fight and kill. The regular people intended to be soldiers and guinea pigs. Though those were proving easier to please. I sent them out to hunt for food and tasked their commander to treat it as an exercise in stealth. To not let anyone see them and leave no traces. Even a town person mysteriously disappearing would be considered a failure. I also started up other attempts at actual training, which is apparently something that we weren't doing before.

We were apparently just getting certain subject to fine too whatever thing on them we were researching and that's about it. Which Orochimaru KNEW made them weaker and more liable to die. He just didn't care.  
So I was doing the equivalent of assigning people D rank missions. Establishing working as a team being a thing that was actually important. And pretty much all of the rank and file soldiers, after the first two weeks of grumbling, seemed to be enjoying the new structured pace and feeling as if they were completing tasks.

After all, most humans want to work and not just stand around doing nothing. Even a NEET wanted to read and play games, which is a byproduct of wanting to feel like you were accomplishing something.  
But I had also come to realize what it was I needed to do. I needed to make my own hidden village. I sort of had that, but I needed the village to have more strength. I needed something that could challenge one of the big villages. I needed something that's strength was acknowledged enough that I would able to call myself a Kage, a title reserved for only the five major ninja villages.

I would need to go recruiting. Hidden Villages are very competitive, and if I wanted to become a threat it would need to be rapidly enough that not everyone realized I was so much of a threat until I was more of a pain to take out that I was worth. More of these brainwashed edgelords here were going to help with that. I needed to take a page out of Akatsuki's playbook and recruit missing-nin. Which would, in turn, help me with raising the strength of the rest of my people as they start to train other people.

Orochimaru was grabbing up any random person with a Bloodlimit he could find before all of this anyways. So if a little work got put into them there would be a good base of power here. I just needed Jonin first.

"Orochimaru-Sama." A voice came from my door. I was so tired of hearing that. "I have come to submit for human testing." I was tired of hearing that too.

I ripped the door open and took stalk of the now very nervous woman at my door. "Kuchiki-san. I would like to clarify something. Your research is towards making plants grow faster, correct?"

"Yes Orochimaru-sama"

"Through applications of chemical and chakra treated dirt." I added on.

"Yes Orochimaru-sama."

The only thing I had demanded be approved through me for human trials was for things that had a high probability of harming someone. So rather than asking how the fuck her research would ever need human trial approval, I just strode past her and away and said, "Do not follow me."

I still had many things I wanted to check up on. Many subjects I want to help and try to actually cure instead of just study. But I was too busy stopping people from sticking a knife in a metaphorical light socket to do that. So, for the first time I decided to do something else. I navigated the purposely confusing corridors and entered a lab with a subject that could help me on my next project.

The room was full of only a giant chamber of water and various testing equipment ranging from computers (somehow) to seal arrays. A face suddenly appeared in the water, looking at me with a confused expression. I ignored him for a few moments to interact with the sealing array. In moments the chamber drained of most of it's water until only the water in the shape of a young teenager remained.

"Who are you?" he asked as he took on the colors of a normal human being.

"Ara Ara. You don't recognize the one that you begged to take you in, Suigetsu-kun?"

He raised an eyebrow, "You don't look like Orochimaru." He said with eyes locked onto my chest.

"Yes, well some things have changed."

I ignore his muttering of "Big change."

"I need your help Suigetsu-kun." I lean forward and lower my voice, as if I were whispering a secret, "What can you tell me about the personality of Momochi Zabuza?"

\-----

A/N: So, this all started when, on the discord I write on, someone posted a picture of Orochimaru genderbent and said Orochimama. They didn't mean it directed towards me specifically but, if you notice my screen name, it made me put Orochimaru and myself together. And then idea after idea came and now you have the start of this. Though later on I think in story the name will become Orochitama.


	2. Chapter 2

Hibiki Nagisa had been the right hand man of Orochimaru for more than five years. It was he that had assisted his master for years in his research of immortality; defy death by changing bodies. The technique was perfect.

At least it was supposed to be.

His master had come back from his attempt on Uchiha Itachi beaten and bloody. The Sharingan somehow blocking the attempt to take over the young prodigy. They rushed to find a replacement for his master's failing body. They had decided to use the Setsushi girl as a host. Her bloodline might help in the research of Edo Tensei.

It was a good plan. Orochimaru-sama had agreed it was a good plan.

But now...

"Ara ara. It's good for you to make friends Suigeitsu-kun. We'll still help you get stronger of course, but it's no good for your growth to stay locked up in a tube all day." Orochimaru-sama walked down the hall with test subject 1701. The boy was alternating between staring baffled at the Snake Sannin leading him and the staring at the well lit and painted walls.

Orochimaru-sama had changed.

He had no idea how or why. The girl that was sacrificed was a broken shell with hardly a will of her own, there was no way she could could fight against his master's attempt to possess her.

But something was wrong.

The body changing after being possessed was normal. It was supposed to happen. It was meant to change to an appearance closer to Orochimaru-sama, not change to look even more feminine.

Then there were the personality changes, which wasn't meant to happen at all. Couldn't happen in fact. So the sudden change in priorities and personality must be because of a change in plans. His master must be doing all of this for a reason. This must be some plan to secure true immortality.

Nagisa just had to be patient and see how this plan would unfold. It would undoubtedly lead to scientific breakthroughs and greater amounts of power in the hands of him and his master.

He just needed to figure out how posters of felines and the words "Hang in there" factored into things.  
\-------

"So where are you taking me?" Suigetsu asked in suspicion.

This was probably really confusing for the boy. Besides the fact that I looked like, well, me; which really would throw anyone for a loop when they were expecting snake pedo. Suigetsu had gone into that chamber months ago, when everything out here looked very Resident Evil. Now the halls looked clean, there were splashes of vibrant colors here and there, and I got better light sources. It was still torches though, since I couldn't afford to run that kind of electricity yet.

Orochimaru apparently didn't have time for things like "establishing an economy".

"I told you, Suigetsu-kun. To make a friend."

The boy made retching sound in the back of his throat and began to pout as he walked beside me.

"Ara ara. You stick that lip out much farther you'll trip on it." The embodiment of water looked like he had no idea how to respond to that. "Besides, we've arrived."

The door before us was made of iron. It also had metal gate with its own lock. The gate was open. It seemed Kimimaro was already visiting. Suigetsu stared in apprehension as I opened a door capable of stopping a rhino in full charge.

"Orochimaru-sama." Kimimaro was on one knee bowing to me in seconds. I stopped myself from sighing in frustration. The leader of my "body guards" would only take it as a sign he should supplicate even more.

The other occupant of the room, a copper-haired teenager that had clearly been eating his Wheaties, stood looking between Kimimaro and myself before slowly starting to lower himself into a bow as well.

I quickly interrupted his attempt. "Jugo-kun. This is Suigetsu."

The name Jugo is familiar to Suigetsu apparently, as the boy began to sweat marble sized water droplets. I put a comforting hand on Suigetsu's shoulder.

It does not seem to help.

"Kimimaro. Would you please be present for this? I want the two of them to get to know each other. Too few of our shinobi share in the bond of friendship. So I want to help our younger members bond."

"Yes Orochimaru-sama." Kimimaro said without hesitation, then seemed to pause as he processed what it was I had just said.

I gently guided Suigetsu into the room with the hand that still rested on his shoulder and he only fought against the push a little. "And to help you the bonding I brought a little something to help you."

All eyes in the room locked onto me and all of their stances tensed. Even Kimimaro.

Orochimaru, you absolute fucking psychopath.

I withdrew a simple rubber ball that fit easily in the palm of hand. I had gotten them to be used for reflex exercise in replacement of the very sharp kunai that we had been using. And if there was one thing I did know, if you leave boys alone with a ball they will play with it. It's just what people do.

I threw the ball to Suigetsu and gave my best charming smile. "I'll come back later to pick you back up and to take Kimi-kun for some tests. Play nice boys!"

I shut the door before any of them could respond.

The rubber balls were a good idea. I was glad that I had put them in the supply requests. That line of thinking then had me wonder how much the rubber balls had cost. Which in turn had me realize that Oto had next to no income. Which then had me come to the realization that I had probably caused my ninja to go rob a toy store.

I took a moment to run a hand down my face. Oto was not meant to run in a long term and was meant to completely collapse if Orochimaru had left for a significant period of time. It was a tool meant to be used and discarded. And I had decided to turn the mess into an actual functioning hidden village. I needed more soldiers, administrators, and connections to do that, but I couldn't because all the dumb-asses and psychopaths would start killing each other and random bystanders the moment I turned my back!

I then resolved to do something I hadn't wanted to do. It's usually not a great idea to invite a spy into handling the logistics of running your empire, but I was running out of options. I headed to my office and promptly sent off a recall order for Kabuto.

The medic had not yet become fully loyal to me yet, but I didn't feel like turning him away from Danzo would be a particularly hard sell. Danzo was far more stick than carrot after all.

In the meantime, I had decided that I had dealt with enough stupid for the day and resolved to go to a nearby town for shopping. The purple bow looked decent on me, but everyone else I'd seen wearing it had it look just awful.

The very fact Orochimaru approved the Sound Four's uniform really says a lot about him.  
\------

Suigetsu held the ball at arms length. Slowly turning it to see if it had some sort of seal, poison, or...something on it. The thing had to be boobytraped somehow. There is no way Orochimaru gave them a rubber ball just to play.

"That was Orochimaru?" Jugo asked.

"Yes. That was Orochimaru-sama." Kimimaro intoned.

"Ain't so sure the 'maru' part of that fits anymore." Suigetsu said as he tested the ball with a squeeze to see if it released some noxious gas or exploded. Nothing happened with the ball, but he did get a good dose of killing intent from Kimimaro.

"You will show respect." Kimimaro stated. Suigetsu wondered how someone could have have so little emotion in their voice, and yet sound so threatening.

"I just meant maru is the ending to a guys name. And Orochimaru is clearly not trying to sound like a guy right now. She's going 'Ara ara'!" Suigetsu defended.

The stupid dots on Kimimaro's forehead drew closer together as he seemed to struggle with Suigetsu's words. The white haired prick was apparently troubled by Orochi-whatever's sudden midlife crisis.

"That was a guy? He was so pretty though." Jugo asked.

"Of sorts." Kimimaro said, "Orochimaru-sama is able to move from one person's body to the next. His most recent host is a woman."

Suigetsu highly doubted that was it. That wouldn't explain the sudden use of 'ara ara', which was something only middle aged women say. Plus he figured the snake sannin knew at least five different ways to still look and sound like a guy. This was clearly a choice.

"Then isn't Orochimaru just getting used to her body and is coming to accept herself? I don't think there's anything wrong with that." Jugo said while looking at the rubber ball in longing.

Kimimaro put one hand to his chin and muttered, "That could be it."

After a few more moments of Jugo staring at the rubber ball Suigetsu finally bounced it over towards the room's normal resident. He bounced the ball off the ground a few times, marveling at the simple act.

"That sounds like a decent explanation to me. From now on I'll just call her Boss Lady and if she doesn't like it she can kill me herself."

Kimimaro nodded his head, "Yes, that way you will be useful to me at least in death. Very well."

Suigetsu felt his eye twitch at the casual talk of his death serving a purpose.

"Hey. Jugo. Can I see that again real fast?" Suigetsu asked.

"Sure!" Jugo took way too much joy having the ball bounce back to Suigetsu.

The former Mist Nin then took the ball, wound up, and threw it as hard as he could at Kimimaro's head.

The head of Orochimaru's personal guard plucked the ball out of the air before it could connect with anything. He stared at the ball in contemplation for a moment, before glancing at Jugo.

"Orochimaru-sama did tell us to 'play'." He muttered before the rubber ball made Suigetsu's left shoulder explode in a spray of water.

Suigetsu glanced down at his shoulder in surprise. He hadn't expected a rubber ball to do THAT much damage to him.

"So that's why she wanted to make us be friends." Jugo exclaimed.

Suigetsu ignored him to take the opportunity to snatch the ball from his shoulder and tried to get it to ricochet off the wall behind Kimimaro to peg the smug bastard in the ass.

Kimimaro simply did a half-turn and let the ball bounce past him and towards Jugo. The giant oaf just happily grabbed it and threw it towards Suigetsu. Who had his pinky finger splatter apart when he reached for it.

"That's it, you're both dead. I'm gonna kill you both with this damn ball." Suigetsu growled and snatched the ball up again.  
\------

The time at the local town was lovely, and just what I needed. I had used a snake skin technique to let me not look quite so...Orochimaru during my trip. I bought some clothes. I treated myself to a little something sweet. I flirted with a stall owner. Really just enjoyed some me time. It was the best two and half hours I've had since I came to this world.

It wasn't worth it.

Behind me a bucket line was frantically trying to put out a pulsing green fire that was eating at a wall and yet also was somehow not producing any smoke. Several dead pigs also lay around me burning with a green smokeless fire that none the less was slowly burning the pigs to a charred husk.

The two glanced over at each other, came to a conclusion together, and immediately came to a decision.

"She stole my subjects."/"He was trying to take my research notes!"

They immediately tried to throw each other under the bus.  
It had only been after I arrived that someone decided to kill the on fire pigs instead of letting them running around setting more things on fire.

The two major people responsible sat seiza before me with their heads bowed.

"So, would please tell me how exactly this happened. Rumiko-chan, Botan-kun." Their frightened faces attempted to to hide behind their bangs, "Did you at least discover something from all this?" I asked and didn't even keep a cool façade up anymore, massaging my temples.

"Um..." They said looking to each other with wide frantic eyes, both certain if they answered no to this I would probably kill them.

Which I didn't want to do, but killing people that fuck up on this scale is largely how Orochimaru keeps people from getting out of line. I would have no choice but to kill them. While both were not nice people, as will most all of Sound's sociopaths, I didn't want to kill someone over this stupid shit.

"Can you at least duplicate the smokeless fire?" I said, trying to salvage it. A smokeless fire could be very useful to shinobi trying to hide.

"Yes! Definitely."/"We can totally do that! I promise!"

"Then you can try to produce it, without live subjects, and show me results within the month." I said as I turned to leave the two to collapse in relief.

I then promptly went to my room, unsealed my shopping bags, and edited my urgent recall order for Kabuto to be the highest possible urgency.

"I swear, it's like Aperture Science as run by Three Stooges."


	3. Chapter 3

"We need more support this weekend in the morgue."

Kabuto looked up at the man and pretended to give a sigh of frustration. "I have to study, but I could possibly come in the morning." Kabuto gave the countersign.

The messenger nodded and handed him what looked like medical reports bound up in twine.

"It would be best if you came earlier."

Kabuto kept surprise from his face. Whatever message Orochimaru had hidden in the documents was flagged as the highest possible emergency.

"I'll try my best." He promised.

His fellow spy nodded and quickly made himself scarce. Kabuto waited another half hour before excusing himself from work to decode the message hidden the medical documents.

Kabuto spent the next twenty minutes flipping through the pages and slowly applying his memorized cipher decoding the message. It was a recall order from Orochimaru directly. Telling him that he needed to report back immediately to assist the Snake Sannin. It really didn't go into much beyond that his assistance was required. Kabuto was fairly confident it was just to provide medical expertise on a sensitive project.

It wasn't anything he hadn't done before. He should send a copy of the message to Danzo and gain permission to go, but the last line of the message was making him hesitant.  
He had triple checked that he was interpreting the code correctly. Kabuto found himself wondering if maybe he had been compromised.

After all, there was no way that Orochimaru would send a message stating "I can't leave for two hours to buy a bra without these morons doing something stupid."

He finally had to admit defeat and came to the conclusion that one of Orochimaru's people had accidentally put a personal note in with the message. Mistakes did occasionally happen at what was basically the secretary level of the ninja spy game. So, he sent the contents of the message, minus the last sentence, off for his Root contact to report to Danzo. He technically should wait around to receive permission from Danzo to leave, but he could probably get away without doing so since his summons was flagged at such a high priority.

Kabuto made his excuses at the hospital, grabbed one of his pre-set travel packs, and was leaving the pit of hypocrisy that was Konoha in a shorter amount of time than it took him to decode the first message.  
\--------

His journey had him arriving at Oto's major hideout late in the evening. The time when most people will have finished their last meal of the day and would soon find themselves settling into their beds. Which was really Kabuto's least favorite time of the day. It was too late for most people to want to do business and too early to kill someone while they slept.

Kabuto started to head for Orochimaru's private office when he ran into Hibiki Nagisa, whose expression was that of a pinched lemon.

"Oh. You're back." Hibiki said.

Kabuto put on his plastic smile. "Yes. Orochimaru-sama had summoned me. He asked for me to report as soon as possible."

Hibiki's face soured further. "Why?"

The scientist was beginning to really try Kabuto's patience, but he made sure to keep the friendly smile on his face. Hibiki was simply worried that Kabuto would going to replace him, part of the older man knew that the only reason he was around was because of how long he'd worked on the body changing technique and knew enough to assist the Snake Sannin. So it was only a matter of time before someone else learned enough to bump him out of his spot as second in command.

Which was frightening, because one did not typically leave Orochimaru's employ with a retirement plan and health benefits.

"I'm not sure. I don't make a habit of questioning Orochimaru-sama's decisions." Kabuto replied.

"Ah. Yes, see that you don't." Hibiki said before turning away, "I will take you to him then."

Then, to Kabuto's surprise, Nagisa did not head towards Orochimaru's private labs, but instead walked towards what Kabuto knew to be where they kept their "laboratory volunteers" locked up. Orochimaru very rarely ever went there, preferring to send someone else to fetch a test subject if he needed one. Though quite a few things were beginning to show him that the layout of Otogakure was likely very different compared to the last time he had been there.

Painted walls. Bright colors. More lighting. There was even the occasional potted plant and a few strategically placed benches.

Kabuto couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. It made no sense for Orochimaru waste resources on such frivolous things. From what he knew of Orochimaru the man probably wouldn't even think to add benches in the first place.

"Nagisa-sempai. There have been lots of changes since I was last here. What's going on?"

The older man gave a scoff. "Orochimaru-sama has ordered we make changes to our goals to focus on more long term benefits rather than short term ones. Increasing the strength of our soldiers through better training and having them stay mentally refreshed to best function as ninja. Orochimaru-sama stated his research has showed these...decorative changes help with that." He said as if chastising Kabuto for not already knowing what the Snake Sannin had said.

Kabuto, personally, just found he couldn't wait until he managed to take Hibiki's job. The man was insufferable. But if what the man had said was true, then Kabuto had much more to worry about. Danzo had never worried about Otogakure since the place was obviously designed to fail at a moments notice. To not seem threatening to the other village's power. If it was shifting focus to allow for a proper hidden village there would be blood spilled. And it would be soon.

Considering how Otogakure was run, there was no way that this could last long without sweeping changes in administration. Kabuto suddenly had a very bad feeling he knew exactly why it was that he was being recalled.

"It's open. Good. Orochimaru-sama is still here." Nagisa said as the closed in on what he knew to be the cell block where they kept all of the test subjects below the age of ten. Before him sat a heavy iron door completely coated in seals. The door had not been there before and, more surprisingly, was clearly designed not for keeping people in, but rather keeping others out.

Far more of a shock, was what he saw when he stepped into the room. Color. Bright primary colors painted all over the room. Colorful cartooned animals were all over the walls playing in fields of flowers and cheery sunlight. There was one spot on the wall painted a dark black, but children's chalk drawling covered it's surface.

Where there had been cells before there were now small rooms with curtains to protect privacy and a bunk bed equipped with a small dresser sat in each room too. None of that compared to what he observed next though.

"The acorn rolled down and down~"

All the children were gathered together on the pelt of a massive tiger. In the middle of them, on a rocking chair of all things, sat a woman that looked disturbingly like Orochimaru. The woman had a smiling child in her lap that was rapidly loosing it's fight against sleep.

And this Orochimaru impostor was singing.

"He suddenly fell into a pond~"

Singly beautifully and with a great amount of femininity.

Kabuto looked over at Nagisa, hoping that there might be some other explanation for what exactly was going on here, especially since, going by the fact that Nagisa had told him he was taking him to Orochimaru, he was clearly indicating that this...person was supposed to be the same one he had done a vivisection with the last time he was here.

Nagisa was also staring with varying amounts of confusion, worry, and contemplation at the singing woman. Kabuto himself had trouble tearing his gaze of bizarre fascination on the woman wearing a purple turtleneck sweater. He however managed to do so when he spotted something else that made him do a double take.

Guren, a ninja capable of using crystal release and one of Orochimaru's strongest jonin, was also in the room and currently placing an infant into a newly formed crib made of crystal. The pale woman with purple hair soon marched to them and hissed over to them.

"Why are you here. Orochimaru-sama does not wish to be disturbed."

Kabuto's mind noted that the woman was taking pains to not be loud and interrupt...Oroshimaru's nursery song. He also observed that none of the children seemed to find the use of her crystal release particularly noteworthy. Meaning that Guren, the same Guren that he knew always smiled at the possibility of bloodshed, was coming into this room on a regular basis and being assigned to watch children.

"Orochimaru-sama asked for me to report immediately. It was marked with highest possible urgency." Kabuto said with his standard issue smile.

Guren turned her angry gaze to Nagisa. "You were told to not come in here anymore."

"Ah. Well. Kabuto said it was urgent so..." The older man trailed off.

"Leave." Guren ordered Nagisa. Though to Kabuto she ordered, "Go stand over there, and if I see you so much as approach one of the children I will turn you into a statue."

Kabuto adjusted his glasses, "Oh! What has you so protective? Gaining a soft spot are we?"

Guren scoffed, "No. Orochimaru-sama has charged me with the protection of these children. None may lay a hand on them without permission."

Orochimaru had assigned Guren, one of Otogakure's strongest ninja, to constantly guard these children? That was a complete waste of resources. In any other village he'd say it was due to some ideal about the innocence of children, but this was Orochimaru. There must be some specific threat he was trying to combat. One of the children must be important. Or maybe it's just busy work for Guren.

"Ara ara. Look at all those sleepy nodding heads. It seems we have arrived at bedtime." Orochimaru said, and in response the children groaned in complaint. They actually groan at Orochimaru stopping her singing. While it did actually sound fairly good it was still the Snake Sannin! The single most feared ninja of Konoha in the last two decades for his cruelty and pragmatism.

These children where gripping her leg and-

"Can we stay up Orochitama?"/ "Can't you read that story from last time again?"/ "Next time I get to sit in your lap, right?"

Then it all clicked.

Nagisa had said that Orochimaru was switching to long term goals. The entire building was now made to make people to feel more at ease. More at home. Previously ninja were made to just be discarded and only by being useful could they be allowed to survive. This was how many ninja villages operated. It was shown to be how you make the most people loyal for their entire lives. But this was more like Kumo and Konoha's methods. Making people think they were valued and invest that ideal into a home. While it produced less middle tier ninja this way it consistently produced the most jonin level ninja.

With Orochimaru changing bodies too it was the perfect time for it. People put so much stock in appearances that with just a slightly different way of talking and looking just bit different people will subconsciously wave away previous actions.

The obviously exaggerated matronly features were even more devious. The number of people that would die for their country was extensive, but the people that would die for family, for their mother? That was a far more impressive list.

Orochimaru had spent years grinding down the wills of the people. Making them lose hope. Lose meaning. Lose themselves. And now they were going to be giving it back, and the only person they will have to thank will be Orochimaru.

It was brilliant. Inspired even. He wondered if Orochimaru had timed this specifically so he could see these children's naked devotion. So few people would understand what happened. Why it happened. Guren herself probably had no idea and thought that Orochimaru was truly doing this out of a sudden value for children, getting one of her strongest ninja to swallow this change of practice, while at the same time using her as an enforcer to make anyone very afraid of saying anything against Orochimaru's new standards.

It was probably why he had been called back too. A new face in the administration to go with the new rules.

Orochimaru...or rather Orochitama really had thought of everything.

Orochitama was already committing to this new persona even in secured communication. Having themselves come off as just an overly busy innocent woman. The change would be so sudden most other villages wouldn't know what to do and assume false data or just wait to watch what happens, because ninja hate jumping into something when they have no idea what they are jumping into. It would buy her a few months, maybe a year, to build up the village to be something just troublesome enough to not be worth crushing.

It was a gamble, but one that might just work.

"Ara ara. You finally arrived Kabuto-kun. I've been so excited for you to come back. Come with me to my office and we'll discuss what I need from you." Orochitama said.

"Yes, Orochitama-sama." Kabuto said with a knowing tone, the Snake Sannin paused just for a moment, so slowly he almost doubted his judgment on the hesitance, before they turned to address Guren.

That hesitation was telling. He couldn't be certain on what it was for, but he had clearly caught them by surprise when he used Orochitama. But since no correction came, that was basically permission for him to use that name going forward.

"Do you need anything else for tonight Guren-chan?"

"No Orochimaru-sama. Though..." Guren hesitated, with a meaningful glance at Kabuto before admitting, "We could use more of the diapers. We use them almost faster than we can clean them."

Kabuto noted the Crystal Ninja's embarrassment about dealing with such matters as a future pressure point.

"I'll see it's done Guren-chan."

Kabuto just shook his head. What a masterful performance.  
\-----

I finally had Kabuto and I was once again having mixed feelings on the matter. The med-nin had dropped a few hints at something and I really wasn't sure what it was. It had started when he first called me Orochitama and I hesitated on deciding if I wanted him to actually call me that or not. Anything he called me would spread to others calling me that too. It should be fine. It initially started when a toddler had mangled saying Orochimaru-sama and the others just kind of went with it. However, thanks to Orochimaru's training and memories, I'm pretty sure that Kabuto thinks I have some secret plan with all of this that I don't really have.

I mean, outside establishing this place as a proper hidden village. He figured that out on his own and I had confirmed it, but he kept acting like there was a deeper secret and seemed just amused when I said there wasn't one.

Whatever it is that Kabuto thinks he understands though is working really well for me. When I had brought him to my office and told him what it was that I was wanting him to do he seemed to immediately grasp the concept.

"You want me to limit any sort of injury or death of anyone in the facility, and you want me to enforce your new rules with as gentle of a hand as possible, while only killing someone when they directly choose to disobey one of your new rules with a stated intention to do so again."

"Yes, Kabuto-kun. That's exactly what I want."

"I understand Orochitama-sama."

I had regularly been told that in the weeks leading up to that moment and I it was regularly proven to me that the other person did NOT understand.

"Just to make sure Kabuto-kun. I'm going to ask some questions." I said, "If someone asks you if it's okay for human testing of an assassination technique, how do you respond?"

"For them to test it on an animal subject until polished enough to use in the field. Then to only use it in the field and not an fellow subjects of Otogakure."

I gave a nod of agreement. "If someone is found stealing from the kitchens, what is the appropriate response?"

"Speak to them in private and inform them that their actions would greatly displease you, Orochitama-sama, and that if they do not correct their behavior they will suffer your disappointment."

I had been pretty sure he meant that with far more menace than I would want him to have, but that was loads better than the last time I had asked the question and had been told that they would have the offender dragged away to be force fed live burrowing beetles.

"That would be fine. I'd add that since they are wanting more food we can offer them more missions that would increase their personal ration supply."

Kabuto gave a nod. "Ah. Yes. Addressing his concerns."

On the questions went, with Kabuto showing he at least mostly understood what it was I wanted and only took a slight bit of correcting on some of his questions. He was even able to answer questions on why I wanted things done.

"And why don't I want us to do testing on a human subject until we know it's absolutely safe?"

"We want good science with lots of data points to be able to understand best what we are doing, instead of just throwing away a resource. A resource that is a valued and loved part of Orochitama-sama's village."

My eyes narrowed because while the words were correct there was absolutely a feeling behind them that wasn't what I was looking for.

However, beggars can't be choosers, and of all the candidates I've had thus far he was the only one that could at least answer the questions right, even if it wasn't in quite the way that I want. But I couldn't exactly inject human kindness into someone as of yet, so it would have to do for the moment.

"When you aren't managing the other workers I want you focusing on two projects. Both of which I will be assisting with. The first is trying to help Kimimaro's condition. I've removed him from active missions for the moment so we can best make sure he is taken care of."

Kabuto nodded, "Yes. He is far too great of a resource for us to lose."

I gave a nod. He wasn't wrong. When completely healthy Kimimaro could challenge Hatake Kakashi in a straight fight, at least with his cursed seal form. Losing him would be a great blow to our village.

"The other thing is a technique I have that I want to put the finishing touches on. It will be purely theoretical polishing for the moment."

Brief but genuine excitement crossed Kabuto's face. Orochimaru had managed to sway Kabuto to his side because he understood one thing about the spy. He loved to study. He loved to learn. Putting the finest polish on the theory behind something was practically a reward for Kabuto. In his life of no attachments Kabuto had one thing to ground himself. His curiosity. The one thing Danzo allowed him to have.

"What technique will we be working on?" Kabuto asked, mask of politeness in place.

I hesitated. It was a technique I hated. The very concept behind it was almost insulting to my morality, but it's utility was too great for me to ignore. Which also kind of scared me too.

"You will help me study the Edo Tensei."

Kabuto gave me an eager smile, that probably wasn't completely fake. Which was probably a good thing. I needed his enthusiasm. I needed to do what I could to have him on my side. Because I had to leave soon. I had certain things I didn't trust to my subordinates. Plus, while I was quite strong, I needed to be stronger for the coming days. One month. I would stick around for one more month to make sure that Kabuto was capable of having things run without me present, then I would need to leave for several weeks.

Soon it was time for me to actually go out into the world. God help them.


	4. Chapter 4

Tayuya didn't really see what the big deal was.

"But how can we still be sure it's still Orochimaru-sama? He-" Kidomaru hesitated, "She is acting completely different. Minimizing casualties. Most research is now about things like medicines and jutsu that anyone can use. It's completely different from what was being done before."

"Right. And someone that just so happens to know all of Orochimaru's pass codes, techniques, and also just so happens to have a snake contract and the Kusanagi. Get real dumb-ass. It's the same person." Sakon mocked.

The collective morons that made up the Sound Four had regularly taken to bickering about the boss's decision to act like some air-headed bimbo. It was really fucking weird, to be sure, but this constant arguing on whether they still serve the same master was just so fucking pointless.

"Sweet Tits of Izanami, shut up!" She growled. The rest of Orochimaru's personal guards turned to her. Well most of them. None of them were dumb enough to have this conversation around Kimimaro. "If she is or isn't the original doesn't fucking matter! She can still take us apart like tissue paper. Her strength is real and that's all that counts in this fucked up world."

The ninja all shuffled in place. They had seen the strength for themselves. They knew she was right.

"Women shouldn't talk like that." Jirobo said, "But the new Orochimaru is also training us personally. We'll all be much stronger if things keep going this way. I like this better."

"The fact we get way more pork is the real reason you're happy, fatass." Tayuya said with a roll of her eyes. Couldn't have the tub of lard thinking that just because he agreed with her they were somehow friends or something.

The stupid bickering cut out though. All of them knew for sure that Boss Lady still had real power. The power to rival the strongest ninja in the world. At the end of the day, nothing else really mattered. You follow the strong or you die. There was nothing else to it.

"Come on. We have two hour to finish this training before we gotta see Chief Snakeyness. Lets get this over with." Tayuya said before turning back to the room full of moving targets and timed objectives.

Orochimaru was making changes, and they needed to keep strong or they would find themselves one of the one those "dismissed" from employment.  
\-------

Things were beginning to get under control. It had been two weeks and there hadn't been a single unintended death. I could go out and help train some ninja for hours at a time without having things literally catch fire. I was somehow receiving even larger amounts of request for human testing though. But I was feeling better about things being somewhat stabilized.

Taking Kabuto had been very helpful. I just hoped he wasn't reporting everything happening to Danzo or Sasori. I mean, he almost certainly had to tell them something, but I didn't need all my dirty little secrets reported.

But after a month of having him assist in managing the din of psychos and idiots I felt confident enough to leave the spy in charge of running things for a week. I needed to get some things done and the clock was ticking down on me being able to make great strides in fixing my problems with man power, money, and supply lines all in one fell swoop.

I even had the perfect thing to make sure that Kabuto didn't try and stab me in the back while I was gone. Someone who, in his own words, was the arch nemesis of Kabuto.

"As a reminder, Nagisa-kun, don't confront Kabuto with any suspicions you have. If you see something just report it to Guren or Kimimaro. They will know how I want them to respond. You won't be able to take Kabuto in a fight anyways."

I realized that Nagisa was a little unfit for the job. However I needed someone who actually understood all of the laboratory stuff to keep an eye on what was going on. Hopefully Guren and Kimimaro could manage to keep his rampant paranoia about Kabuto in check.

I had already told the two to prepare themselves for a stream of baseless accusations.

"I will make sure to watch the traitor closely Orochimaru-sama. I won't let him get in the way of our machinations." He said as he went into a bow.

I briefly questioned my wisdom on giving authority to a man that used the word machinations without a hint of irony, but again told myself that I didn't really have a whole lot of options. Not if I wanted to leave this place for any significant amount of time.

Which really just meant I had to prioritize making sure Kabuto was completely loyal to me. Which was tricky because he'd made a life of making people believe he was completely loyal.

"How is the study on a cure for Kimimaro going?" I asked, trying to change subjects before this could get into a rant on how I shouldn't trust the two face back stabber that just wants to take Nagisa's position from him. The man was probably right on all those fronts, but I had other things I needed to take care of.

"I have gone over Kabuto's results and have to concur. It does seem as though Kimimaro's sickness comes from a problem with his bone marrow." Nagisa said with bitterness.

I had been afraid of that. Bone marrow was very hard to do anything with. Most medicine was already very filtered by the liver and kidneys and the bodies other various filtration systems before the medicine ever got close to penetrating into the bones. Chakra also tended to have trouble interacting through the bones to reach the marrow as well.

"Keep the research up. When I return I will assist in making this my highest priority." I said as dismissal.

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama." Nagisa said before bowing out of the room. As the door clicked behind him I felt a great weight fall off my shoulders. Interacting with any of the people that literally worshiped me was always so exhausting, but Nagisa was the worst of them.

It was incredibly relieving that I was going to be able to leave later that day. I stood up with a stretch before idly smoothing out my grey and purple sundress. I would have liked to have a larger of variety of colors in my wardrobe but it's apparently really hard to match outfits with the literally white skin and permanent purple lines under my eyes. I had options, but I found myself slightly more limited.

Also the sundresses seemed to really distress my minions. More so even than the turtleneck. So I took to only occasionally wearing the more feminine outfits.

They had no reaction to the purple lipstick for some reason though.

I had spent the weeks before deciding where exactly I needed to go and what exactly it was that I needed to do. I had so many plans. Even outside of gaining strength for my village I needed to get stronger myself too. I needed to be able to go toe to toe with the likes of Nagato.

After I got a report from Konoha though, I saw an opportunity unfold that made me realize I couldn't afford to wait.

A knock came at the door. "Orochimaru-sama. You called for us." Sakon asked through the door.

"Enter." I ordered.

The Sound Four were an odd bunch. They had mostly been chosen for their amount of chakra. Orochimaru needed them to be able to maintain his barriers for long periods of time. They were way too weak for them to really be body guards. They were still low rank jonin and there was a vast sea between that and any of the Sannin.

That said, the group seemed to hesitate on seeing me in a sundress. Aside from Kimimaro and Tayuya though. Kimimaro apparently accepted me as Orochitama now, or at least noticed that I wasn't killing people for treating me like a woman. Tayuya though seems to not give a single shit about who I am or what I wear. She's managed to take everything I have been throwing out with naught but a raised eyebrow.

"Ara ara. So prompt." I said as the five bowed (six if you counted Ukon), "Kimimaro-kun. I had told you that you didn't need to come to these meetings anymore. You're meant to be resting."

"My apologies. I know you intend to leave today and wanted to ensure that your personal guard were prepared for the dangers ahead." Kimimaro replied with eyes to the ground.

I promptly crossed the room to him, and gently pulled him up by his elbow. "That's no good. You have testing tomorrow. You need to be well rested because the marrow withdraw is going to be exhausting." I ordered as I spun him around and had him stand just on the outside of my door.

"But-"

"But nothing. Go rest or I'll assign Suigetsu to tattle on you."

A grimace crossed the bone user's face, which for him was paramount to outright angst.

I shut the door in his face.

"Now, lets get down to business." I said as I clapped my hands together.

"Make sure that you all pack enough clothes, food, and toiletries for the next two weeks. Kidomaru and Tayuya, bring as many sealing scrolls as you can without feeling like you are overloading yourselves. You two will be coming with me for this mission and will be fulfilling a mostly stealth and information gathering role."

"Sakon, you and Jirobo, are going to dispatch from us along the way and start heading up the coast. You are going to be capturing an as of yet unnamed target. I will be contacting you by summon as soon as I find out who it is."

"Are there any questions?" I asked as I walked back to sit on the edge of my desk.

"Yes." Ukon asked, "What's our goal? What's the major point of the operation?"

"To liberate a country from an oppressive dictator, recruit a shirtless demon, and to steal an empire." I chirped in reply.

The four exchanged wary looks.

"Right? Sounds like fun!" From my perch atop the desk I started to swing my feet back to let out a dull thud every few seconds as my sandals impacted the front face of the desk. "Oh, there will probably also be a bit where I try and un-mess the heads of a few kids in the hopes they don't one day cause the end of the world. But you guys won't really be involved with that."

Kidomaru clearly restrained himself from asking what the hell that meant.

"For this mission avoid killing anyone as well. Most of the targets that actually pose a threat to any of us are ones I don't want killed." I ordered. "Though I have a really important question for you all as well."

The four once again exchanged a nervous glance.

"Between here and Wave, what's the best restaurant for us to stop at? It's been a decade since I've eaten anything in that area."

Jirobo looked absolutely ecstatic.  
\----

Travel by ninja running was fast. Not due alone to raw speed, but the simple fact that a well trained ninja can ignore almost any obstacle in their path that isn't another ninja. Even with stopping for an hour to eat at a homey diner that served an amazing chicken ginger soup, the trip of several hundred miles took us less than four hours.

When we reached the waters separating us from the isle of Wave Jirobo and Sakon separated from us to pursue their own objective. They would go to Gato's other major shipping operation further up the coast and await further orders.

As we ran through the fog I finally caught sight of what I had been looking for.

A massive half complete bridge hung over the water. Visible even before I had managed to lay eyes on land.

"Damn. That things fucking huge." Tayuya muttered.

"And well built." Kidomaru added, "Whoever is building this wants it to stand event against a hundred exploding tags."

"Or just one angry midget and his hoard of idiots." I added.

I had always wondered why Gato hadn't just destroyed the bridge but seeing the interwove beams of iron for myself quickly gave me the answer. The bridge was so reinforced with supports that the whole thing would be almost as expensive to take apart as it was to build the damn thing.

A few seconds later we arrived on shore.

"Go." I ordered my two remaining guards, "Rendezvous on the bridge at 2200. Stay out of sight. Information gathering only. No big risks yet."

"Yes ma'am." The two sounded before heading off. I knew they weren't completely sold on my plan. They were likely wondering why we didn't just go in and forcibly take everything. The three of us together certainly had the power for it.

"Well, they'll learn." I ran off to start my hearts and minds campaign.  
\-----

Tsunami was always a bit resentful of her name. Their small island nation had experienced the disaster of the same name more than once. It was why almost no one built anything on the side of the island facing the ocean. Your home only stood a chance if it was halfway across the island from wherever the giant wave came from.

She had often asked her dad why he would name her after something that caused so much destruction. He always had the same answer.

"When I was young I saw a tsunami myself. It's power took my breath away. It made me realize the power of nature. The tsunami itself wasn't evil. It was just was. And the world quaked around it. I knew that any daughter I had I would want to have that strength too."

She was of the belief that he just thought it sounded cool.

Her father had always talked a big game, and he had always managed to make things sound much more appealing than they actually were. Which was probably an even greater strength than his ability to build his bridge. The bridge gave people hope that things could change, which was really more important than the bridge itself.

Bridges could have guards and tolls on it. The bridge wouldn't solve anything. It would just make it easier for the people to take their freedom back but at the end of the day they'd still have to fight for it.

Which is why when her father finally arrived with ninja to help protect him, in the hopes that it would spur people into being ready to fight, she kept herself from showing her disappointment. They got a cripple and three children. It was no reason to be rude to them. It wasn't their fault. They had risked their lives to keep her father safe, she just couldn't see these three little children being able to inspire the town to rise up like it would need to.

They had already saved her father's life and they were his best shot on completing the bridge though, so they weren't out of the game yet. If there was one thing she had learned over the years in a fishing village it was to not give up hope, because a sudden change of winds or a single cast of your net could bring you all your fortunes.

So she made the best of the situation. The ninja had arrived and she needed to make sure they were fed for their time here. They brought some food stuff with them, thankfully, so she could just add that touch of home made with just some herbs and spices, which could still be found in town.

It was hard to make an entire meal of peppercorn after all.

So, she had gone to town to look for some roots or herbs to help her father's protectors. However she began to notice some things amiss. The streets were almost barren, and what few people she did see wore a smile as they clutched a package close to their chest.

Smiles were a rare sight in this country.

Intrigued, she continued her journey into the heart of the town as she heard a crowd in the distance. She could also hear the reason so many people were happy.

"Food! Someone is handing out food!"

"Quick! Come to the market before it's gone! Someone is handing out food!"

The entire town seemed to be crammed into the market. Cries of thanks, need, and joy filled the air as the crowed slowly thinned one person at a time. Each person clutching a small parcel to their chest.

Tsunami could hardly believe it. Someone was handing out food? No one that had the ability to help ever seemed to care about them before hand. She wanted to believe it was true, that there were still good people in power in the world, but she suddenly found fear grip her heart as she realized who it might be handing things out.

Gato and his men were the only ones with power. The irrational thought that they were handing out poisoned food to kill them all grasped her limbs and had her push rudely through the crowd. She shoved or pulled all obstacles out her way until she burst into the gap in the middle of the mob.

The eye of the people storm held a small line of villagers that dissolved into the chaos of the crowd. However that line led to someone unlike she had ever seen before. It was a woman with skin as pale as moonlight and the golden eyes of a beast.

"Ara ara. No pushing. You have to wait in the line to get your food." The woman chastised her.

"Oh. Sorry." Tsunami muttered.

The woman in the grey and purple sundress certainly didn't look like one of Gato's men. She smiled kindly and spoke softly. She also didn't have guards with half drawn swords. All she had was herself and a large wooden crate that she was handing out to people one by one.

A child came to the the front of the line. It was Nariyuki's kid. The little girl probably couldn't remember the last time she had a full belly.

"Ah. A noble lady has come to have some of my humble food!" The pale woman said, making the young girl blush and shyly look to the ground. "Do you have someone to help you cook it?"

"Yes. Grandma can cook." The child said.

"Enjoy!" The stranger said as she handed over the brown paper package.

Tsunami didn't know the stranger, but the woman was confident, and spoke with so much authority that the throngs of desperate people listened to her as she mandated an orderly line in her circle. Gato would never let someone like that live anywhere he controlled. She effortlessly did what he required legions of goons to do.

"Excuse me." Tsunami said as she approached. "Can I help you somehow?"

"That would be great." The woman said. "It's just packages of rice and some pig's fat, so it's not heavy, but a second set of hands would speed this up."

Tsunami hadn't done what she was expecting to do with her time in town, but she certainly wasn't going to miss out on being part of something that was making the people of Wave smile once again.  
\-------

I immediately thought that Tsunami was an absolute peach of a woman. The whole town seemed to know her and respect her. She made no comments about getting an extra portion of the food for helping out, she didn't seem to want anything from me at all. Tsunami just wanted to help people desperately in need and helped me hand out food until night fall.

"Thank you for the help, Tsunami-chan. You helped that go by much faster."

"Oh no, I'm much too old for the chan." Tsunami gave a dismissive wave, "And if some of us can't assist when help comes for us, then Wave really wouldn't deserve to be saved."

"Ara ara. You are plenty young and cute enough for everyone to call you chan." I said with a wink.

Tsunami just looked confused by my response. I was barking up the wrong tree apparently.

"Do you have somewhere to stay the night miss...actually, I don't think you gave me your name?" Tsunami asked pleasantly.

"You're right. I didn't!" I responded, "And I have my accommodations for the night. Thank you for your concern though."

"Alright then." She relented easily, "Though if you need anything I live in the little house to the east, outside town. It's right on the creek. If you need anything you can find me there, or go to the bridge and ask for Tazuna. That's my father."

Oh shit. I forgot what Tazuna's daughter's name was. Plus people look really different in person than they do as 2D drawings. I had no idea that I had spent the last three hours with someone that was actually pretty important to my plans.

It had actually been my goal to try and find the bridge builder's home after handing out food. Granted, just one of many goals for the night, but I had just passed on someone taking me directly there without rousing any sort of suspicion. It appeared I'd have to do this another way then.

"So your father is the one building the bridge! I'll have to swing by in the morning to see if he or his workers need anything."

"That would be great. The promise of food will do a lot to motivate workers. I'll tell my father to expect you in the morning." Tsunami said with cheer.

"Sure." I promised, "I'll swing by your house just after dawn."

"I'll be sure to set a plate for you at the breakfast table then." Tsunami promised.

"Are you sure? I've been known to eat a woman out...of house and home."

Tsunami was clearly wondering why I put an odd pause in the middle of my sentence, the sweet innocent child. I was clearly barking up the wrong FOREST.

"It should be fine. The more the merrier." She replied.

It took all of Orochimaru's training for me to give no reaction to that.

"Sure. I'll bring more food with me." I promised with a shake of my head.

I distinctly did not offer to bring my clam nor did I offer some fish. I just calmly waved goodbye and made my way to the other side of the island. I had to do some reconnaissance on Gato's warehouses and see what exactly it was that he was shipping illegally.

The anime never really expanded on his operations and Orochimaru never considered him important enough to find out.

It was time to see what exactly was hiding in Gato's warehouses. More importantly, it was time for me to see how I could make their contents work for me.


	5. Chapter 5

By the standards of people that weren't ninjas Gato had an iron clad security. The men were all alert and mindful of their surroundings. They had overlapping lines of sight. They even had regular checkpoints and ID cards. It was very impressive for a civilian outfit. Most chunin probably wouldn't be able to get in without raising alarm.

Though the difference between a chunin and myself was the difference between a puddle and the ocean.

All the preparation and defenses that Gato had made delayed me for about three more seconds than a padlock would have. Taking a peak inside each and every shipping container took quite a bit longer, since I also had to look behind the boxes to see if they were concealing something else.

Gato was a smuggler, and those guys tended to have bolt holes in pretty much every place you can think of, and then a few you didn't.

I had been expecting some of the typical smuggling stuff. Drugs, stolen paintings, and maybe even some human trafficking. Though what I found was kunai and exploding tags. Lots of exploding tags.

I found opium and paintings too. Plus a room with handcuffs bolted to the wall. So my estimation of Gato had't been too far off. Though considering the number of exploding tags Gato had, he certainly had a ninja backer. Outside of Zabuza. I had already suspected he had some connections, since missing nin were not exactly easy to find. But this seemed to imply that there was someone even more directly involved with Gato. Someone invested in his business.

Someone I needed to look out for if I was going to complete my plans.

I couldn't very well leave such a potent weapon just sitting here without me knowing where it was going. The collateral for the island could be huge. One could actually destroy every single home on the island with the amount of exploding tags I'd found.

So I did a quick summoning and a dull brown snake blinked up at me, head tilting to the side as he looked at me.

"Yes. I look and smell a bit different than normal." I confirmed in a low tone,"But I need you to watch this crate for me and come tell me if someone moves it or takes a bunch of stuff out of it. I'll reward you with three mice upon completion of the task."

The snake flicked it's tongue out in thought before nodding it's head.

"Thank you Azuma-kun." I said as I gave his head a few loving pats.

Before the Orochi-merge I had been scared of snakes. Spiders and other creepy crawly things I had always been fairly nervous around as well. However, I now had hundreds of hours of memory of things much worse and far more disgusting, not to mention years of memories of being literally inside snakes.

It inured me to the creep factor of everything that slithers and scuttles. I even found the danger noodles to be somewhat cute, something I hadn't really thought previously.

My summons slithered under the pallet of exploding tags and I made my own swift exit. Leaving no sign of my presence. The remaining warehouses I checked weren't nearly as interesting. Some food, some clothing, a decent amount of swords, and a crap ton of what I recognized to be field rations. At each place I found food I skimmed a little of it off the top, but never took enough for it to be overtly noticeable. Warehouses always had a certain amount of shrink after all.

Soon I left the docks with my spoils and made my way to the bridge. I had underlings waiting to report after all.  
\-----

One thing I don't miss from my old world was light pollution. The passive light from a large city made it where most of the stars in the sky weren't visible, requiring one to travel to distant mountains, open seas, or vacant deserts to see the true majesty of the night sky.

That wasn't a problem most places here though. Unless you were in the capital or a hidden village the night sky was available for everyone to look up in the sky and see just how very small the human race was.

"Hey Boss Lady. We're back." Tayuya's voice came, sounding casual despite her bow of respect.

"Glad to see you both made it back safe and sound." I said as I again turned my gaze up towards the ocean of stars above me; the sound of waves lapping against the bridge below me was incredibly comforting. "Were there any problems?"

"No Orochimaru-sama." Kidomaru said, "Though a ninja wearing a hunter mask of Mist seemed to sense me for a moment, they did not raise any alarms."

Haku had sensed him? That was impressive. Kidomaru was no slouch when it came to stealth.

"I don't think you will have a problem with him for the moment. So long as you didn't linger in watching the injured Demon of the Mist too much. So avoid doing that."

"Yes ma'am." The two chorused.

"Anything of note found?" I asked.

"Yes. He's currently set to send some big shipment to a major client. None of his men are sure who it's for though. When it came up near Gato he would suddenly change the subject to the bridge."

Not surprising. The one crate of exploding tags was worth more than the entire contents of all the other shipping containers. There wasn't a way to mass produce exploding tags, so they were never cheap.

"Did anyone mention where the big package is being shipped to?"

"No. Not even the ship it's meant to go out on." Kidomaru said.

I heave a sigh and pull out my smallest sealing scroll. This particular sealing scroll had been designed to maintain the temperature of it's contents. In moments I had a kettle of hot apple tea with honey mixed in. I handed two of the cups over to my minions.

Kidomaru looked like I just asked him to kill himself, and Tayuya just gulped down her tea without tasting it.

I silently swore I'd one day get one of my people to have tea with me without them thinking it was some sort of plot.

"Ara ara, Kidomaru. It's just tea. It just seemed to be the perfect weather to enjoy warm tea under the stars."

Kidomaru followed Tayuya's example and downed the whole cup, then sat very still, as if waiting for symptoms.

"Kidomaru-kun, please just make us some hammocks under the bridge. The weather is just a bit chilly, but nothing a blanket won't solve. Tomorrow I want the two of you to find out some local legends. Something that comes out of the water and destroys ships. Every coastal town has them. Then I want you to use those legends to not let a single ship get more than a kilometre away from port." I said, switching to something they better understood. "Decide which of you will be best suited to stopping ships, and the other will continue to find more information on Gato."

"Fine. I'm willing to give this Gato bastard a black eye. Heard him talking about ninja with his men like we are just some thugs with smoke and mirrors." Tayuya spat, "I hope he chokes on his lobster breakfast."

"Lobster breakfast?" I asked.

"Yeah. The midget apparently wants a lobster breakfast and eggs with fucking caviar in the morning."

I mulled that over in my mind before deciding it would be a good idea to give Gato something to worry about other than the nearby town.

"Tayuya-chan, while Kidomaru-kun is setting things up for us, would you be so kind as to go shopping for me?" I asked the kunoichi.

I didn't want to show up to my new breakfast meeting empty handed after all.  
\------

Hatake Kakashi came to consciousness and immediately cast his senses out for any feeling of killing intent. When none was found his mind slowly began to focus on things like remembering where he was, why he was in so much pain, and what smelled like teenage boy.

He sat up with a groan, prompting a cry of "Kakashi-sensei!"

The sound helped to further his migraine, Sakura had a lot of potential in her, but sweet Icha Icha did she have a shrill voice sometimes. And no, he wasn't being biased just because of his migraine.

"Sakura, please don't scream when people are just waking up." He groaned as he looked at what was probably the bridge builder's home. Or at least a room in it. It was sparse of decoration, though he spotted two sleeping bags that explained where the teenage boy smell was coming from.

In short order Sakura had gathered the rest of her the team and the three gave him a brief report on what had happened after he lost consciousness. Well two of them gave a report. Naruto gave...

"Then after you went all 'ugh' and fell then we were all like 'hungh' and you were really heavy but I managed to carry you with a little help. Then we saw this really colorful frog, right, and Tazuna said it was poisonous so we should totally get some of it's poison. But there was this tree that looks super haunted just a way down the road-"

Well, he'd have a talk with him later on what constitutes a mission report.

Then, when Kakashi had just gotten done going over the fact that Zabuza was probably alive and the three genin had their minor little freak out over that, a woman he was guessing to be Tazuna's daughter stuck her head into the room.

"Oh! You're awake! Well I wanted to let you all know that I'm about to start on breakfast, and you should know that I invited a guest to come by, so I don't want any of you worried when a stranger comes to the door.

Kakashi found himself pausing. It wasn't unusual for people to have guests. Though the timing did have him concerned.

"Ma. Sorry for the inconvenience. Thanks for the heads up. Mind if I ask who is coming by? For security reasons." Kakashi reassured.

"You know...I don't think I got her name." She admitted.

Little alarm bells started to go off in Kakashi's head.

"Oh? How did you meet? An invitation to your home when you don't even know the person's name is a bit odd." He said with his typical lackadaisical manner.

"Yeah. But she's really nice. She was handing out food in the town to everyone. She might have even saved lots of people's lives. I told her the least I could do is have her by for breakfast." Tsunami promised.

Charity wasn't unheard of. He recalled several times in war seeing the determined faces of those that just wanted everyone to stop being in so much pain and pursued that goal with their whole hearts. Hell, the thing that kept him from just writing off all of humanity were the people handing out food to the downtrodden in war torn areas. There have always been people with hearts so big that they couldn't just watch people die of sickness and disease. However said person was a ninja or had their backing to be able to accomplish anything.

In this case, someone had gotten large amounts of food on the island without somehow using Gato's docks. That took ninja stealth, or being on Gato's payroll.

"What a nice lady!" Naruto yelled. "Is she like a priestess or something?"

"They don't have to be a priestess to be nice Naruto." Sakura chastised, "I'll be sure to help you cook for her though Tsunami-san!"

"That's what they are in all of the stories." Naruto defended.

Only Sasuke seemed at all suspicious of the coming guest as the other two bickered.

"This woman. What does she look like?" Sasuke asked.

"Oh. Well her skin was perfectly white. She had long black hair. She looked about my age. Oh! And her eyes were this golden color and were silted, like a snakes."

The bells in Kakashi's head were no longer little. They were big gonging bells that sounded for miles with a marching band as back-up. He tried to remain calm though. Tsunami was talking about a woman. Orochimaru was a man, and while the Sannin could obviously disguise himself as a woman, if he was going to put on a disguise he wouldn't leave the hallmarks of his appearance still present for all to see.

So the better question is, who would have something to benefit from having people think that Orochimaru was a giving soul?

"I'll go keep an eye out for her." Sasuke said, giving a nod to indicate it was to see if the guest was coming with anything suspicious.

"Ma, no need," Kakashi said with a wave of his hand, "Best to stick around here."

"But-" Sasuke started.

"I'd feel more comfortable if you were here to help me out." Kakashi interrupted.

Fear crossed Sakura's face. She was a smart kid and could put two and two together. Once she grew a little less naive she would be a wonder to work with. Though her skill in combat wasn't great, she had a solid foundation for however she decided to develop as a shinobi. She was smart, quick on the uptake, and knew how to follow orders. She was also absolutely not equipped for this mission. None of the genin were. And that was before someone with a connection to the most dangerous Sannin was set to visit for breakfast.

"Well I'd love to meet her." Kakashi told Tsunami, who was beginning to catch onto the tension in the room. "I'd love to ask her what brought her here, and see if she could assist us in protecting your father."

His genin immediately caught onto what he meant. She was a possible threat, but not a confirmed one. Whoever this was could just be someone who was set to throw their hat into the proverbial ring before they even showed up. The weird female Orochimaru bit was probably just part of someone's plan, he just needed more information on what was happening. It could be that this other player was also opposed to Gato, which could mean an ally. His cute little genin immediately understood what he meant with that one line.

"Eh? How's she supposed to help against Gato? She's not a ninja." Naruto asked.

Well two-thirds of his genin got it.

"There are lots of ways to assist us, Naruto. Gato will also have plenty of soldiers. If she has food she might have the resources to help get the island to make sure we don't have to fight his men and Zabuza again." Kakashi said as a half truth.

"Oh. Yeah that makes sense." Naruto said as he folded his arms over his chest and nodded his head as if he were the one who figured it out.

At least he was a cute kid.

"Tsunami-san. Do you happen to have a pair of crutches that I can use?" Kakashi asked.

"Sure. I'll go get them real fast." The woman promised as she exited the room.

"Sasuke." Kakashi said seriously, "As soon as you hear the door knock, head to the roof. Don't engage with anyone unless you hear fighting."

The dark haired boy gave a nod.

"Hey, wait, what's going on?" Naruto asked.

"Sakura, do your best to stay between Tazuna and this newcomer."

"Wait. The nice lady is bad? Why?" Naruto asked.

"Think, dumbass." Sasuke growled. "The woman had enough food to feed an entire town of people. Think about how we got here. Now how did she get that much food in?"

"I mean, she could have, um...stolen it from Gato!" Naruto shouted triumphantly.

"Yep. She could have." Kakashi confirmed, "She might be an ally. But my concern is her description. Everything but the gender matches to one of Konoha's missing nin."

"What?" Naruto asked voice soft.

"What missing nin, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked in concern, while Sasuke's face grew dark, no doubt thinking about Konoha's other S-class missing nin.

"Orochimaru. A former student of the Third Hokage."

Sasuke and Sakura had the appropriate reactions to that news. Naruto though...

"Oh. Well that makes sense then." The blonde says as he puts his arms behind his head.

"Huh?" Kakashi found himself asking.

"Well I mean the Third is a huge pervert right? So his student would absolutely know the power of Sexy no Jutsu." Naruto said with a nod.

Kakashi ran his hand down his face, "No, Naruto, I'm pretty sure that isn't what's happening here."

"How strong is this Orochimaru?" Sasuke asked. The boy had a taste of a jonin's power the other day, and it clearly showed on his face that he wanted to know if he had any chance.

Kakashi knew he couldn't let them have hope of taking Orochimaru in a fight. With that in mind he gave his response. "You remember during the bell test how I completely outclassed all of you? Well Orochimaru can do that to me."

That managed to get through Naruto's head. The boy finally seemed to realize what kind of threat this guest might pose.

"Now this is probably not actually Orochimaru. He has never been the kind of person to hand out food to starving people. He also hasn't given any indicators that he might try to pass himself off as a woman."

It was a cornerstone of fake identities and illusions that you use as much of yourself as you can get away with. It makes the job easier, so there wasn't really a reason for Orochimaru to try and disguise himself as a woman in the first place.

"Naruto, if a fight breaks out, I'll need you to flood the room in clones. As many as you can make. Then get Tazuna-san and his family out of the house."

"Yes sir!" Naruto said with a salute.

"Kakashi-san. I got you those crutches." Tsunami's voice said through the door.

A few moments later Kakashi situated himself downstairs. Seated in a corner that gave him line of sight on every window and door on the first floor. Naruto was arguing with the client's child about their merit as ninja, Sakura was assisting Tsunami with boiling some rice, and Sasuke lurked at the stairs.

Their placement was about as ideal as he could ask for. Right when he was about to assure himself that he was over reacting he felt it. A powerful presence that was making no attempt to hide itself was approaching the house at a leisurely pace.

Kakashi felt his eyes widen. The presence was less than ten meters from the door, and he couldn't sense it only moments before. While he wasn't on the level of many people that could sense chakra, he was a decent hand at it if the person wasn't actively trying to conceal themselves. It was typically polite to not hide your presence when approaching an ally, and his time in ANBU had helped him learn to pick out specific people by their chakra signature.

Most people identified a person's chakra by the feel of their chakra natures. One of Kakashi's closest comrades in ANBU he only knew by his harmony of water and earth with shockingly low levels of wind chakra. People better than he said they could also feel general personality traits in someone's chakra, though Kakashi had never managed that.

The presence Kakashi felt. The unabashed signature happily announcing who it was. He could tell they had more chakra than he could shake a stick at. He could feel that they had a strong nature of wind with a solid undercurrent of earth. All of it felt exactly like Orochimaru's chakra had to him the one time he'd met the man.

A knock came at the door, and he almost shouted at Tsunami to not open it. But he reminded himself that Orochimaru was probably not going to be stopped by three centimetres of worn wood; the entire building attached to it was equally useless.

The only hope they had was that the Snake Sannin was not here to kill or kidnap any of his genin. Should that not be the case...well then most of his plans involved using suicide techniques that would possibly buy his team a few seconds to get away. Maybe long enough for one of them to think of something clever.

After the small eternity it took for Tsunami to reach the door, Kakashi could practically feel the Shinigami's hand clutching his heart in it's cold hands. Then the door opened and-

"Hello, Tsunami-chan. I brought gifts!" A woman in a white dress with pink and purple flowers stood in the door, her hair was tied back with a purple bow. She had no visible weapons and instead carried a basket of lobster, eggs, and caviar. Yet the summoners mark on her arm and her snake eyes were rimmed with familiar purple lines.

"Ara ara. If it isn't Kakashi-kun! You've grown!"

Kakashi could only make an odd mumbling sound that turned into a wheeze as his mind processed what was in front of him.

If he didn't die, they were going to put him in an asylum for what he was going to put in the report.


	6. Chapter 6

Kakashi sounded vaguely like someone had just punctured a bagpipe. Which made it fairly clear to me that he had apparently remembered the feel of Orochimaru's aura chakra. Well not exactly. One of Oto's sensors had informed me, after much hours of study, my chakra seemed to have a lot more Yin energy in it.

The presence of more of the "female" energy did not seem suspicious to anyone that knew. At least no more suspicious than everything else I was doing.

"So glad you could make it!" Tsunami said as she approached me, though when her eyes landed on my basket of food, they widened. "Oh my! You didn't have to bring such expensive ingredients for just a little breakfast."

"Oh it's no problem, Tsunami-chan." I reassured, "If I hadn't grabbed them they would have gone to a waste."

"Don't you mean go to waste?" Naruto asked me with innocent eyes.

"Nope!" I chirped in response.

"What are you doing here?" Kakashi seemed to have recovered himself, his voice filled with steel and resolve. The man doubtlessly preparing to nobly sacrifice himself so that his students could find time to escape from the terrible murderer that brought them caviar and lobster to have for breakfast.

"Ara ara. So serious, Kakashi-kun. I'm just here to help some of the locals." I promised. Kakashi seemed taken aback by my comment.

"You expect me to believe that you, Orochi-"

"Tama." I interrupted him.

"What?"

"Orochitama." I responded, "That's what I go by now."

"See Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto yelled, "This isn't that guy you were worried about. She just has a similar name." The blonde seemed now very relaxed in the situation as he came to conclusion that, because my name was two syllables different, Kakashi was just mistaken about me.

Cute kid. People had a lot of work ahead of them to make sure he doesn't die a very early death.

Sakura, meanwhile, could clearly tell that Kakashi was high-strung but wasn't very sure on why. She also had the sense to not draw a weapon since Kakashi wasn't doing that either.

Kakashi was also clearly trying to see what angle I might have for having people call me Orochitama as well.

"That can't be all you are here for." Kakashi finally said.

"Kakashi-san." Tsunami interrupted, "I don't know what your past is with Orochitama, but if you keep acting like this to a guest I'll-"

"It's okay, Tsunami-chan." I interrupted, "He has good reason to be suspicious. And I do have another reason for being here." I admitted.

Kakashi's gaze slid towards Naruto and he stepped a bit closer.

"Oh relax. I'm not here for you or your team. I'll explain over breakfast, since I for one am famished."

Kakashi reluctantly gave a nod. Likely realizing that, at the very least, I wasn't going to kill anyone this second. That or he just came to terms with the fact that if I did want to do something there wasn't much of anything he could actually do to stop me.

"Sakura. Can you please assist in making breakfast. Naruto, go tell Sasuke to come inside."

I mentally translated the Copy Nin's words to their true meaning. "Make sure she doesn't poison us while I stand to the side and watch like a hawk."

I'm not sure why, but I found Kakashi's rampant paranoia endlessly amusing. The man had very good reason to be paranoid about me, but all of his blustering, demands, and preparation I just found cute, since we both knew that he had literally nothing to stop me.

It was probably really stressful for him though.

I idly noted that Tazuna had entered the room with a scowling Inari. The two didn't much react to my presence beyond Tazuna checking out my ass before addressing me.

"You must be the one that Tsunami told me about. I'm Tazuna. Thank you so much for what you are doing for Wave." The bridge builder greeted with a bow.

"It's nice to meet you, Tazuna-san. I'm Orochitama." I greeted back, before crouching to put me near eye level to Inari, "And who's this?"

The child shuffled his feet and looked down, not meeting my eyes and gave a mumbled, "Inari."

"Well, nice to meet you Inari-chan." I said sincerely. "I'm not very familiar with your mom's kitchen, so can you help me with making breakfast?"

In the corner of my eye I noticed Sakura beginning to relax.

Kakashi, however, seemed to be weighing the value of Tsunami's child and the lives of his team, and feeling really guilty about the answer he was coming up with.

"Kakashi. Relax. You're going to give yourself grey hairs." I joked, "And make your futile attempts at making sure I do nothing dastardly from a sitting position. A stiff wind could push you over."

"Listen bastard. Kakashi-sensei just said to come inside. You wanna know why, you ask him!" Naruto shouted as the front door swung open, admitting Ninja Jesus and Ninja Anti-Christ into the home.

"Ara ara. This must be the last member of your team, Kakashi-kun." I said as I spied the last Uchiha walk into the room.

"Sasuke." Kakashi said in a formal tone, which immediately made Sasuke on edge, "This is Orochimaru."

"Ah, Kakashi-kun, I thought I told you. It's Orochitama." I corrected as I walked into the kitchen and grabbed one of Tsunami's aprons.

Sasuke's eyes grew yet wider and he looked to Kakashi.

"You mean the man who-" Saskue started.

"Ah, well appearances can be deceiving." Kakashi said in what seemed like reassurance to most of the room. Sasuke took it for what the jounin intended. A warning to not trust the nice lady act I was giving.

"Hey, hey! Orochi Lady." Naruto interrupted, "You are a ninja, right?"

"I am." I acknowledged before turning to the counter. "Inari, get me a big bowl and a pot. Sakura, as soon as he does, can you please start cracking eggs into the bowl?"

I took charge of the kitchen from there. Ordering the various members in the house on menial tasks. From having Naruto fetch some water, to Tsunami preparing the rice, to Sakura beating the eggs, and even having Inari help me crack open the lobster's shell. All the while Kakashi sat on a nearby stool, staring with an almost unblinking gaze to see if I added anything into the mix that didn't belong there. Sasuke's gaze hardened every-time my hands strayed to a kitchen knife. Sakura constantly had to remind herself to not just get into the cooking process.

Tazuna was also staring, though for very different reasons.

Soon I was frying the rice in the beaten eggs. The already cooked lobster meat was added in. A few spices thrown on for taste, and caviar thrown in at the last second.

It was the most expensive breakfast I'd ever had.

"Well, Tsunami, if you would put these in bowls, I have some questions to answer." I said.

The other woman gave an affirmative and I settled myself at the dinner table, idly fanning myself to cool down from the stove's heat.

"So, to answer your earlier question, Kakashi-kun. I have a question in response."

Kakashi, Sasuke, and Naruto all came to the table, while Sakura hung back in the kitchen.

"What's your question?" Kakashi asked after he seated himself.

"How, exactly, do you think that Gato, a civilian, managed to get a hold of Zabuza? The man is one of Kiri's most wanted Missing Nin. Yet he managed to recruit him. How would you think such a thing could happen?"

"Zabuza could have found him, right? Because he needed money." Naruto asked.

I gave a nod, "True. But why would he do that, when Gato could then make a profit by informing Kiri on his location?"

"Someone introduced them then." Sasuke concluded.

"Ah. And I bet you know who that is." Kakashi accused, clearly thinking that it was me that introduced the two.

"Ara ara. So suspicious." I shook my head, "But no. It wasn't me. Though it is why I'm here. Gato has a ninja backer. Someone is helping him with his business. I'm very interested in who that someone is."

"So, what? You just going to go and beat it out of him? I can probably go kick his ass." Naruto smacked a fist into his palm.

"Oh no. Nothing like that." I shook my head, "I just intend for Gato to have some very bad days for the next few days until he gets panicked, and his big scary Demon of the Mist is in recovery."

Kakashi connected the dots I had laid out. "You want Gato to run off to alert his contact so you can get that contact for yourself."

"Sharp as ever, Kakashi-kun." I acknowledged. Rather than confirm the theory, this seemed to make the man question it instead.

"Why hand out the food though?" Sasuke asked. "That doesn't serve your goals."

I looked at the dark haired child, who already held such a dim view of the world that he felt the need to question acts of charity. Though I granted that it would serve him well in his chosen career path. In the ninja world there was often no such thing as too paranoid.

Which is really the only reason I've managed to get away with most of the shit I've pulled.

"Let me ask this instead, Sasuke-kun. Why is the mission to build the bridge important?"

Sasuke turned the question over in his head for a while. "They want to break Gato's monopoly on the transport to the island. He owns the docks, so this is a way for them to be able to get things another way."

I gave a nod, "That's a good theory. A good story too. You just need another way for people to get what they need and Gato's power collapses." I turned to Tazuna, who had been lingering nearby, listening to the conversation. "Tazuna. How hard do you think it would be for Gato to take over your bridge after you've built it? To make all incoming and outgoing traffic pass through his control?"

Even Naruto realized how easily the man could do just that.

"Then...why? Why go through all this trouble if Gato is just going to be able to take over it? What are we here fighting for then?" Naruto slammed a palm down on the table. Sasuke's face had grown darker.

"An excellent question." I responded. "Tazuna. Enlighten them."

The aging bridge builder heaved a sigh as the weight of the entire island settled on his shoulders. The old man collapsed at the table.

"She's right. The bridge by itself won't do anything. It's why I've managed to build as much as I have without anything happening." Tazuna admitted. "Gato doesn't care about the bridge itself. He cares about what it gives to the people. Hope."

"Hope?" Sasuke scoffed.

"Yes. One of the most powerful weapons in the world." I piped up. "Hope has been the cause of the rise and fall of more countries and causes than you can count. Hope is a powerful thing. It makes people act in ways that aren't their best interest. It makes people stand up. Put their lives on the line. It makes them rise against tyrants."

"But...why does it give hope? Why do people think it will fix their problems?" Naruto asked, scratching the back of his head in question.

"Because I told them it would." Tazuna admitted. "I told them that if it was completed we'd be able to fight against Gato. And with that promise people made plans to fight."

"So...it's not about the bridge? It's about getting people to fight?" Whiskered cheeks scrunched inwards. "Why not just make people fight then? Just waiting till a bridge is there is stupid."

"Of course it is. We're dealing with people, Naruto-kun." I responded as Tsunami and Sakura approached the table, bowls in hand for everyone.

"So that's why you were handing out food. You want to help the people be hopeful. You want them to rise against Gato." Sasuke concluded.

"Well, I did say I wanted him to feel pressured. Doing it in a way that helps people makes everything just that little bit better." I said as I took an offered bowl from Tsunami. "Now both you boys get up. Let Tsunami and Inari have a spot to sit and eat."

The two acquiesce quickly, allowing a spot for the mother and child to sit. Kakashi, meanwhile, stealthily dumped a few vials of liquid into his food. Doubtlessly something meant to detect poisons.

Meanwhile Naruto jumped up and practically danced with his bowl.

"Thanks! I'm starving." The boy began to shovel the food into his mouth.

"Sorry. I planned on having some breakfast ready earlier, but got a little tied up with doing some cleaning." Tsunami apologized.

Not being able to resist such a line, I rested an elbow on the table, placed my chin on top my fist, and gave my best husky tone, "Oh Tsunami, I can find much better ways for you to be tied up."

Tazuna froze as conflict stormed on his face. Inari and Naruto found nothing of note with my statement. Sasuke and Tsunami both looked confused. Kakashi just stared at me, as if asking me how he should react that.

The big surprise is that Sakura choked on her food.

"Really, Sakura-chan. What sort of books have you been reading?" I tutted, "Kakashi-kun. Have you been a bad influence?"

I really shouldn't have been surprised though. A girl just in puberty that constantly thinks about a boy and spends most of her time reading books? Personal experience should have warned me better than that.

Sakura, after she finished choking, gave a weak denial. "It just went down the wrong tube. I didn't know anything."

"Sure thing sweetie." I said, not wanting to keep the subject going enough for the other two to catch on. They had enough corruption, they didn't need this kind too."Well everyone eat up! You three in particular. Your sensei needs to get you all training."

Kakashi once again looked at me in shock.

"No Kakashi-kun. I can't read your mind." I stated, though that got me a flat look in response.

"Are you going to kill us after all the bad jokes? Because if so, I'd just like to skip to that part." He groused.

I gave a smirk. There is only so long a person can go on while terrified for their life before the terror becomes just a general wariness.

"Training? Training what? Is it going to be a cool ninjutsu? Oh man, we're going to learn to make things go all like swish, and then blam, and then have it go all boom!" The blond said while swinging around his now empty bowl. Gatos caviar probably didn't even really register for him.

"Ara ara. Swish, blam, and boom? All the ones I know can only do two of those max."

"Yeah, well Kaka-sensi knows a thousand jutsu, so you shouldn't feel too bad about it." Naruto comforted.

Orochimaru had a goal to learn off the the world's jutsu. He had spent a long time trying to accomplish that before his demise. The number of them he knew were well past a thousand.

"Oh? I'll be sure to pay attention then." I took one last bite of my food, finishing the food off. "Well then, please, do teach me something, Kakashi-sensei."

Kakashi smacked one hand to his face, "Naruto just-" he took a breath, "just go get my crutches."  
\------

Hatake Kakashi had come to the conclusion that Orochimaru was just trying to mess with his head. The snake summoner's comments and motions were all attempts to provoke a reaction from him. The woman was clearly watching him. Almost everything she said or did she turned to see what his reaction to them was.

The woman bit was also surprising. More surprising was that he found himself buying the idea that Orochimaru was, in fact, female. It was the small motions. The way she walked, the way she sat, the way she talked, the way she flirted. All of it was very female. This was not someone who just decided to try on some breasts to see if they could get a reaction.

Kakashi was really not sure what to do with that information.

"So what are we actually learning?" Sasuke asked, his gaze still locked on Orochi...tama walking beside an excitedly chattering Naruto.

"Aside from how to deal with unexpected interference in missions, you'll learn how to climb trees." Kakashi responded.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, though the Uchiha didn't press it. Which was good. Sasuke had really impressed him with how he was handling the Snake Sannin's appearance. All of his genin were impressing him in different ways.

Sasuke clearly picked up on Kakashi's own distrust and with just a few words knew he needed to be near a teammate and ready to act at a moments notice. He also kept very close notice on every movement that Orochitama made.

Sakura was doing a great job in prioritizing the protection of their clients. The girl was clearly unsure if Orochitama was actually a threat, but she was taking textbook perfect precautions to keep the client safe.

Even Naruto, who seemed to decide that Orochitama was his new best friend, was noticeably not bringing up any information that wasn't already discussed. Naruto was doing a lot of talking, and most of it was gathering information while giving only vague comments and well known facts in return. He probably wasn't doing it consciously, but Kakashi could already tell he'd set Naruto with all assets he needed information out of in the future.

He just hoped that his cute little genin lived through this encounter. Though he was growing sure that Orochitama wasn't going to kill them. At least not now. She probably wanted them around to draw attention, to have another thing Gato was worried about. Because he was pretty sure that part was truthful.

Gato had a ninja backer. In retrospect he was almost embarrassed he hadn't realized that himself. Kakashi was very positive that the contact was not the only thing Orochitama had shown up for though. Otherwise she wouldn't have made contact with him and his team. And there are far better ways to make someone panic than handing out food to a repressed population. He just hadn't managed to see the whole picture yet.

"Kakashi-sensei." Sakura said timidly and quietly, "Why is it that she's coming with us to train?"

"Because he couldn't leave me alone with his client." Orochitama replied loudly, causing Sakura to jump a little.

Kakashi made a note to himself to work on wordless communication with his team when they got back home.

"She's right. I couldn't leave her with the client." Kakashi admitted, he also kept quiet that the other reason was because there wasn't a damn thing he could do to stop the Sannin from doing whatever she pleased. He just hoped that once he got the kids on their training exercise she'd get bored and leave.

Kakashi cast his gaze about. They were in a clearing that would serve his purposes well enough. The sooner this started, the sooner he could go to bed and pretend this was all a fever dream.

"So, you guys are going to be learning how to climb trees."

"We already learned how to climb trees. That was like the first lesson in the Academy!" Naruto complained.

"Not like this. You are going to learn to climb trees without your hands." Kakashi began to make his way over to a tree when a white hand reached out to stop him.

"How about you lets someone not suffering from Chakra exhaustion do this, hm?" Orochitama said before calmly walking herself up the tree and out onto a branch.

Kakashi marveled slightly at the level of chakra control she was also showing by keeping her dress and...other bits still in place.

"The tree climbing exercise is one of great benefit to a genin. It helps train your chakra control, which can in turn be used have you move faster, hit harder, and of course walk on any surface." Orochitama said.

She was willing to give lessons to his genin? That was worrisome. Was that why she was doing this? To have one of his team go off with her and think she was just some nice ninja lady?

It wasn't a horrible plan actually. All three of his students would be very attractive recruits for someone like Orochitama. If this was all just part of a recruitment drive for his students...

Kakashi suddenly become very worried he'd be seeing a whole lot more of Orochitama.

Doing his best to not show his disquiet on his face, he threw three kunai into the ground. "Give it a try yourself, use a kunai to mark your progress. A running start will help too."

The three genin did as instructed.

"As you run you have to be careful with how much chakra you are using through your feet. Too much and you'll break the wood. Too little and you won't stick."

Naruto was the first to fall. He had gotten a few steps up the tree before his feet began to slip out from under him as he used too little chakra. Sasuke just about reached the first branch when the bark cracked under him.

Meanwhile Sakura was taking a light jog to the upper reaches of the tree with seemingly no effort.

"Ara ara. Impressive Sakura-chan. I've only ever seen one person manage to do that well on their first try." Orochitama congratulated.

Kakashi managed to contain his own shock. He knew that Sakura would do better than the other two, her control was impressive, but he didn't think she'd manage it on her first try.

"Good job too Sasuke-kun. That's a little bit farther than I managed the first time I tried this." She complimented further.

"Naruto-kun, you might want to burn some chakra off first before you try again."

That had Kakashi coming up short.

"Huh?" Naruto asked, "What does that have to do with being able to climb the tree?"

For once, Kakashi found himself agreeing with his student. He wasn't sure why Naruto would want to do that either.

"You have lots of chakra Naruto-kun." The woman said as she detached from the tree-branch and flipped to land in front of the boy.

Kakashi was positive that the flash of satin he got was entirely intentional and it made him very uncomfortable.

Orochitama gave a pat to the boy's head, "So much energy in such a small package means that your chakra has a higher density than most people's."

"Density?" Sakura asked from her spot on a nearby branch.

"Yeah. Imagine most people's chakra is like sugar water. You get it flow how you want by making the right path for it. But Naruto here is more like syrup. He'll have to work even harder to get his chakra to move how he wants it to, but his is so potent that just a dab of it will do for most techniques."

Kakashi stared. He hadn't known that. He wasn't entirely sure it was actually true, but from what he understood of chakra theory it might just be. It changed everything about how he planned on teaching Naruto. At least it would after he got someone who he actually trusted to confirm the theory.

"So using a bunch of chakra first will help me burn through it and make my chakra easier to use because it makes it more like sugar water?" Naruto asked uncertainly.

"No. More like...it changes to warm syrup instead of cold syrup. Once you have your charkra moving and pumping it's going to be easier to use. I'm simplifying things a lot here, but the net result is that you will find that the longer a fight goes on, the better you'll do." Orochitama said as she slightly adjusted the bow in her hair.

"Whoa! I get better and better during a fight? I knew it!" Naruto said with a fist pump, "Hey, how come you didn't tell me this stuff Kakashi-sensei?"

"I uh-" Kakashi was hesitant to just say he didn't know. He almost began with a defense that this was based off of chakra theory that only people that worked in laboratories knew when he was cut off.

"Naruto, cut him some slack. No one can know everything. And your sensei is pretty famous. He's one of Konoha's top jounin and he is one of the Fourth Hokage's two living students."

She defended him to his students? Why would she-

Wait.

Kakashi's thoughts came to a halt.

"What? Kakashi was a student of the Fourth?!" Naruto yelled.

She just said-

"Really Sensei?" Sakura's question and Sasuke's brief sound of being impressed were entirely ignored.

Two.

"What do you mean one of two-" Kakashi asked as his blood ran cold. His voice sounding distant even in his own ears.

"Ara ara." Orochitama interrupted, "Look at the time. I have another appointment I need to get to. I'll have to pick this up with you later, Kakashi-sensei. Thanks for the lesson. I learned a lot." The devil of a woman said as she vanished.

Kakashi leaned against the tree behind him and tried to catch his breath. She was lying. She had to be. He'd assume she was until he received further proof.

Though a voice in his head whispered something he just couldn't shake.

Telling him that would only serve a purpose to Orochitama if it was true.


	7. Chapter 7

I knew going in that I would say something to hint at Obito. Before I had even approached Tazuna's house I wanted to get him thinking in that direction. However, when the words left my mouth, when I said that there were two students of the Yondaime Hokage still alive, I couldn't say the rest.

Kakashi's face, even mostly covered, flashed through so many emotions. Guilt, rage, sadness. All of them were so powerful on his face I immediately knew that I couldn't turn around and say that same person was also responsible for the death of his second father.

Realistically, Kakashi wouldn't believe me if I'd said all that anyway. The idea in his head of who Obito was would not be able to match up with who he had become. I'd give more hints before they left Wave for home, but I certainly couldn't give the whole story.

Not yet.

In the meantime I needed to start on one of my other major objectives.

To seduce a man into going home with me.

Within moments of travel I arrived at Gato's headquarters. A massive structure in the middle of the woods. The only reason I could think of for that is that the man didn't have his base of operations at his docks was to make it harder for angry mobs to get to him.

The woods actually made it easier to approach undetected. Though that was a bit of bias from a Konoha shinobi. We were trained to navigate trees until it was second nature, and that training didn't go away. Even from soul absorption apparently.

The approach to his hideout was noticeably easier as well. Either a different person set up the security for the docks, or Gato was confident no one would attack this location. Regardless, it was a cakewalk for me to open a window and slip into my desired room.

It was only slightly more difficult to bat the senbon needles out of the air and grab a slender wrist before it could jam a weapon into my throat.

"Ara ara. You must be Haku-chan." I greeted as I shifted my grip to a handshake. "I'm here to speak with your master."

"I won't let you touch-" the androgynous voice responded before being cut off.

"Haku." A deep baritone interrupted, "Stop. I will hear what she has to say. Besides, if she wasn't here to talk, you'd be dead."

A hiss sounded making Haku glance down. A black mamba had its mouth centimetres from her leg. With my grip on her arm, she wouldn't have been able to get away if it tried bite her.

It wouldn't, because I told it not to bite anyone unless I specifically ordered it to, but ninja need these "look how badass I am" moments when they meet each other.

It was stupid, but apparently showing that you can kill them is pretty much the only way to make a ninja respect you on initial meeting. That or just showing yourself as a really hard person to kill, though that involved more steps.

"Zabuza! It's a pleasure to meet you." I released Haku and gave a curtsy.

The Demon of the Mist looked up at me from his spot in the bed. I wasn't sure if his skin was always so pale, or if it was from being clinically dead for so long, but the man's complexion was almost the same as my own.

His hair was ruffled and messy, and his sheets were perfectly straight, showing he hadn't really been moving at all since he got into the bed. Everything spoke of weakness but his eyes. His eyes looked at me without fear. But with a grim acceptance. If I was here to kill him, Zabuza would have no hard feelings about it.

"Who are you? You have snakes. You look like Orochimaru. And I know you aren't Mitarashi. So, who are you?" Zabuza asked.

"Orchimaru is no more. I am Orochitama." I replied.

Zabuza stared at me for a moment, analyzing my response for deeper meaning. I kindly waited for him to finish his thought process. It didn't take long.

"And what do you want?"

"I want you to come home with me and help me make little ninjas."

Zabuza quirked an eyebrow and notice Haku take a glance at their master, obviously asking what to do with that information.

"I don't do that. Though I know a brothel that could accommodate." Zabuza replied.

"Ara ara. That's not what I meant at all." Though it was what I meant intended to imply. I valued a sense of humor in my employees and his dry sarcasm was appreciated. It made me more certain of my decision. "No, what I meant was I have some ninja's that need training, and missions that need doing. Someone of your strength would be of a great help to me."

"Have you not heard how I got the name Demon of the Mist? Go away. I'll slaughter any students you have." Zabuza said dismissively.

"Yes. I've heard of it. And I've seen some of your mission reports as well. Near the end of your time in the Bloody Mist you had one of the highest records for missions where your comrades returned alive." I said as I cocked my head to one side, "Then you tried to overthrow a tyrant and were kicked out for your efforts. You then picked up a stray and gave them life skills and molded them into being a splendid shinobi. Your resume is impressive."

"So you want to be my boss because I tried to kill my old boss and because I've shown I can bend people to my will?" Zabuza asked.

"Yes. If I'm a tyrant, feel free to rebel again." I said with a nod, "And my people could use some bending. Just don't break them, or I'll be mad."

Zabuza stared at me, deciding how serious I was. I gave a serene smile in response. Finally, Zabuza started to give a deep chuckle.

"Sounds interesting. If you're good for the cash, I might be interested. But I'm on a job right now, so I can't. After the bridge builder is dead we could talk terms." Zabuza promised.

"I don't suppose I could make you drop the contract?" I asked, "It's not time sensitive, but I'd like you to start as soon as possible. Plus fighting the Copy Ninja again will probably not be good for your long term health."

"It might not." Zabuza acknowledged. "But I accepted a contract. I don't give up part way." Professional pride shined in his eyes.

"Ara ara. Lines like that just make me want you more, Zabuza-kun." I replied. "Though would you feel the same if you found out Gato means to betray you at the end of your contract?"

Haku actually gasped. Zabuza shot them a reproachful look.

"If you have proof, I'll kill him myself. If not I will continue my job as intended. If he tries to betray me I'll take my money from his corpse." Zabuza responded simply. The man had a clear picture of who he was and what he was about. It was respectable.

"Well you stand by your principles. If you didn't I wouldn't want you." I stated firmly, though the assassin frowned.

"Ninja are tools. They don't need principles." Zabuza spoke with conviction.

"Then maybe this isn't such a good match after all." I responded as I began to walk towards the window. "Tools don't build nations. People do."

Zabuza's eyes widened. The talk of building a nation was no small thing. The balance of power in the world was an unstable one. Zabuza wasn't stupid. He knew that signing on for my proposal would be very likely to end in war.

Though if I had my way it would only be a little one.

"If I'm too much for you Zabuza-kun, it won't break my heart for you to say you aren't interested."

"Hatake Kakashi is too much of a threat to bother worrying about your offer right now. If I'm alive in a week I'll give you my answer then."

I gave a small laugh. "Well I can't begrudge you that." I turned to jump out the window but paused and turned to Haku. "I'm sorry. Do you have a preferred gender, Haku-chan?"

Haku, wearing a mask, gave no apparent show of emotion.

"No?" Haku's response sounded like a question.

"We'll talk more." I promised before hopping out the window. I had things to do, and only so many hours in the day to fuck with Gato's head after all.  
\-----

Zabuza watched the woman go. Leaving both himself and Haku alone.

"Zabuza-sama. Who was that?" Haku asked.

The Demon of the Mist contemplated the question for a moment before responding, "Someone dangerous."

His apprentice removed the Hunter-nin mask to expose worried eyes. "Do you think she intends harm on you?"

"No." Zabuza responded. "But I don't think she's saying everything either. She was testing us just as much as she was offering us a job."

"Testing for what?" Haku asked.

"I don't know, but she was good at it. She kept giving responses specifically to unbalance someone. She was able to control the conversation because she kept making sure we were still figuring out what she meant by the time she said something else, unless she boiled things down to a simple yes or no answer."

Zabuza had to hand it to the woman. She knew the right way to distract. There was potential double meaning to everything she said. She purposefully took advantage of a ninja's habit of looking deeper into another person's words, and said things that could be interpreted in so many ways it could make one dizzy. She only made two things absolutely certain though.

This Orochitama wanted him alive and well for a job, but also wanted to challenge his view of the world. In negotiation it made no sense so directly oppose someone's world view. She even made working with her contingent on a change of belief.

Though it might be a ploy to make them think she cared for them personally. A lie many villages and employers tell. He'd play along with her whims for now, if only to solve the dangerous puzzle presented to him.

"Haku. Don't fight that woman." Zabuza ordered.

"Yes, Zabuza-sama. I won't start anything with her."

"No." Zabuza corrected, "Even if she comes for my life, don't try to stop her."

"What!? Why?" Pain flashed across his apprentice's face.

"There is no sense in you dying too."

"I am a tool for you, Zabuza-sama. It's my job to-"

"We are tools, Haku." He agreed. "However, there is a difference be a tool used and a tool wasted. She is strong. I know you felt her chakra too. She was making no attempt to hide it from us. She would kill me, and she would do it quickly. You dying too would be a waste."

"I can't accept that, Zabuza-sama." Haku argued.

"Not my problem." He grunted in response. Though a small part of his mind pointed out that tools didn't argue back at those that wield them. Just as tools also don't care about what they create.

Besides, all of that was a distraction. He had other, more important, things to think about.

"Run me through the fight again. When did my behavior change again." Zabuza ordered. He had a Copy Ninja to prepare for.  
\-----

With my meeting with Zabuza behind me I started on my next task, which was thankfully very close by. Gato's office. I needed access to all his paperwork. And his booze cabinet, because I had found it very difficult to find any alcohol other than sake here. At the current rate I'd have to go find some agave and start making my own.

Finding the office wasn't hard, even if I hadn't had Tayuya's directions. I just had to look for a really big room with really gaudy furniture and with a massive window.

Gato was many things. Subtle wasn't one of them.

I quickly riffled through the man's files. They had plenty of information on employee records and shipping logs, but those weren't what I was interested in. My real target took a bit longer to find. Gato's transaction books.

Those I found in a secret compartment in the desk. I flipped to the most recent pages and began scanning through the contents, looking for days where unusually large transactions were made. The amount of shinobi weapons and exploding tags he had would lead to single transactions that were much larger than his normal day to to day stuff.

I was quick to find the number that had one more zero than all the other entries had. No name was tied to the transactions, simply an account number. Cross referencing the days of the deposits to the shipping manifests didn't show any consistent drop off location. So the client was paying for things to be sent to many different locations.

That didn't answer much. Any giving missing-nin or hidden village had multiple locations they wanted to stockpile weapons. Though the sheer number of weapons implied that this wasn't a lone ninja.

"Couldn't just leave a convenient piece of paper saying the name of your mysterious client out and about, could you?" I grumbled. It was then I took a brief moment to raid the liqueur cabinet as well.

It was equally as disappointing.

"Can you people make any alcohol out of something other than rice?"

I did grab a bottle of umeshu, which was at least also made with plums.

I returned to the desk and looked through the files once more. I looked through the transactions again. This time not looking at the amounts, but the names associated with the payments.

"There you are."

In the books there was another account that was only a number. It also made a much smaller payment than the big ticket ones I was looking for at first. But they were linked. One small payment then several weeks later, a larger one.

"A down payment." I acknowledged.

Back the shipping manifests I found another pattern. Every time a down payment was made, there was a delivery from the Land of Lighting. It wasn't damming evidence, but it strongly implied Kumogakure were the ones backing Gato.

"I guess now I just have to see how much they actually care." I commented as I left the room.

I did not clean up all of the files behind me.  
\------

Gato was very confident that he was an extraordinary man.

Objectively it was true. He had come from being a nobody, some random fisherman's son, to being one of the richest men on the continent. From being someone who didn't even have a family name, to being someone who had business meetings with Daimyo. All thanks to the fact that he knew how the world worked.

The strong lived, the weak got crushed. Same way the big countries with their hidden villages kept every small country from growing too large. The same way that a lord took the wealth of his subjects so that none could challenge him. The same way ninjas killed everyone in a little shopping district, including his mother, just to get at the one ninja in hiding. Even the same way his dad came home drunk and beat the shit of him to blow off steam from work.

It was just the way the world worked. You need to strength to take what you want, and you need to use that strength to keep anyone from taking it from you.

That was the failure that finally ended his father. His father failed to stop Gato from hiding enough money to buy a knife. And he certainly failed to stop Gato from stabbing him in the throat while he slept. It was a powerful lesson. One Gato kept to this day.

You can't allow anyone to challenge your strength, or you'd find a knife in your throat. So that's what he did with his business. If he got a rival, he exploited their weaknesses, and if that didn't work a blade in the night worked just as well. Everyone had a vice and way to get to them.

However, as Gato stared at his office, piles of paperwork tossed about and his secret ledger of his accounts left out in the open, Gato knew that he wasn't strong enough.

He hadn't been strong enough since he'd started accepting contracts from ninja. They were stronger than him. There was nothing he could do to stop them. He could probably have his men handle one or two of them, if they ganged up together. Most of the strength of ninja was preparation and illusion. But the raw resources and reach of a ninja dwarfed what he could accomplish.

All just because they were born in a hidden village.

"Going to business with ninja was a mistake." He said as his blood ran cold. His most personal room, even more than his bedroom, had been violated.

All because those damn ninja had made him an offer he couldn't refuse. That or because the stupid ninja that they had helped him hire couldn't kill one guy and his three kids. There were forces at play that went above him, that he had no control over.

He hated it. He swore no one would have that kind of power over him again.

"Yama! Kodo! Get your asses in here! What the hell is this! How did you two dumbasses let someone in here!"

There wasn't anything he could do about the ninja. Shinobi had to deal with shinobi. In the meantime he could make sure that no one challenged him outside that.

"Next time one of you screwups misses something like this again, I'll have you whipped!"

He would leave his contacts out of this for now though. The last thing he needed was more ninja running around.


	8. Chapter 8

Kabuto prided himself on his mental fortitude. He'd been through things that would collapse the minds of lesser men. His mind was a precision machine designed to deal with stress and maintain an unfailing logical outlook.

His very logical mind proposed that just killing all the scientists was probably the most efficient way of dealing with his current stressors.

"I must have just misunderstood you. Your current project is is one designed to research sound-waves effects on solid objects. Correct?" Kabuto asked.

"Yes." The scientist agreed happily.

"And you had decided that the best way to go about that was to test one of the pillars supporting the ceiling of your lab. When you were testing the destructive power of sound waves." Kabuto clarified.

The dust covered scientist nodded his head. "It was a resounding success."

"Success? You collapsed the ceiling of three different labs. Including your own." Kabuto continued, hoping the man would connect the dots. "You killed two lab assistants!"

"I know! Imagine how great it will work against our enemies!"

"I am. It's saving your life."

"Huh?" The scientist asked.

"Your funding will go towards the rebuilding of those labs until they have been remade. You will also have no assistants until such a time that Orochitama-sama decides otherwise." Kabuto said then gave a wave. "You're dismissed."

The scientist looked as if Kabuto had just slapped him in the face. Kabuto couldn't bring himself to care.

"You can't-"

"Get out." Kabuto ordered.

The scientist left whilst muttering under his breath. Something resembling joy fizzled in the lump of coal Kabuto called a heart. One lone idiot wouldn't ordinarily be enough to break Kabuto's charade of polite cheer. But this appointment wasn't the first of it's kind. He'd had five others just like them. That same day.

Kabuto immediately knew why it was so bad too. Orochitama was gone. And with her gone many scientists thought they could get away with things, or that Kabuto would give different answers than Orochitama did. They were like toddlers who found out mom wasn't coming home for a few hours.

"Um, Kabuto-sama. I'm here to put in a request." A mousy woman with purple hair said from his door.

Kabuto put on his best smile. "Yes, Ayasugi-san. What is the request for?"

"Oh. Um. You probably have been getting this a lot, but I'm here to apply for human testing." The woman practically whispered.

"I'm sorry Ayasugi-san. We currently aren't doing any human testing unless you can provide ample research on-" Kabuto began.

"On animal test subjects. Yes. I've done that. Here." The woman handed over a large stack of papers she had been holding. Kabuto held his surprise. He had actually assumed the large amounts of papers with her were just going to be more requests. He took her notes and began to flip through them.

"Your research is on sustained area of effect genjutsu?" Kabuto asked. The research he was seeing so far was well organized and well thought out.

"Yes!" The woman piped up, suddenly very energetic. "It uses a seal array to cast a genjutsu over an area and casts it again a minute later, and repeats until it runs out of energy. We need human test subjects to find out how strong the illusion actually is though. No possibility of unintended loss of life as well."

It all looked like everything was in order. This was something that legitimately needed human testing to pass it on to the next stage. As long as the illusion was not too mind scaring this was something that needed to go on to the next stage.

"I have to pour over your research some more, but if all I've seen so far is correct it looks like you will be approved for human testing in the next week or so."

The woman blushed and clapped her hands together. "Oh good! It's been so long since I've heard a human's squeals of terror." She stated in the same shy tone.

The woman turned and skipped out of the room.

Kabuto paused and looked down at the report. "I'll pass it on to Orochitama-sama when she gets back." He stated before writing a note on the report that the head scientist needed heavy amounts of supervision in her human testing.

Kabuto also returned to his own research. He wasn't sure why Orochitama would want to have LESS control over the Edo Tensei summons, but working the theory was proving more and more that the act should be easy.

Kimimaro's sickness was proving far more difficult. It was like the marrow in the bones was fighting against him, producing blood that the body regarded as an enemy. It wasn't a simple case of something needing healing or a virus needing to be purged. The body was fighting itself.

There was the possibility of immune suppressants but that ran the risk of-

"Kabuto-sama. I want to file a request." The dusty scientist from earlier said from his door.

Kabuto slowly looked up from his research notes and pushed his glasses up his nose. As he very calmly asked, "Is it a request for human test subjects?"

"Yeah! I hear you approved someone else's request, so with my recent success I figured-"

"Get out."

Word was getting out that he approved a case for human testing. Meaning many would be trying to get their own projects approved for it. Kabuto deeply hoped that Orochitama came home soon. He understood why she was so insistent on leaving.  
\----

"It's nice to get out and visit the ocean." I said with a stretch of my arms and a deep breath of salty air.

"It...is nice." Kidomaru stated reluctantly.

Of all of my bodyguards Kidomaru was the one who seemed most resistant to my changes, and clearly had the most doubts on me actually being his boss. Which was respectable in it's own way. It meant he had loyalty and a good enough sense to know that I was not the same person I was before.

All the more reason to keep him on team Orochitama.

"We're not going to talk about are feelings are we? Cause, if so, I'm fucking gone."

Tayuya, on the other hand, had no problems at all accepting me as boss and would probably follow me for as long I was stronger than her and could help her gain power. She was also the first to realize that I wasn't so strict on the showing of respect.

Though Orochimaru wasn't huge on the respect thing. He more just liked having an excuse to kill people and strike fear into his subordinates hearts.

"No Tayuya-chan. We don't have to talk about our feelings." I confirmed, "But do keep an open mind about it. It's not healthy to bottle everything up."

Tayuya looked at me like I'd placed my pants on my head and announced I was queen of the universe.

Apparently your superiors telling you to talk about your problems was uncommon in the ninja world. Which really went a long way to explaining all of its...everything.

"Kidomaru-kun, what have you decided to do for keeping the ships in port?" I asked

Despite my attempts to stay informal Kidomaru snapped to attention. "I did some digging. There are local legends about a monstrous crab named Takashi. It's shell is said to be colored gold. With my golden web and and a few of my spider summons I could probably make some sailors think the ocean spirits want them to stay in port."

I gave a nod of agreement. Local legend or not. I'd stay in port if a giant gold sea spider was climbing up onto ships.

"Tayuya? Any more word on Gato?"

"For one, the midget hates ninja. A lot. If he's got ninja backers, it's not by choice. Or they just offered him too much money."

"Hm. So do you think pissing him off or scaring him is the best option for getting him to run for help?" I asked, the two options were pretty interconnected though. And things that scare men like Gato usually made them mad too.

"I'd go angry. He's a spiteful one." Tayuya confirmed.

"Anger it is. Keep tabs on him. Do as many small things showing interference as you can. But do it in a way that doesn't seem dangerous. If he gets too scared he might just try to run instead."

"Sure. So break out the laxatives and have his men see some spooky shit. But keep anything away from him personally." Tayuya concluded.

"Sounds about correct." I agreed. "Try not to have anything blow back on the civilians. We want their good will when this done."

"Why?" Kidomaru asked, "Why does their good will matter? They are civilians. They can't do anything anyways."

I stopped myself from giving any sort of response based on morals. "Civilians may not be able to harm us, but they can be a pain in the ass. It's far better to have them be useful. If they are happy they won't complain when we do stuff like charge them taxes, have them build buildings, or farm our food. A happy people are a people not planning to betray us to our enemies."

Kidomaru gave that some thought. It appears I was challenging the man's world views.

"You both did well. I got to Gato's documents. Whoever is supplying him with ninja tools is distributing from a port in Lightning. So it might be Cloud." I said.

"Makes sense. Cloud is the nation most ready to start a war right now. They could be using things to try and muscle into Mist." Tayuya commented.

"Yes. Though beware that it could be anyone with port access." I warned, "I glanced through his employee files as well. I haven't managed to find anyone Gato has as a second in command. All the files in his office were dock workers and his thugs."

"Your plan kinda hinges on finding his second in command. Any plans for that boss?" Tayuya asked.

"I suppose I could try and get close to him. Get him to talk." I said with a grimace.

"Ah...yeah, not likely there boss lady." Tayuya said with a shake of her head, "You are a little old for his tastes."

I looked down at myself. "I look like I'm in my late twenties."

"Yeah. And Gato apparently doesn't touch any girl over twenty-one."

"How young is his preference?" My voice kind but layered in killing intent.

"Oh. No not that bad." Tayuya stated, "I mean, he's a fucking monster, but he seems to still want them to be adults."

I suppressed a scowl. Adult in this world, for civilians, was still only sixteen.

Still, someone getting close to him was probably a good idea. I looked considerately at Tayuya for a moment. Then dismissed the thought. A henge should work fine.

"Find out his likes Tayuya. Hair length. Eye-color. The works. This isn't something I want to do more than once." I ordered.

"Sure. I know the guys he sends to look for girls. I'll put up a disguise near them." Tayuya nodded her head.

"In the meantime, I have dinner plans." I said brightly.  
\-----

Hatake Kakashi had not had a very restful day. He lay there exhausted yet unable to sleep. His mind racing as he could only think on Orochitama's words. One of his teammates was still alive. Unless Orochitama was just saying things to get under his skin one of his two teammates was alive. Damned if he could figure out which one though.

He'd shoved his arm through Rin's chest and Obito was so crushed not even Tsunade would have been able to keep him alive. Both seemed impossible to have survived.

Kakashi also wasn't a fool. If one of them were alive they had either gone through hell in the last few years or didn't want to come home at all for some reason or another. He wasn't sure which option he liked less. Though based on their last interaction, it might truly be just a game to Orochitama. It was so hard to see what was real and what was fake around the pale enigma.

He was just thankful that the Snake Sannin probably had no plans to stick around.

A knock came from the door. Kakashi's body screamed at him as he stood up and traveled to the door. The sound of the door opening showed that Tsunami reached it first.

He mentally made a note to speak with her about security.

Then he felt the chakra. His eyes widened.

"Ara ara. Tsunami-chan. As lovely as ever. I thought you might enjoy a nice dinner. I brought some wagyu beef."

"Oh god, why?" Kakashi gasped.

"Hello Kakashi-kun~" the voice of Evil herself said, "You really should be resting."

"Why are you here?" His voice did not crack like a teenager.

"Dinner." The woman said, gesturing to a basket of food. "Plus I'm going to be making a soup for you. Something to help with the chakra exhaustion. Since you'd only eat it if I made it in front of you I figured I might as well bring dinner for all your students too."

That couldn't be it. Unless her goals needed him to beat Zabuza. Though he wasn't sure what that would get the woman. Plus she kept coming with all of these luxury goods for food. No one brought those on missions. The only likely place for someone to get these would be from-

"Are you feeding us food you stole from Gato?" He asked incredulously.

"Kakashi-san, that's not very-" Tsunami began.

"Of course I did." Orochitama replied, "I don't exactly keep caviar and wagyu beef on me."

Tsunami looked at Orochitama in shock.

"Why would you do that?" Tsunami asked.

"I told you. Gato has a ninja backer. I need him to run for help without getting him so spooked that he just runs. That means inconveniencing Gato's life in hundreds of small petty ways every day."

"Petty ways?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah. Petty. Like stealing all his toilet-paper. Removing the bookmarks from his books. Steal his food an hour before his meal time. Put ginger in his soap. Small things." Orochitama admitted freely.

Kakashi found a new mission in life. This woman could not be allowed to spend time alone with Naruto.

"Oh. Well...I guess it's okay if it's Gato." Tsunami finally decided. "You are welcome to join us for a meal any time. It's nice have another woman around."

"Oh, I can show you all kinds of benefits to having another woman around." Orochitama replied with wagging eyebrows.

Tsunami clearly knew the eyebrows were meant to signify something as an innuendo or joke, but was also clearly confused on what she thought was a joke.

Kakashi could at least comfort himself with the fact that he could at least laugh while he trembled in fear.

"Here. Make sure I'm not poisoning you." Orochitama said as she handed over a basket of roots and vegetables. Kakashi carefully picked through the basket, feeling for any needle marks, smelling for anything out of place, and looking for any sort of oils that may have been applied.

It probably wasn't poisoned. Orochitama could just kill him at her leisure. But if a ninja just ate something that a known enemy gave them without checking it for poison then that ninja probably deserved to die.

"You're stealing from Gato." A young voice said. The child in the household looked up at one of the most dangerous people in the world and gave a grumpy, "You're going to get people killed."

Orochitama turned to give the child sad eyes. "Yes. I am. People are going to die."

"Orochitama!" Tsunami gasped in shock.

"It's true." Orochitama said with a shake of her head. "Gato is a monster that jumps to death as a solution for all his woes. I won't say more if it upsets you, Tsunami-chan, but I don't want to lie to your son either."

Kakashi watched in curiosity. The woman was either a hell of an actress or she actually felt something for these two. If she was just here to mess with people it served no purpose to be honest and talk with a child like this. They were civilians. They didn't really matter.

"I-" Tsunami hesitated, "I know. But I don't want him to-"

"I get it." Orochitama said, "I'll stop. But pretending something didn't happen can hurt your son just as quickly."

Conflict stormed on Tsunami's face.

"She's right." Kakashi reluctantly said. It wasn't his business, but a tired man with a face so much like Kakashi's own who insisted on not speaking about his pain wouldn't let him say nothing. "Just like physical wounds, emotional wounds can grow infected and fester."

Tsunami glanced at her son, who looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Go hold your son for a bit, Tsunami-chan. I'll start on dinner." Orochitama stated.

As the pale woman moved to the kitchen and his host went to another room with her son, Kakashi found himself reconsidering things. If this was all an act, the act wasn't intended just to hurt them. Everything being done was to show a kind, gentle, and giving soul. It was the act of someone trying to show they could be trusted. Not just by them. This was long term. For the people of Wave, and for Konoha. If it was just about getting one of his genin she would have gotten to them. They were young enough to be made loyal with enough unsavory methods. She didn't do all that. She came to where he was to act kind. Near the jounin. The one that represents Konoha.

Orochitama was trying to establish a peaceful relationship with Konoha. Giving intel. Providing mission support. Showing care. Or at least wanting them to believe that.

This probably wasn't just about a single goal in Wave. She doubtlessly was going to be here anyway, but was coming here specifically to speak with him. Which would go in mission reports. Which the Hokage would read.

"I need a drink." Kakashi concluded.

"Ara ara, that's bad for Chakra exhaustion."

This was going to be a long road to recovery.


	9. Chapter 9

"I'm definitely getting higher up the tree than you, ttebayo."

"You wish. I still have a solid meter on you." The smug bastard responded, trying to hide the fact that he was short of breath.

"Are not. I got to the fourth branch up. You were only on the third." Naruto argued back.

"On a different tree. Not all trees grow branches in the same way. That's not how trees work dumbass."

That was probably true, but there's no way Naruto would admit to that. Sasuke had a big enough head that he didn't need Naruto giving him any ideas.

"Yeah, well, I spent most of my time using up my chakra beforehand. You were practicing longer." Naruto said with a sniff.

"What ever you need to say to make yourself feel better." Sasuke said as he tried to pull a little ahead.

"So, ya think we'll see Orochi Lady for dinner tonight too?" Naruto asked as he stepped forward to be just slightly ahead of Sasuke.

Instead of trying to run ahead, Sasuke stopped in his tracks.

"Why would you think she's coming back?" Saskue asked in disbeleif.

"Oh. Well she seemed like she was having a lot of fun this morning, so she'd probably come back, right?"

Sasuke scoffed, and Naruto was proud of himself that he didn't just slug him right then.

"Naruto. You know that lady's dangerous, right?" Sasuke asked in disbelief.

"Eh? How's she dangerous?" After all, the woman brought them food and helped teach them. Plus she was pretty and wore a frilly dress. How could she be dangerous?

"Kakashi is afraid of her." Sasuke said. "If he's afraid, we should be too."

"What? No way Kakashi-sensei is afraid of that lady." Naruto said dismissively.

"Just because she doesn't seem dangerous doesn't mean she isn't. It's the people that can make you trust them that are the most dangerous. Don't let your guard down around her."

Naruto came up short. His teammate sounded super serious. Which made him rethink things. Naruto could admit to maybe possibly not being the most observant person around and there was possibly maybe some merit to listening to Sasuke's advice a little bit. A ninja should always be prepared anyways.

"Fine." Naruto concluded, "But if we make it through this whole mission and she doesn't try to do something you'll treat me at Ichiraku after the mission!"

"Seriously? If she tries something we'll die."

"Psh. Right. Sure. Maybe she'll kill us with her hairbrush or her hair ribbon." Naruto scoffed. The lady didn't even carry any weapons on her.

"Then if I win you clean up after team practice every day for a week when we get back." Sasuke scoffed. "Maybe that will at least make you take this seriously."

Ha. Bastard probably thought he was getting the better end of that deal, but he'd never seen how much Ichiraku Naruto could put away!

"Deal! Also, last one back to the house is a loser." Naruto yelled over his shoulder as he ran. Sasuke only a moment behind.

Sasuke was gaining on him. Shockingly fast. Naruto let out a squawk of surprise. A manly manly squawk. Sasuke hadn't ever been that fast before.

Then Naruto noticed the hole in the ground the bastard had left behind. It was just like the trees!

Naruto pumped chakra into his feet, pushing his energy out of his foot when he went to take a step, rocketing him forward, and just barely letting him keep his lead.

As they approached the house, Sasuke began to slow. Naruto grinned at his victory as the house rapidly grew closer. "Ha! Victory is- wait. How do I stop?"  
\-----

I was putting the last touches on Kakashi's soup when I felt Naruto and Sasuke drawing close. Then there was a loud bang on the side of the house followed shortly after by a splash of water. A second later the door opened to reveal a very calm looking Sasuke.

Or at least he was calm until he saw me.

"Hey Sasuke-kun. Dinner is almost ready." I greeted. "Tazuna-san should be here soon too."

The soaked and grumpy kitten that was Naruto clambered up onto the bridge leading to the house. "I totally meant to do that."

"Ara ara, Naruto. You're soaked." I said with a shake of my head. "Go get washed off, and dried, the both of you. You smell like sweaty boy."

"Oh hey! Orochi Lady! See Sasuke. I told ya she'd be here." Naruto said while elbowing his teammate.

Meanwhile his sullen teammate glared at me. Sasuke, of all the genin, seemed to take my presence as a much more imminent threat. Though he lacked Kakashi's experience to be able to tell just how much of a threat I was other than just "very dangerous".

"Hey! Hey! Did you bring food again? Is it ramen? It's been forever since I've had ramen."

Naruto clearly did not take me as a serious threat. Despite his teacher and teammate both telling him that he should probably be threatened by me. It left me wondering how exactly he managed to survive as a ninja.

Super human regenerative ability probably had a lot to do with it.

"No ramen. Just ludicrously expensive beef and rice." I replied as I began spooning soup into a bowl. "Here Kakashi-kun. Your soup."

"Why are you here again?" Sasuke asked.

"Well I had so much fun this morning, I couldn't turn down showing up again for dinner." I said, which for some reason made Naruto give a cry of triumph.

"Kakashi-kun. Kindly send your minions to take a bath. That isn't a smell I think any of us want at the dinner table."

The two genin looked over to Kakashi who heaved a sigh before nodding. "Go on. Make it fast. And keep an eye out."

I took a moment to marvel at the fact that Kakashi was still slipping in warnings to pay attention. It's cute that he feels it necessary.

The two reluctantly leave the room. Naruto heads straight to the bath, though I notice Sasuke taking a quick patrol around the property, apparently looking for any other backup I might have brought with me.

"Which one were you saying is alive?" Kakashi asked.

It wasn't hard for me to guess at what the man was referring too. The man probably hadn't stopped thinking about it since I'd told him one of his teammates is alive. He was probably trying to catch me off guard with the sudden question too. A frequent tactic in interrogation.

"Obito." I answered truthfully.

I couldn't tell if I had done anything to help him with the statement. Kakashi himself probably didn't know either. The man was probably shoving the information into a little box in the corner of his mind to actually feel emotional about later.

He was a consummate professional.

"Do you have him? Were you the one who saved him." Kakashi asked.

I took out some butter and threw it into a hot pan on-top of the stove. I spoke over it's sizzle. "No. I only found out in the last three months."

It was sort of true. I had only been in this world for three months and this body I'm inhabiting didn't know until then.

"Who has him?" Kakashi asked. Voice filled with steel.

"No one." I replied, throwing a steak into the pan. "He's free. Well...he's free to come and go where he wishes. I don't imagine he feels very free."

Kakashi was silent. I let the silence go on. I knew he'd need a while to mull over that response. The only sounds in the kitchen was the sizzle of the hot pan and crackle and popping of meat.

"How would I find him?"

I smiled, my back to the Konoha nin. It was the question I had been waiting for.

"Akatsuki." I replied. "A group of S-rank missing nin from various hidden villages. Probably the most powerful collection of ninja on the continent. Powerful enough that half their numbers could single-handedly take on an entire hidden village."

I could practically feel the ninja behind me tense. After all, I doubt the man had expected the day to include secrets that could shake the foundation of the entire Elemental Nations.

"How do you know this? If this is some great conspiracy, how do you know it?"

"Ara ara, that's simple." I replied as I flipped the meat, steam rose in the air with a renewed sizzling. "I was a member up until three months ago."

I had once again made the man silent. Clearly thinking on the implications. Three months had also been when I'd said I found out about Obito. That by itself hinted at many possibilities. I'm sure the jounin wanted nothing more than to throw me into an interrogation cell and have me give answers far more specific and comprehensive than the cryptic half answers I was currently giving. Instead I was merely giving him small pieces of a large puzzle and letting him figure out what the puzzle said.

"That's why you're here. That's why you're reaching out. You ticked off these people and you need help beating them now."

Cheeky little brat.

"Well done." I replied then after a beat continued, "Medium, Medium Rare, or Rare?"

I turned around, one prepared steak laid to the side as I turned to look at Kakashi. The man's face was alternating between anger, fear, and accusation. I gave my best charming smile.

"I'll just make you a medium. You strike me as the kind that doesn't like things bloody."

Kakashi flinched and I went back to the stove, throwing on another steak. The kitchen again filling only with the sounds of fire and burning flesh.

It took longer than previously for Kakashi to speak up.

"What do they want? What's Akatsuki's goal?"

"Dangerous information, that." I responded. "I'll answer...when the question comes from Naruto's godfather."

Kakashi's chair clattered to the floor as the man stood up from his seat.

"Is that a threat?"

I rolled my eyes. "Sit down, ya cripple. It's not a threat. Maybe I just miss my dear former teammate?"

"You-" He started to say before I cut him off.

"It would appear we are out of time."

The front door opened and Tazuna and Sakura walked into the room.

"Ara ara, Tazuna-san! Working awfully late tonight." I commented. The bridge builder stepped into the room and took a deep breath. While Sakura looked uncertainly to her teacher's fallen chair and to me. The girl's hand straying towards her weapons pouch.

"Sakura. Go wash off your hands and help Orochitama with the food." Kakashi said with a serene smile. The girl looked on uncertainly before giving a nod.

"Yes, Kakashi-sensei."

"Tazuna, I also brought some Umeshu. Feel free to help yourself to some." I said as I gesture to the elaborate bottle on the counter. The man quickly pouring himself a glass.

"Thanks. Today was busy. We had ten more people join today. Well, rejoin. The food you gave me went a long way to getting people to want to work on the bridge again."

"Glad Tsunami-chan suggested it." I replied happily.

Tazuna glanced around with a frown. "Where is Tsunami?"

"She's spending some time with Inari in another room." I replied. "I'll call for her in a moment right when dinner is finished. Should only be a moment longer. How do you like your steak Tazuna-san? Rare?"

The man laughed, "I like it still mooing if I can get it!"

"Coming right up." I said happily as I grabbed another pan to fry some vegetables in. All the while Kakashi stared at me, a thousand questions burning in his gaze.

"Don't pout Kakashi. Can't give all the spoilers in the first act." I replied as I returned to cooking.  
\-----

Haruno Sakura wasn't sure on how to feel about this Orochitama. The Shinobi Rule #64 clearly stated that any traitors should be dealt with as swiftly as possible. But if this woman was as strong as Kakashi-sensei had said then trying to do anything would get them killed.

Plus, more than that, the woman seemed...nice. She knew it was probably an act, but if the woman was doing good things she didn't really think it was necessary to do anything right now. No reason to interrupt someone helping people after all. Plus the woman seemed so much like what Sakura wanted to be. She smiled kindly, looked pretty, and was so strong she could scare even Kakashi-sensei. She'd never met someone like that before.

"Oh! Sakura-chan! You're back!" Naruto's voice suddenly yelled, making Sakura's mood immediately plummet.

She was beginning to realize that she might have been a little too...critical of Naruto, but the boy wasn't making liking him easy. He was loud, he often smelled, and he just wouldn't take no for an answer. Plus he constantly ignored her own feelings about how she actually DID like Sasuke.

"So I got way up the tree! I go farther than Sasuke now!" Naruto bragged, which immediately brought a scoff from the dark eyed member of their team.

"Dream on dumbass. I'm still meters ahead." Sasuke said while looking away from her. The boy's pale profile dignified even in the house's poor light.

"Ara ara, some competition is good, but don't go too far." Orochitama said, carrying a plates of food over to the table. "Remember your teammates' strength is your strength. Nothing beats the power of friendship."

"The power of friendship?" Sakura asked. She hadn't ever heard a ninja seriously suggest something like that before.

"Yes. Taking one person by surprise with the help of three other people goes a long way." Orochitama replied.

Sakura blinked for a moment. The advice actually was basically the same as what Kakashi gave for teamwork. She just seemed to say it differently.

"Ha! You guys should be glad to have a super cool ninja like me." Naruto said while making sloppy punches in the air.

"W-well I am glad be on a team with Sasuke-kun in it."

"Alright. All three of you. You can cut that shit out right there." Orochitama said with a shake of her head.

"Huh?" Sakura asked in surprise.

"Naruto-kun. You are an asset to the team. But you can't do everything by yourself. It would have been better then to brag about how good your teammates are. Strong people don't need to tell others they're strong. Their reputation proceeds them. Strong people brag about their allies." Orochitama said before rounding on Sakura, "And Sakura-chan, your team is more than Sasuke-kun. Naruto-kun is also a major asset to your team. Putting everything on Sasuke's shoulders isn't fair."

Sakura found herself blushing. She knew what the older woman said was true. She depended too much on Sasuke. The last battle at the lake with Zabuza really showed that she didn't have much to contribute. She couldn't just assume she'd be fine just because Sasuke was on her team.

Kakashi had been asking after missions what it was she wanted to do in her ninja career. He'd asked her what sort of role she saw herself filling in the team.

She still had no idea how to answer that.

"Your team has great potential. You probably remind more than one person of my old team from when I was a genin. But you each need to grow into your own. Of the three of you only Sasuke seems to have a good picture of what sort of shinobi he wants to be." Orochitama said as she poured herself a cup of the sake she'd told Tazuna about earlier. "Ask for your sensei's help on things. That's what he's there for. To guide you. If you ask him what you should work on he'll tell you. If you don't know how to work on those things then ask him how to improve. You're ninja now. No one is going to hold your hand and walk you to ultimate power with step by step instructions."

Sakura all at once realized she'd never once asked Kakashi-sensei what he thought she should do. She never once asked for what she should improve on. Never before asked for a training exercise, and even after she completed the tree-walking exercise so easily she didn't ask for another one.

None of her teammates asked questions like that. Sasuke usually went off to do his own training. Naruto would ask for a cool ninjutsu but would stop whenever Kakashi suggested another exercise. Now that it was pointed out to her Sakura suddenly felt pity for their instructor.

"Yeah, but Kakashi-sensei never teaches me any cool ninjutsu. I ask all the time!" Naruto wined.

"Mhm. And Kakashi-kun, how do you respond?"

Sakura looked to their sensei and found the man slouched in a bizarre mix of exhaustion and vindication. "Generally I suggest the leaf sticking exercise or for him to practice his taijutsu forms."

Orochitama put one hand to her chin before giving a nod. "Yeah. Good advice. I'd suggest the same thing too."

"Huh? But I could just learn some cool ninjutsu and then I'd be way stronger!" Naruto said.

"What's a leaf exercise?" Tazuna asked a blush on his face and liquor on his breath.

"A chakra control exercise." Sakura responded, "You get the leaf to stick to your head with just your chakra."

"Sounds dumb." Tazuna slurred before taking another swig.

"Right!?" Naruto asked.

"Agreeing with the drunk civilian doesn't help you, moron." Sasuke spoke up.

"Leaving the fact that two people with much more experience and power than you are advising you to do this and you are still complaining about it," Orochitama said with a disapproving look, "You can at least understand that if you got even just a bit better at taijutsu it raises your threat exponentially when combined with Kage Bunshin. The most useful of clone ninjutsu."

"Oh. Well. Yeah. But I train my taijutsu. I beat up dummies all the time."

Sakura blinked. That was his definition of taijutsu training?

"Naruto. Is that what you've been doing when you said you were practicing your taijutsu forms?" Kakashi asked in disbelief.

"Well yeah."

Sakura herself could hardly believe it. While practicing on a dummy is an important part of taijutsu training, it's considered the last step after spending time running through form until you have perfected it.

"Well that explains a lot." Orochitama sighed, "Still. The very nature of you making so many clones allows for more benefit. Of all clones to be able to mass produce, shadow clones are the most useful."

"They are?" Sakura asked.

"Yes." Orochitama nodded. "Water clones are low cost but only have one tenth of the original's strength. Mud clones are sturdier than other clones but can't preform ninjutsu. Blood clones require you to have blood on hand. Pretty much all of the rest don't think for themselves and make you micromanage them."

Sakura mentally took note of that factoid.

"You should ask your sensei about what other things Kage Bunshin can do too." Orochitama said. "Remember, your sensei is around here to help you grow stronger. Listen to others' wisdom."

"Oh! Is dinner ready?" Tsunami's voice came from the doorway.

"I was just about to call you, Tsunami-chan." Orochitama's tone suddenly dripping with honey, "Please, do come and have put some of my meat in your mouth."

Sakura suddenly started to rethink her respect of the mysterious ninja.


	10. Chapter 10

Gato was having a really shitty day.

First off, every time he went to have a meal, the cooks reported that someone stole his food right from the kitchen. That led to him now needing to find some replacement cooks. It probably wasn't the last one's fault it happened but failure just couldn't be allowed.

Gato also hadn't been able to sleep all night. Ever time he was about to fall asleep a harsh shrill, like flute played off key, screeched so loudly it had him jumping out of his skin.

After he had decided to just get up for the day, he went to take a bath and somehow his soap made all of his...sensitive bits burn like it was on fire, and now it wouldn't stop itching.

Then every single pair of pants he tried on suddenly got a split in the back when he put them on.

It was so early in the morning that the sun hadn't risen yet and most of his staff weren't awake. The only people around were the guards and some of his people that would relay orders and occurrences with the docks.

His hair was still a mess and greasy because he didn't trust his shampoo or his brushes. He also replaced all his toilet paper with the stuff from the general employee bathrooms.

So he went down to the kitchens himself, for the first damn time in years, and cooked his own breakfast of bacon and eggs. He didn't trust anyone else making it.

Then, with bloodshot eyes, rumpled hair, and pants that had a half-assed sewing job, he began to take a bite of his slightly burnt breakfast. Then a runner came into the room.

"Gato-sama!"

"What!? What do you want!? If this is about the soldiers saying they are seeing giant crabs again, I swear I will hang you on a tree and have you whipped!"

"No...it's about one of our ships. It was attacked when it tried to leave port. It's rudder and sail were completely destroyed." The runner said nervously.

Gato's eyes narrowed. They were interfering with his business now too?

"Who did it? What happened?"

The runner made a slight choking sound and mumbled incoherently.

"What? Speak up!"

"It was...uh...done by giant gold crabs."

It was ninja. It had to be. They were using illusions or something to make it look like the silly local legend was doing this.

"How is the cargo? Did it get damaged?" Gato growled. A single lost shipment could lose him more money than he could make up for with dozens of other shipments.

"No. All the cargo was completely untouched, minus a crate of produce that got knocked into the ocean." The runner promised.

The ninja were trying to leave his product alone? That meant they didn't want to destroy his business. That was something he could use.

"Tell the men to get the ship back into port for repairs. But first go get my guards. Looks like I need to have a talk with my own pet ninja." Gato stood up, leaving behind his plate of uneaten food.

It tasted like shit anyways.

He had three guards quickly catch up with him as he left the dinning room. He marched his way up to the door for the waste of money inside.

Zabuza was in the same position he'd left him. Laying flat on his back while the masked woman watched over him.

"Zabuza. You need to fix my problem."

The supposed Demon of the Mist looked up at him from his place on the bed. "I'll have the bridge builder's head for you, as soon as I recover. Only a few more days-"

"I don't care about that shit right now." Gato interrupted. "Someone has been in my room. Stolen my food. Damaged my clothes. Messed with my shit! And now they are stopping my shipments! If I'm hiring you, you are going to fix this!"

The ninja stared at him for a moment before letting out a low chuckle.

"Oh no. Not for all your money. I was hired to kill a target, and I'll do that, but I'm not taking a new contract from you right now."

Gato felt his face burn. He couldn't believe the impudence of the the stray dog. "How dare you! I'll give you money. That's all your lot cares about. You WILL do this!"

Zabuza gave him a flat stare. "No. I don't like the odds."

Gato grit his teeth. How dare this useless piece of shit refuse! He was under Gato's employ right now! Gato took his cane and took a step forward to show the cripple what refusing him got someone.

However instead of being able to swing down his cane, he found his hand in a cold vice. The masked woman had somehow moved across the room without him noticing and grabbed his arm, the pressure was enough to make Gato cry out in pain as his bones creaked in complaint.

"Haku. Enough." Zabuza ordered.

The bitch immediately released his arm and backed off. Gato cradled the arm to his chest, and for just a moment, he swore he could hear his fathers drunken laughter.

"I'll still honor our contract, Gato. But you aren't the only person willing to pay ninja to get rid of their problems. If you wish to renegotiate our contract, I'm more than happy to just cancel it."

Gato grit his teeth. He didn't want that. The bridge builder did need to be taken out. He was giving people ideas. No sense in trying to hire someone else for this. Besides, the two ninja might just kill each other and he wouldn't have to pay anything more.

"Fine. But if you fail again I'll have my men kill you themselves." Gato growled and stomped out of the room.

He was loath to contact another ninja to come in and deal with his problems, but he just couldn't keep living like this. He marched back to the dinning room to at least finish off the bacon, only to find the plate empty with a note on it saying "You're a shit cook. Also, seasonings are a thing."  
\------

I felt confident that Gato was close to breaking and asking for backup. Which, if that was the case, meant I'd need to find the closest thing the man had to a second in command quickly. Onece Gato called for reinforcements things would probably unravel rapidly.

Tayuya had apparently been waking the man up all night long and reported earlier that morning that he didn't have a breakfast worth stealing. So I left a note on Tazuna's door letting him know I wouldn't be bringing breakfast that morning. Instead I went to check up on my other subordinate.

I found him perched on top of a cliff that overlooked both the ocean and Gato's docks. The docks only visible if one was comfortable leaning over the edge of the cliff, making it a great place to keep an eye on the port.

"Kidomaru-kun. Anything new?" I asked.

Kidomaru turned and gave me a brief nod of acknowledgment before turning back to peak over the cliff side as he spoke, "After the first ship came back into port the sailors were panicked, but I did manage to find one guy that immediately ran to check on the warehouse you said to keep an eye on. So we at least know who Gato's guy on the docks is that deals with the ninja stuff."

I gave a hum of acknowledgment. That was good news. If I couldn't find out who Gato's right hand was from the big boss himself, I'd have to find out from his subordinates.

It shouldn't be this hard to find out the command structure of a business. It's amazing Gato made any money.

"How did your spiders take the water and your gold web all over them?" I asked as I sat down, sticking my legs off to the side and tucking one end of my dress under the leg.

"Not great. They are going to want a lot of food to make up for this." Kidomaru said, face pinched.

"I'll make sure they get it." I promised.

We lapsed into silence. Kidomaru kept glancing back at me to see if I was still there before going back to gazing over the edge of the cliff. What ever was going on in the docks was also surely not so important he needed to keep a constant eye on it.

Kidomaru was uncomfortable with me. He was one of the ones that was loyal to Orochimaru himself, and not the power or the fear. He didn't like my sudden change of character, clearly. When Orochimaru found him he was from a hidden village that had been wiped out. The Village Hidden in Caves was no more.

I suppressed the part of my mind that whispered that's what happens when your entire village is underground and can be completely gotten rid of with one cave in. They were still people and they still all died. It had a great impact on Kidomaru, who found himself without kin and home. And of course Orochimaru was more than happy to swoop in and act as the savior.

"Kidomaru-kun. What do you want in life?" I asked.

The spider summoner looked up at me in confusion. "I'm sorry?"

"What do you want in life? Do you want power? Food? Prestige? Love? Knowledge?" I asked.

"I want to live in service to you, Orochimaru-sama." He responded.

"That's flattering. I appreciate that. Really. But what do you want besides that? And if you want to serve me, why? Don't say anything about me in your response. Why is it that you want to serve me?"

"I just...want to be part of something great." Kidomaru replied. "There are so many powers and villages that don't make any impact on the world. I know that by serving you, I'll be a part of history making events."

As far as reason went that wasn't a bad one. Though reading into more I knew exactly what he meant. He wanted his mark made on the world. He wanted to a part of something that would be in history books, so that even when he finally died, something he contributed to would be around forever. It was no different than the drive for many an artist and scientist. Hell, a bunch of a religions started from just wanting to be a part of something greater. But I had one worry.

"Will that make you happy?"

My subordinate's eyebrow rose and he gave a profound, "Huh?"

Apparently not many ninja bosses ask if the fanatical loyalty of their minions will make their underlings happy.

"There are many ways to be a part of something greater Kidomaru-kun. There are those that become monks and gain enlightenment. You can become an artist and make a work of art that will be talked about for ages. Or you could start a family, and have a bit of you live on for however long humanity lasts as your line continues through time." I promised, "There are many ways to leave a lasting mark on the world."

Kidomaru let out a snort. "Me? A monk? Or a father?"

"If you want." I stated. "I'm confident you could be a great one if you pursued it. A great artist too. Your webs can be a beautiful sight to behold."

"Are you trying to make me quit?" He asked, dumbfounded.

"Of course not. You are one of my best men. I just want you to be happy. Your goals to be accomplished. I'm not making you follow me. I just want you to know I appreciate you, and all my ninja. I want all of you to be able to accomplish everything in life that you set out to do."

"I...thank you Orochitama-sama. But I'll be fine serving you. If I die in your service, I will have no complaints." Kidomaru said before glancing out again. "Someone went into that factory. I'm going to see what they are doing."

He leapt away.

"I'd have complaints." I mumbled.

I heaved a sigh and resigned myself to the fact that I can't change a person's entire world view in a day. I gave him enough to think on for now.

Besides, for the first time, he didn't hesitate to call me Orochitama. I'll take the win where I can. I rose to stand up and began walking back into the heart of the island. I had a barbecue to prepare for.  
\------

Sasuke took deep breaths, wiping one hand across his face, removing the dripping sweat. His progress and been constant since he began. Each attempt got him just a little bit further than the last.

"One more time!" Naruto yelled before making a dead run at his tree rapidly gaining altitude before he slashed a mark and fell off the tree. Said mark was almost a meter higher than the last one, though the last one had almost a dozen notches all clustered together.

Naruto was rapidly gaining on him in massive spurts of improvement.

Just a few months ago, Naruto had been a loser. So far beneath him that the blond could be handled in seconds.

And he was gaining on Sasuke. How little must he be improving that Naruto, of all people, was catching up with him?

"Ara Ara. You two have improved so much!" A familiar voice called.

Sasuke tensed and turned to look at the woman approaching. She, for once, wasn't wearing a dress, but instead a pair of dingy black pants and a ratty brown shirt topped with a black apron. She was also pulling a boar that was almost as tall as she was behind her. The boar clearly dead from a single puncture wound in the middle of it's forehead. Possibly the cleanest kill Sasuke had ever seen.

"Orochi Lady! Hey! Look look! I'm totally catching up with Sasuke!" Naruto cheered.

"You are." Orochitama acknowledged, "That's impressive. Especially since Sasuke-kun's improvement would be considered genius worthy by itself."

Sasuke scoffed. Itachi had done this by the time he was eight.

Orochitama produced a rope from somewhere, he wasn't sure where. Perhaps under the apron there was a storage seal? She then threw the rope over a branch and began tying one end of it to the bore's back legs.

"Ha! Cause I'm a genius too! By the time I'm done I'll kick that Zabuza's ass myself!" Naruto bragged.

"I don't think you are going to be quite on his level for a little longer Naruto-kun." Orochitama said before picking up the other side of the rope and began heaving the boar to hang in the air.

"Idiot. That monster would still slaughter you." Sasuke scoffed. There was no way, even teamed up, that they could take Zabuza themselves. Not yet.

"Wha- Sasuke! We totally took him that last time!" Naruto complained.

"No, he's right." Orochitama said as she tied the rope to the tree. "Zabuza could take you both pretty easily. Though calling him a monster is a bit unfair."

"He's trying to kill Tazuna! And he works for Gato!" Naruto objected.

That hadn't quite been what Sasuke meant when he called Zabuza a monster, but he was inclined to agree with Naruto. Zabuza was clearly not a nice person.

"Yes. He is a man who was hired for a job. And if you think that Kakashi-kun hasn't worked for people just as terrible as Gato then you will be in for a very rude surprise as you get older."

"What? Kakashi-sensei would never do something like that!" Naruto objected.

Sasuke kept silent. Konoha had a reputation for not taking distasteful missions. They marketed themselves as the village that civilians shouldn't be afraid of. However, Sasuke was also very confident that if the money was right all kind of things would be done very quietly.

"He has. But that's okay. Well...not okay. Normal maybe?" The woman seemed to consider for a moment. "Yeah. Normal works. But you shouldn't demonize your opponents. Always remember that who you are fighting is another person with the own reason for being there."

"Please. Some aren't people. Some are just fighting for the power and bloodshed." Sasuke said without doubt. He knew there was a darkness in many people's hearts and there were people out there that would kill their own friends and family for power of it. For the fun of it.

Sasuke glared at the woman, daring her to contradict what he said.

"Yes. There are people like that." Orochitama confirmed, though continued, "But even then they often have their reasons. People aren't generally born monsters, Sasuke-kun. They're made."

Sasuke wanted to dismiss the words, but there was a kernel of truth in it that he couldn't shake the feeling of. He didn't want to believe it, but his mind whispered that it would explain so much about That Man. Sasuke looked away, seeing Naruto's face that also looked troubled.

"So you're saying someone can make someone else a monster?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke was abruptly reminded of the look in his teammates eyes when he was alone. When Naruto thought no one was watching and he got lost in his own world. There was a darkness that would frighten Sasuke if it wasn't so familiar.

Sasuke wondered what Naruto knew of monsters.

"I wouldn't say make. People always have a choice." Orochitama said as she placed a large bin on the ground underneath the boar. "However you would be surprised about how many saints are just one big push from being monsters, and what scum bags have codes of honor that even gods can't break. People are what they make themselves. But they are also very much colored by their environment."

"Colored how?" Sasuke asked.

"All kinds of ways. Pressure from superiors. Parents that didn't show their love. Loyalty to a cause that isn't so nice. Panic, fear, and hatred. All of these can turn a well meaning person to the most bloodied of murderers.."

Sasuke wondered why she maintained eye contact with him the entire time she said that. Except for the brief moment her eyes flicked to Naruto, when she mentioned hatred.

"And what makes it where you know so much about monsters." Sasuke shot back. Suddenly finding himself very uncomfortable with the conversation.

"Simple, Sasuke-kun." The woman pulled out a knife and drove into the belly of the boar and ripped it up the side, spilling blood and intestines into the bin she'd placed under the creature. "Up until three months ago, I was one."

Sasuke's mind came to a halt.

"Huh? No way. Not you." Naruto said with a shake of his head.

"No. It's true. Your sensei warned you about me. He was right to. I have done some very bad things. It took some...soul searching to really find myself changed." The woman said, as if she was telling a joke.

Sasuke turned away. He didn't care to hear about redemption. People didn't change. Plus the air had become uncomfortably thick with the stench of blood. Sasuke ripped his mind away from where it had been going and set at this tree again.

He didn't have time for whatever manipulations the woman was trying to make. He needed to get stronger.

Nothing else mattered. He wouldn't allow himself to get distracted by unimportant things.

"Naruto! Wanna learn how to skin and bleed a boar to get it ready for cooking?"

"Uh...do I have to?" His teammate complained but walked closer anyways.

Perfect. It allowed time for Sasuke to secure his lead more.


	11. Chapter 11

I just finished being a distraction to Naruto and Sasuke's training when I met again with my two underlings to discuss the unfolding problem we were having.

"I'm pretty sure Gato doesn't have a second in command." Tayuya said with a shake of her head. "He seems to assign people to be in charge of specific parts of the business but no one could be called his second in command. The midget doesn't trust anyone enough to put them in second in command."

I heaved a sigh. I was beginning to feel that way too. Not a great way to run a business but a great way to make sure your underlings didn't kill you. Hell, it wasn't until I brought in Kabuto that Oto could be considered to have anything resembling a second in command.

"Kidomaru. Do you agree?" I asked.

The four armed man gave a nod, "Yeah. The dock seems to work the same way. There isn't any one person who is in charge of the whole dock. Two guys are at the top and they seem to be in competition with each-other."

This made my plans more difficult. I had hoped to be able to take over the business wholesale. That didn't seem to able to happen. Any change in leadership I tried would be more likely to result in infighting as all the little people tried to make themselves the boss.

So if I couldn't steal the the company I'd have to settle for second prize.

I took out two scrolls and wrote a quick message, encoded in a basic cipher, I pressed a finger into a needle on my belt and used the blood to summon two snakes. The two snakes a stripped grey and black, Their bodies thin, even by snake standards, though they were both about a meter and a half long. The twin snakes were Nobutoshi and Shun. The two were often summoned as messengers.

"Take this scrolls to Sakon. Wait with him until you get a reply, then take whatever he gives you and deliver it to Otogakure." I ordered Nobutoshi. "Shun, you take this scroll to Oto ahead of him. Deliver to Kabuto."

"Payment?" Nobutoshi wheezed out.

"A whole pig should be available for you to bring back with both yourself and Shun." If Oto had one resource currently, it was dead pigs.

Shun and Nobutoshi exchanged glances, tongues flicking out.

"Acceptable." They finally stated before they both took their respective scrolls and swallowing them. Then the two snakes slithered away.

"So what's the new plan Boss Lady?" Tayuya asked.

"We need to find the location of all of Gato's warehouses and ships. Gather as many manifests and shipping schedules as you can find." I ordered. "Most importantly, we need to find where he keeps his cash."

"Tayuya smirked. "With how he's running shit he definitely has the cash somewhere nearby. At least most of it. I can give him a good reason to want to go count his money. I just need him to be suspicious of someone using it first."

"That shouldn't be hard to do." I said. Gato was absolutely the type that was constantly sure people were stealing from him.

"Okay. Here's the plan. Our jobs are going to be a bit easier if we insert ourselves into the organization. Kidomaru, take over the identity of one of the leaders of the dock. Tayuya, take over for whoever it is that finds Gato his girls, then take me in. I'm sure if you get me in as one of his conquests I can give him that last push we need to get him to run to his ninja backers."

My two subordinates gave a nod.

"Orochitama-sama." Kidomaru began. "You order no bloodshed without authorization. Do I have your permission to eliminate my target to better take over their identity?"

"Denied." I responded immediately. "We need to be able to question him about further information. Tie them up and stow them away somewhere."

Kidomaru and Tayuya restrain an unhappy look. Killing a target was always much easier than kidnapping and storing a target.

"In the meantime, Tayuya, I need you to inform me on all of Gato's tastes. Kidomaru, I need you go to the docks and see if you can find some jewlery. The most ostentatious and expensive looking jewelry you can find."

"Ah. Of course Orochitama-sama." Kidomaru said, catching onto my idea.

"Let's get it done. We'll start at night fall. Assuming no complications, our time in Wave should be over soon." I reassured. "Now, Tayuya, tell me about hair color."  
\----

Tsunami found herself delaying on making any sort of dinner. A small part of her mind whispered that Orochitama would just be coming by with some extravagant ingredient for dinner. She hadn't been told that the strange pale woman would be coming by again that day, but she had already dropped in for a surprise visit a few times. The female ninja was somewhat unpredictable.

Though it was getting late, she should probably start-

"Kakashi-sensei!" An excited voice yelled before her front door burst open. Admitting the ball of sunshine that was the smallest Konoha ninja. Tsunami found Naruto to be an adorable and well meaning child, and she often found herself worrying that boy seemed very...un-ninja-like.

"Naruto. This is someone's house. Don't burst in and don't yell." Kakashi said from his resting spot in the corner. The grey haired ninja always impressed her with his patience. He never raised his voice or yelled at any of the kids, even when they did things of...questionable intelligence.

"Oh. Sorry." He said before continuing at a volume more similar to a yell than the roar it was before. "But I skinned and undressed a boar! Orochi Lady came with a boar and had me take care of it! And then she took all the blood and stuff and gave me the boar inside this scroll! She also said that there is a box of fruit and stuff in here too!"

"Oh. That's nice of her." Tsunami said, though tried to get her head around the idea of putting an entire pig inside some paper. It seemed like a waste of food.

"She approached you guys during your training? Did she do anything else?" Kakashi asked far too casually. The man seemed intent on being hostile to Orochitama for some reason, though there was apparently some sort of past between them, so she shouldn't try to judge.

"Yeah! Came in with an apron and everything, pulling the boar behind her. Then she told Sasuke how amazing I was and that Zabuza is just doing a job or something. Oh and she said she used to be a monster like three months ago, but that was just silly." Naruto prattled on.

"Three months ago?" Kakashi asked. "She said that?"

"The man trying to murder my father is just doing a job?" Tsumani asked. She couldn't believe that Orochitama would say something like that.

"Yeah. Three months ago." Naruto confirmed. "Anyways, she said you should do something with this food and she won't be by for a few days."

Kakashi let out a deep hum. Three months apparently meant something to him. Though he continued with a question. "You said she took the blood form the boar too? She sealed it away?"

"Yeah." Naruto said with a nod. "Nice of her, so we don't have to smell that constantly."

"Oh. And it will stop predators form looking for scraps near your training spot too." Tsunami supplied.

"It appears we won't be seeing much of Orochitama during the next week." Kakashi said bitterly.

"I thought you didn't like her." Tsunami stated in confusion. "Shouldn't you be happier to not see her?"

Kakashi looked at her in consideration for a moment before he spoke. "Tsunami-san, let me answer your question with a question. Would you rather be in a room with a rattlesnake you can see? Or in a room with a rattlesnake that you can't see?"

"Kakashi-san, I don't think that talking about Orochitama like she's some sort of criminal is-"

"I'll just leave these here." Naruto said as he unsealed the scroll in his hand, dumping a field-dressed boar and a grate baring the name of Gato Shipping Company onto the floor.

Kakashi looked over at her with a droll look in his eyes.

"Okay, so yes, she does steal stuff, but she's been nothing but nice to the people of Wave." Tsunami replied.

"Yeah, I know." Kakashi said as he leaned back into his corner and closed his visible eye. "And that's really freaking me out."  
\-----

"So how do I look?" I ask as I turn this way and that. The henge over my body making me look about half a foot shorter, my features far younger, my hair a vibrant blonde, and my make up applied like I had no idea what I was doing.

I was also decked head to toe in the gaudiest jewelry I had ever laid eyes on. A head band with rubies the size of walnuts, a necklace made of silver and thirty separate diamonds, a ring on every single finger that had opals, pearls, sapphires, and emeralds.

"You look fucking ridiculous." Tayuya answered.

"But will Gato take the bait?" I asked.

"Oh he'll fucking love you until he realizes where all the bling came from."

Great, that's exactly what I was going for.

"What do you two think?" I asked as I looked to the two men tied up in the tree hollow that we had set ourselves up in.

The one that we had picked up from the docks, Nariyuki, glared at me in defiance, but the other man, Aoki, that was responsible for getting Gato's girls did his best to give me a thumbs up. Aoki had been nothing but obedient and positive with us since he arrived.

His great attempts to make sure we remained happy with his services was vaguely amusing.

"Kidomaru-kun, try to stay unnoticed as much as you can. Business as usual only. Slip away tomorrow night with any information you managed to gather that we didn't already know."

The Spider Shinobi gave a nod before dashing away. I gave one more look at my more...streamline form, wearing a silk yukata of blue and green, before turning to Tayuya. "Well, time for you to hand me over to a walking embodiment of little dick syndrome."

Tayuya cracked a smile before the two of us jumped away. Ninja travel landing us just a few hundred meters out of Gato's hideout. Tayuya put on her henge and stepped forward with a chord of rope.

I showed great maturity by not saying any bondage jokes as she bound my wrists. We needed to make it seem like I couldn't run off and that I was at the mercy of whoever held the end of the rope. They didn't know I had over two dozen ways of getting OUT of said rope, or all of the ways I could kill them all with my wrists still bound.

I took a breath and tried to get into the right mind space.

I wasn't Orochimaru. I wasn't a mature adult. I was an irresponsible teenager that did foolish things because someone flashed some shiny objects my way and just got over my head.

I let tears gather in the corners of my eyes and looked up at my subordin- at my captor.

"Please. I didn't know! I was just having some fun!" I cried.

The illusionary form in front of me gave a nod of approval before a look of apathy took over. "Come on now. I don't call the shots. Gato's the boss and what he says goes. He's a pretty reasonable guy. We'll let him decide."

It sounded good. We both were in character.

We approached the hideout. Tayuya occasionally yanking me on as I gave slow shambling steps.

"Halt!" One of the guards in front of the base called. "Who's this? Why are you bringing her here? The boss said he didn't want any girls brought in tonight."

My captor shrugged. "Yeah, well this isn't for that. Look at all that cash on her. She had to have stolen it from us. I figure the boss would want to know and handle this case all...personal like."

The guard looked me up and down, I flinched away and let out a small whimper.

The guard frowned. "Aoki. The boss did say that he didn't want any girls today. You could just collect the goods and just...forget what she looks like."

Of all the guards to run into, we had to get the one with a conscience! Even thieves and thugs like this had lines they didn't like to cross.

"Can't. Nariyuki already saw her. He plans on coming in and tattling in the morning. I let her go, it's my ass tomorrow." Tayuya said, appealing to the one thing all thugs considered the highest morality.

Self-preservation.

"Alright, yeah. Head on in," the guard said with a defeated sigh.

It took another fifteen minutes and two conversations about "taking this thief to Gato" before we stood in front of Gato's office. My captor knocked on the door and we were told to enter. I reminded myself to look around. I had no reason to be familiar with the office and the opulence of the room would be awe inspiring for a poor peasant girl.

"Aoki! What is this!? I said not to bring any more girls in!" Gato snarled.

The man had seen better days. Thick bags hung under his eyes, his hair was greasy and matted, and he looked a little pale.

"I know boss. That's not why I brought her. I found her near the docks, looking like...well this. There's no way one of the peasants here could afford to look like that."

The man came up short, and finally noticed how I was completely decked out in jewels, silver, gold, and silk.

I turned up the water works. "P-please! I didn't do anything wrong! I was given these! I swear! One of your men gave them to me when we'd meet for a date! I didn't do anything wrong!"

Gato let out a snarl. "Throw me her headband." He ordered.

My captor complied and Gato took a moment staring at the rubies, holding them up to the light before muttering, "These are real."

The midget snatched up his cane and marched around his desk. Without warning the cane smacked into my face with all the force of a bug bite to someone like Orochitama. I let it drive me to the ground and released a cry of pain.

"Who gave you these!? Who!?" He snarled.

"Hiroto! His name was Hiroto!?" I sobbed. "It wasn't serious! He just gave me money and jewelry for meeting him!"

Gato looked to Aoki. "Who the hell is Hiroto?"

Aoki shrugged. "I dunno boss. We don't have anyone on payroll by that name. We also don't pay any of our guys enough to afford all this. I figure someone gave her a fake name, but I don't know where they would have gotten the stuff from."

I made sure to stay looking away from Gato, but I could practically hear him connecting dots along the trail we left for him.

"Someone's stealing my stuff...and it might be how the ninja have had so much access. Someone on the inside is playing me." Gato came the the desired conclusion and smacked the cane against my prone from once again. "Take her to my room. I'll give her a thorough...interrogation later. Now I just need to-"

The door the the office opened, catching both Gato and me by complete surprise.

I hadn't sensed anyone at the door. Granted, I hadn't expected to be looking for ninja stealth, I was a bit too in character, but even still, whoever manage to avoid my detection up to this point was an upper tier jounin at least. There was a brief clacking sound as I made sure to look up from my position as a brutalized civilian would.

Sandals that could almost qualify as heels. A blue dress that covered an armor weave of chakra metal that worked similar to chainmail, though thinner and lighter. A go to for many ninja. It was also ludicrously expensive.

My gaze trailed up to see auburn hair pulled back in that cascaded down the ninja's back. A mist headband hung loosely around her neck displaying the symbol of the Mist.

I then knew how Gato managed to get a hold of Zabuza.

"Gato. My sources say that you've been having some business problems." Terumi Mei, the future Mizukage, said with a haughty tone.

Her eyes met mine. Her eyes narrowed.

Well, this plan was fucked.


	12. Chapter 12

Zabuza somehow tipped her off, which was bad news for my whole 'Recruit Zabuza' thing that I had going on. Still I quaked appropriately under her gaze and didn't break character.

I was a professional.

Her glare slid from me to Gato.

"I see that you are finding time to beat helpless women, but can't find time to make sure that our supplies reach us in a timely manner." Mei stated as she looked away.

There was no way that Mei didn't know I wasn't a civilian. The henge could do quite a lot, but it couldn't disguise the fact it was currently using chakra, which quickly ousted you when you were trying to pretend to be a civilian.

Mei was apparently playing this one by ear.

"Not my fault. Something has been attacking my ships. Locals are blaming some sort of golden crab thing." Gato snarled, spittle flying form his mouth.

"And you didn't feel the need to contact us over this problem?" Mei's voice was cold and sharpened with killing intent.

To his credit, Gato didn't back down. "It was my problem. I was going to handle it. Bad business to make customers deal with my problem."

"It's our problem when out troops don't get their equipment." Mei scoffed. "I will deal with your crab problem. In the meantime, I will take this girl as well."

Yeah, I saw that coming.

"No! This bitch was caught stealing from me! She had a partner on the inside and I need to get the information out of her!"

"You...caught her stealing?" Mei asked with a raised eyebrow and looked down at me.

"No! I didn't! I swear, they were gifts!" I begged.

"Quiet you!" Gato swung the cane at me.

Mei caught it.

"Allow me. These thefts and your problem with crabs might be related." Mei stated and shot me a knowing look. "I'm going to question her while I fix all your other problems"

"What!? You can't-"

Chakra size and the intensity of killing intent are directly linked. Killing intent was like an emotion that flared brightly in chakra. Something that humans had always been aware of, training or not. Something in our lizard brain, something more primal and raw than most humans deal with, screams at us that death approaches. Screams that we should be afraid. When backed by all the chakra of a Kage level ninja? That scream is very loud.

"I can do exactly what I want. We warned you what consequences would come if you failed on your end of the bargain. Be glad I am only giving a warning." Mei turned to me. "Come. You have explaining to do."

Gato's face had vein's bulging and so much blood pumped to his face it had gone past red and was turning a shade of purple. His fists clenched at his side in rage, he said nothing as I stood up and walked out the door with Mei.

Well, if nothing else, this adventure was worth it just for seeing that face.

It was a short walk down the hall before Mei spoke.

"Stop right there." She stated before backing up several more steps from me. "Who are you? Why are you here?"

A thin layer of mist started to creep into the room. Mei's acid mist. The technique was not one I wanted to face indoors. Smaller space meant it concentrated quicker allowing it to ramp up to deadly levels quicker than an open space would allow.

Lava in a confined space had similar issues. Splatter effect was a major problem in a narrow hallway.

I considered that for a moment before dropping my henge, showing my true self, floral dress with gaudy jewelry and all. I brought my own chakra to the surface. Chances are Mei wouldn't want to fight here unless she was very confident she could win. My reputation tended to not make people feel confident.

Mei jumped even further down the hall from me and got into a fighting stance.

"Ara ara. No need to be frightened." I said soothingly. "I'm not here to fight."

"You're..." Mei paused in consideration before continuing with clear confusion, "Orochimaru?"

"Well yes, but no." I answered. "I go by Orochitama these days."

"Orochi...tama." She asked in disbelief, but got herself under control adopting an aloof and haughty expression. "Fine. Whatever you wish to call yourself. What are you doing here? What are your intentions with Mist?"

"Mist?" I asked lightly, "Don't you mean the Mist rebellion?"

Mei's expression never changed. "Rebellion? Mist has no rebellion."

"Of course. How silly of me." I chirped back. "Well I wasn't here about the Mist rebellion. Oops. How silly of me. I wasn't here about the incredibly legitimate business that you have with Gato. I was here for Gato himself. I knew he had some sort of ninja backer but I wasn't sure who. I was simply beating around the bushes to see where he'd run to."

"And what is it that you plan to do now that you know?" She asked.

Now that was the question here, wasn't it? There were plenty of causes that I'd just screw out of this deal and leave them, but the Mist rebellion was a cause that I actually agreed with. Plus it was a poke in the eye of Akatsuki to help them. The number of people that could move product on a large scale and were willing to it with dubious legality were few and far between. Not to say it didn't happen often, just that the people that did it often found themselves having unfortunate accidents. There is a solid chance that Gato was the only person that could have met their shipping needs. Losing him might very well kill the rebellion before it could truly take off.

"Well I had need of my own lines of transport and some capital. Gato Shipping seemed like an excellent choice. Assuming that Gato had no part of it."

Mei didn't move outwardly at that, but her hands were starting to stray slightly closer together, probably restraining herself from throwing ninjutsu already. Mist didn't want to share. Which made sense. When it came to knowing how to share the various hidden villages where like greedy toddlers, only with even more biting.

"As you can see, his services are unavailable currently. So sorry that you had to waste your time." Mei stated in a tone that was anything but sorry.

"What if someone that wasn't Gato took over?" I asked, "I'm certain that if one of your definitely-not-rebellious ninja took over I could do lots of business with you?"

I was lying through me teeth. While I did need supply lines, I needed capital to get everything going, the supply lines were of secondary importance. The real question was if they were open to cooperation if they held the control.

"We can't replace him. His business collapses if he disappears and if a ninja is in charge of it then all the villages will come out of the woodwork to tear it apart. If we could replace him, we would have."

Aha! That wasn't a no. Meaning they are desperate enough to play ball. Meaning if I manage to seize control of the company they'll still participate, they just won't be happy about it. That just left one more question I needed answered.

"Such a loss. At least I did get to meet with Zabuza. I can't believe you all let that one get away."

Mei paused. I had just mentioned I knew that one of Mist's missing-nin was here. A very high profile one. Mei either needed to go kill him, as a good Mist-nin should, or let someone who attempted to kill the Mizukage go. If he was part of the rebellion she'd let him go. If he wasn't then killing him and bringing in his head would help make her look loyal.

Which also meant I'd have to stick close by to stop her from killing him if that's what she decides to do.

But she also knew that was a trap that she couldn't say anything about. So she did what most people do in that situation.

"You know Gato's backers now. Are you going to back off? Or are things going to get ugly?" Mei asked as lava began to drip from her fingers.

Ah, showmanship.

"With someone as beautiful as you around? Terrifying, awe-inspiring, or even sticky, but certainly never ugly." I give a wink.

That brought Mei up short. "Huh?"

"Ara ara. You should learn to take a compliment better, Terumi-chan." I said with a dismissive wave of my hand. "I look forward to meeting you again."

I dashed away, slithering through an air vent that would be impossible to fit through if I had to worry about pesky things like a normal human skeleton.  
\-----

Mei watched...whoever that was leave but she didn't drop her guard. There was a strong possibility the woman was still hanging around waiting for her to lower her guard. She wasn't confident in her victory and the fight would almost certain destroy the building and the residents here. Including Gato. Which would have felt nice but would have been very inconvenient for the rebellion.

Mei heaved a sigh and warily walked towards another room. There was still some other ninja in the room with Gato, but revealing him might get this Orochitama to start something.

The question also was how much, if any, of what was just discussed was true. Orochitama could easily have been hired by the Mizukage to flush out rebels. The obviously mad mind of Yagura would probably plan something as ridiculous as a flirty house mother themed Orochimaru. Which, really, could only have come from a very special kind of crazy.

Her feet soon lead her to a door. Zabuza's door. She paused and considered her options.

Orochitama knew both of them were here. Leaving Zabuza alive could compromise her position. The rebellion wasn't ready to strike yet. They didn't have the right people in the right places yet. The smart thing to do here would probably be to kill him.

She raised a hand and knocked on the door.

"Enter." Came the gruff voice.

Mei obliged and took in the room. Zabuza was in a sorry state. He was pale, more so than usual, and had bags under his eyes that spoke of deep weariness. Zabuza's little pet had come to their feet and held a senbon needle in each hand.

"Mei." The man grunted from his spot.

"Zabuza." Mei responded. "We got your message. Any reason you failed to mention Konoha's most infamous missing-nin lurking around?"

"You wouldn't have responded as quickly to a report saying sex changed Orochimaru broke into my room and started flirting with me." Zabuza said simply. She would have scolded him if it hadn't been true. Everyone would have sat around trying to figure out what the message actually meant before acting.

"So it's not just me she flirts with." She observed.

"She does it to unbalance people." He said simply. "She says whatever she can to keep the other person feeling out of their depths, alternates between obscuring what she's saying so much you have to think about all the implications then jumps to being blunt."

Mei gave a hum of agreement as she looked Zabuza up and down again. "Your report also said the Copy-Ninja is here. You said you were handling him. How's that going?"

"I'll kill him in three days." Zabuza responded.

Mei gave a raised eyebrow.

"He's struggling with chakra exhaustion. I'll be fighting fit by the time he's well enough to do anything."

Mei hummed an agreement as she looked at Zabuza. The only sound in the room being Haku, who shifted into a more aggressive stance as the tension in the room grew.

The last fight between Zabuza and Kakashi had clearly been close. So close that another fight between them was questionable. The bridge builder issue was of little importance compared to the threat of Orochitama. And the information that Orochitama now knew. If she killed Zabuza now and brought back his head then this little side trip she took while out on a mission would seem perfectly reasonable. Plus she gave it a 50/50 shot that Zabuza would survive his next encounter with Kakashi.

"Made up your mind yet?" Zabuza asked. "You won't get a better time than now."

All her training told her to go for it. There was more risk to keeping him alive than reward. It wasn't like they couldn't send someone else to kill the bridge builder later, but keeping him alive risked her cover and by extension the cover of the whole rebellion. It was a hard choice, but wars were made of hard choices.

The only thing stopping her was a little voice asking how many hard choices led to Yagura being in charge of Mist.

"This Orochitama knows you are Rebellion now. Do you think she'll use it against us?" She asked, hoping he'd say something to tip the scales back in his favor.

"I don't know. She's tough to get a read on. But, she approached me with a job offer, said she's willing to wait until this job's done but she wanted me to come and help train her people."

Tension melted from her. That was worth while.

"Good. If you're still alive after all this and she comes to you, accept, it'll give us a man on the inside. She's a chaotic element that can throw a wrench in our plans, but she could also be a wrench we can throw in Yagura's plans."

"This mean you aren't going to melt my face off with acid?" Zabuza asked dryly.

Mei scoffed. "Please Zabuza, you're a friend. I'd have killed you with lava."  
\----

I watched the window to Zabuza's room from a distance, Kusanagi at the ready, but Mei walked out of the room with no attempt on anyone's life. She was leaving him alive. Good.

I had fallen into a mental trap. I honestly had been expecting Akatsuki would be the ones to show up. This sort of thing seemed like it would have Kakuzu all over it. I missed the obvious. Zabuza tried to kill the Mizukage and got exiled. Of course the dissidents of Mist would want him. Location wise it was optimum for Mist.

Mei showing up had been pretty low on my expectations.

Which was a failure on my part. The realtor that read a manga in her teenage years overrode what the experience of a 50 year old ninja that trained his whole life thought might be going on. Which I'd probably think was a bad idea if that thinking didn't also say vivisection on children was a great way to pass the time.

"Hey, Boss Lady." Tayuya said as she approached. "Are we compromised?"

"I'm not sure yet." I answered. There was clearly no love lost between Gato and Mei, but I had no idea if she'd go to him and let him know what was going on. "Did he fall for it?"

"Oh yeah. As soon as you left, he threw a tantrum for a while then went to go count his money like a baby sucking on a pacifier. I know where he keeps his stuff now. If you move his bed, pull up his rug, and then remove some specific stones you'll find where he has a big ass safe hidden."

Under his bed? What was this, amateur hour?

"Ara ara! Excellent job, Tayuya-chan." I congratulated, the pink haired girl still clearly didn't know how to take praise. Not sure if it was because it came from me or if it was just because it was praise. "Well lets just hope Mei leaves soon. I don't want to fight her if I don't have to."

"You don't wanna fight her? Shit, who is that lady?" Tayuya asked.

"Terumi Mei. If things go how I expect, she'll be Mizukage within three years." I answer.

"Oh." Tayuya responded. "You..um-"

"No." I interrupt. "I don't want you or Kidomaru to participate in fighting her. You should run if it comes to that."

"Yeah." She said slowly, sounding relived and confused. "Good. Okay."

"You two might need to inconvenience Kakashi or Zabuza though. I'll probably be busy handling her."

"Inconvenience?" She asked.

"Don't go in for the kill. Even together those two have a decent shot of killing you." I answered before continuing with my orders. "Lay low for now. Give Gato some breathing room. Mei will be watching him for a while and we don't need her grabbing you."

"Sure thing. What about you Boss Lady?" She asked.

"I need to pass on a warning and give Kidomaru some orders." I replied.

"Sure. Meet you tonight at the bridge?"

"Yes. Stay safe Tayuya-chan."

I leapt away quickly. Kidomaru needed to be sure he didn't deploy anymore of his spiders. I was very confident that if he did it now it would end with his spiders, and possibly him, being turned into puddles. More importantly I needed to warn Kakashi.

Unlike with Zabuza, Mei could destroy the house and everyone in it with no warning and just a few seconds.

In seconds I found my way to Tazuna's home. For once I didn't release my hold on my chakra and announce my presence beforehand. I simply walked to the door and rapped a knuckle against it. Within moments Sasuke cracked open the door to peek through.

"Hello little boy, is your sensei home?" I chirped.

The door slammed shut.

I gave a soft giggle before a few moments later Kakashi came to the door and half opened it, hiding his right side, which was doubtlessly clutching a weapon just out of view. It really was commendable how much he still clung to his illusion of being able to actually do anything.

"What do you WANT!?" He said with the tone of desperate man screaming at the sky.

"Zabuza called for back-up. A kage level ninja showed up." I stated simply. "Another Mist nin. You might want to keep a closer eye on the kids. I'm gonna disappear."

The man flashed rapidly through a series of emotions before finally settling on a flat stare.

"So you're leaving then?" He asked.

"For now." I replied kindly. "Tell Tsunami-chan I'll catch up with her later."

The level of seriousness I was displaying seemed to be effecting Kakashi. I could actively see the weight of the world stacking up on his shoulders. Poor guy.

"Keep them safe Kakashi-kun."

"Of course." He responded without hesitation.

I leapt away. It appears my vacation in Wave would be coming to an end.


	13. Chapter 13

Sasuke stared in disbelief. He'd made steady progress on climbing the tree. He'd be able to finish before Naruto even managed to go half way, but the blond idiot managed to somehow have huge jumps in skill from nowhere. Naruto would stall for hours at the same height and then suddenly go a full two or three meters higher. Then one night, after Orochitama stopped coming around and the client's grandson acted like a little asshole, Naruto stormed out of the house and stayed gone for the whole night.

Then everything changed.

The moments of Naruto stalling out and making no progress became few and far between. He had developed a zealous focus that Sasuke recognized. A single mindedness that let one ignore all the distractions around them and make real progress. The kind of focus that skipped meals, that didn't notice when people called out to you, that made you unaware of your bleeding fingers and sore muscles. Sasuke knew the look well. He saw it in the mirror often enough.

Naruto having it was just unnatural though. Uzumaki was supposed to be distractible, silly, and unthinking of anything that didn't involve Sakura or ramen. But he and Sakura both struggled to get their teammate away from his training area, much less into the house.

Sasuke had stepped up his own training, doggedly keeping his lead, despite the fact that Naruto seemed able to just keep going, as if the cheerful optimism was just converted to a fuel source that kept him going beyond what anyone should be capable of.

And now Sasuke had lost his lead. Naruto had shot past him by a full meter, and they only had two meters of tree left.

Damn it.

Now he was faced with a choice. Did he risk pride on Naruto getting to the top first? Or did he...ask for help.

A shiver of revulsion ran through him.

No. He wouldn't let pride get in the way. He'd bow his head to even the most terrible of demons if it meant that he could kill It-

If he could kill his enemy.

"Naruto." Sasuke stated. The blond didn't even twitch. "Naruto!" He called again.

"Wha-? Huh?" Naruto turned to look over at him. "What do you want? Is it lunch time?"

"How are you-" the words caught in his chest like a slab of spiked lead. "What are you doing that's helping you advance so quickly?" He growled out. The words tasted bitter.

Naruto blinked a few times before looking up at the two trees. The orange-clad ninja's eyes went wide before he leaned his head back and looked at Sasuke like a tyrannical lord would look at a beggar.

"Huehuehue." Naruto said in an obviously faked laugh. "Need help from your superiors Sauske?"

Sasuke restrained from punching the bastard in his smug face.

"Forget it." He growled out and turned to walk away. He didn't have to deal with this bullshit.

"No. Wait. Stop." Naruto spoke up, voice sounding as reluctant as his own had earlier.

"Why?" Sasuke asked back.

Silence reigned in the clearing for a moment, the cool night air rustled leaves and the sounds of crickets filled the air. Finally Sasuke started to away again.

"We need to help each other. This is...too important. We need to both be as strong as we can." Naruto stated, stopping him in his tracks.

"What?" The only thing restraining him from asking how the Dead Last ever thought he could help Sasuke grow stronger was the simple fact that he's the one that started with asking for help.

"I sent a Kage Bunshin into town." Naruto stated, voice suddenly solemn.

"And?" Sasuke asked, not seeing how the two relate. "Why would you do that anyways?

"I wanted to see if I could find Orochitama or that other ninja she said is hanging around." Naruto responded with a shrug. "So anyways, I sent one to town-"

"You did WHAT?" Sasuke gasped. "Why the hell would you go looking for her? Or for the other S-rank ninja? Do you have any idea what that actually means?"

"What? I just wanted to check on her. She's a friend."

Sasuke placed a hand against his face and sighed. What kind of idiot goes running off to find an S-rank ninja while only a genin?

"She's not our friend Naruto!"

"Anyways!" Naruto said, ignoring his comment, "I sent a kage bunshin into town. I looked around a bit and...It's bad there Sasuke."

"Bad?" Sasuke said, his anger draining away. "Bad how?"

"There was the kid. Like five years old." Naruto looked to the sky and shoved his hands in his pockets. "She was living in a box. An actual box. And she was so thin...even through her clothes I could see her ribs Sasuke."

"There are lots of starving people in the world Naruto." Sasuke stated. Gentle wasn't really something he could manage, he settled for matter-of-fact.

"Maybe." Naruto stated begrudgingly. "But Emiko is only there because Gato killed her parents, then her brother died when he was sick and the night was cold."

"Emiko?" Sasuke asked in confusion.

"The kid." Naruto replied.

"Wait. You talked with her?" He asked in surprise. For some reason he had expected Naruto to just walk away. Keep searching. Not go up and talk with the random homeless kid.

"Yeah." Naruto said. "I took her to Tsunami. She said she'd make sure the girl was taken care of."

"I mean...that's sad Naruto." Sasuke said and he meant it. If nothing else he could understanding wanting to help an orphan. "But what does one girl have to do with the training?"

"It's not just one though." Naruto said. "There was also Old-Man Tadashi, who lives in his son's burned down house. Gin, who's mom killed herself. Haruka, who's missing a leg after a fight with one of Gato's thugs. Renji, a fisherman with no boat now. Daisuke, who-"

Sasuke watched with wide eyes as Naruto continued on, listing person after person. Naruto, who could hardly be bothered to remember someone's name on most days, listed dozens of names and the wrongs done to them. As the list continued Naruto's face sagged and tears began to pour down his cheeks, and Sasuke just watched in astonishment.

Sasuke wanted to ask how Naruto even knew all this. That there was no way that he would have stopped and gotten to know all these people. It was clear that Naruto had done just that, the idiot wasn't smart enough to make that many names and stories on the fly. But a part of him rebelled at the idea that Naruto cared enough to stop and help this weak and helpless civilians.

"And that's why we need to beat Gato! We have to stop this Sasuke! He's starving them! Beating them!" Naruto's hand gripped at his own chest as if desperate to grip his own heart. "Make them live...alone."

Sasuke felt his own heart clinch. Sasuke didn't care for it.

"So what? What does that have to do with you getting up the tree faster?" Sasuke demands.

"Because I know Zabuza will be back. And I know that he's probably not the worst thing that's gonna show up. And I also know that all of that doesn't matter." Naruto stated, standing taller than Sasuke had ever seen him. The blond smacked one fist into the palm of his hand with a meaty smack. "Because even if I gotta fight the Old Man Hokage himself. I'm not leaving these people until Gato is gone!"

All at once Sasuke realized why he had trouble believing Naruto earlier. Why he didn't think that Naruto would stop to help all those random lost souls. The most simple of reasons.

He couldn't imagine doing it himself, and Sasuke just wasn't sure how that made him feel.

"So, what? You think just because you're fighting for these broken strangers that you're stronger now?" He asked to change the subject.

A 500-watt smile came over his face. "I'm beating you, aren't I?"

"Tch." Sasuke said and looked away. Still. Naruto was getting results. "Fine."

Sasuke looked back up the tree. Days of work scaring the tall pine. Sasuke heaved a sigh.

"For the lost and broken strangers." Sasuke stated.

"Nah." Naruto interrupted. "For those forcibly made to be alone."

"For those made to be alone." Sasuke agreed.

He ran at the tree.  
\------

Kakashi leaned against the wall and let his body relax. The aches and pains in his bones were going away. Another night of rest and he'd probably be able to use chakra again without injuring himself. Chakra exhaustion was less like normal fatigue and more like a pulled muscle. It didn't stop you from using it, it just was painful and rushing things could permanently injure you. That said, Zabuza would probably be recovered enough to fight tomorrow as well. Or at least be damn close to it.

How quick a body heals wasn't an exact science.

Kakashi perked up as he felt two presences approach. He instantly recognized them as his students. Partly it was the feel of their chakra. The two had many skills, but neither tended to hide their presence as they walked around.

Though really the major hint to the identity was-

"Kaaaaaakaaaaaashiiiiiiiii." A loud voice yelled through the door before it was violently wretched open, "Sensei!"

That.

He considered getting onto the boys volume, but then he caught sight of the glow on his students face. Even Sasuke's face looked lighter than usual.

"Ma. Did my cute little genin get it?" He asked.

"We nailed it-dattebayo!"

Kakashi couldn't stop his smile. For all that this mission had been a pain in his ass, he couldn't help but be proud of his team. Each of them had grown and changed, allowing him to see the beginnings of the fabulous shinobi that they would become.

"So, which of you got to the top first?" He asked.

"Uhhhh." Naruto droned as he looked at Sasuke, who shared the questioning glace.

Neither of them knew? They didn't pay attention to their rival when they reached the top of the tree?

He honestly wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad one.

"Of course it was me."/"I reached it first." The two stated at the same time.

"Oh come on! I was way in the lead." Naruto bragged.

"For like five minutes before I passed you." Sasuke scoffed.

Fire began to spark in their eyes and Kakashi acted quickly before the two could dissolve into an argument.

"Naruto. If you would, I think Tsunami-san had been asking for you. Could you go see what she needs?" Kakashi asked.

"Huh? Oh. Sure I guess." Naruto answered. "We'll finish this later, ya bastard." With a parting stink eye, Kushina's legacy left the room.

The last loyal Uchiha smirked after Naruto. For once, the scion of the sharigan's face looked more boyish in that moment than he'd ever seen before. It confirmed to him all the more that what he was about to do was the correct course of action.

"Sasuke. Follow me. I need to talk to you."

A professional mask of indifference slid over the boy's face, barely hiding the fear.

God. Was that what he looked liked at that age?

Kakashi walked out to dock just behind the house. The old wood groaned under his feet. He could walk lighter, aim for stepping on the supports in just the right way, and avoid making any sound, but something about the creaking of old wood always just seemed to comfort him.

Sasuke stepped up beside him.

"So. We're in a bad spot." Kakashi stated.

"Hn." Sasuke acknowledged.

"We should probably run." The Copy-Nin continued as he looked out into the water.

Sasuke tensed and didn't respond immediately. Kakashi didn't press it. He let the implication hang in the air as he glance up to the sky. Wave had little light pollution, and the sky was filled with stars. You could even see the subtle glow of light that hung about the stars in only the most deserted of places. Though not quite as bright as the deserts of Suna at night.

"Naruto won't run." Sasuke stated finally.

"I can handle him." Kakashi said. "I'd rather he be alive and pissed than dead."

"I-" Sasuke hesitated before continuing, "I'm not going to run."

Why did the people he cared about always have to be self sacrificing idiots?

"Okay." He said whilst running a hand through his silver hair.

"Okay? That easily?"

Kakashi found the surprise in his voice vaguely insulting.

"Sakura said the same thing earlier, and I'm not heartless. I want to help these people too." His student shifted uncomfortably. "If we stay though, we have to send a message back to Konoha. As soon as humanly possible. It's unlikely, but we could get reinforcements in time."

"Reinforcements?" Sasuke asked in surprise, likely not realizing that was an option. Though he thought on it for a further moment before turning a chin up in defiance. "I'm not taking the message."

"I didn't expect you to." Kakashi took the paper out of his pouch he had been working on all day. A complex array of seals on it's surface.

"A...messaging seal?" Sasuke guessed.

"Of sorts. A summoning seal. With just a bit of my chakra you can use it to summon one of my nin-dogs. But, if you do that, it will mark you. You will be tied to my summons, and could learn to summon them again on your own."

There was a sharp intake of breath.

Good. His student knew the implication. Summons were a deeply personal thing with ninja. Summons aren't often shared with even your closest friends. It was the sort of thing you passed down to your children. To your family.

Or to an apprentice.

An apprentice to a ninja was as good as blood. It was someone beyond just a genin student. It was someone that you trusted not just with your technique, but your way of life, your nindo. If things weren't so dire, he'd never consider doing this. Sasuke was a good kid that needed a lot of help, but it wasn't the sort of thing he'd want to do. Not yet. Not till Sasuke could show himself as worthy of the position.

Multiple S-ranked ninja showing on a C-rank mission tended to change one's priorities though.

"So...I'd be your apprentice." Sasuke stated.

"If you wanted to be. But either way, I need this done. If I do it myself tonight there's a good chance I won't be ready for Zabuza."

"Why me? Why not Sakura or Naruto?"

The very fact he asked that was a fantastic sign.

"While my summoning isn't as intensive as some other's, it still requires more chakra than Sakura can handle right now. And Naruto..." Kakashi trailed off. "Well let's just say Naruto already has someone that wants to be his master."

"Really? Naruto?" Sasuke asked askance.

"It takes all kinds."

"So it's because they aren't well suited." Sasuke said with a nod.

"Yeah." Kakashi acknowledged, "And also because you are a lot like me. Possibly too much."

"Oh."

"Mhm."

The sounds of the night filled the silence. It was a big decision, so Kakashi let him consider it.

Kakashi inhaled deeply. The cool night of Wave made the damp air crisp and invigorating. Kakashi had never been one for fishing, but it made him want to sit somewhere with a cane pole.

"So how do I do it?" Sasuke asked.

Decision made then.

Kakashi settled once more into the role of teacher.  
\----

I gave a stretch of my arms and a hearty yawn before getting out of my hammock. The morning sun not yet having risen. Kidomaru and Tayuya stood up behind me.

The last few days had been incredibly boring, but we had to prepare for everything else to be in place. Communication back to Sound, for things to get in place, to hope that Mei would back out and not get involved. No luck on the Mei front. I'd managed to catch glimpse of her a few times.

One way or the other, things were ending today.

"Kidomaru-kun, are your summons in place?" I asked.

"Yes. Ready to go on the signal."

"Tayuya-chan? You know your target?"

"I'll have him out when you're ready Boss Lady."

I gave a nod. Azuma, my summon I'd left with the exploding tags, hadn't been killed and hadn't reported back, so those were all still in place.

In the distance, I felt chakra moving and killing intent rising.

Earlier than I thought. I'd hoped that I could do this before he recovered.

"You have your missions. Go." I order.

We disperse and I head directly towards the bridge, the center of the conflict.

I arrive about the same time Kakashi and his group do. I find my own dance partner on an island of pure rock a short distance from the bridge. An island that hadn't existed the day before.

I casually make my way over to it. The black stone plateau takes only seconds to climb and I join Mei's side, just out of arm's reach from her.

"So you really are going to start a fight?" Mei asked casually.

"No. I hope to end it if I can." I replied.

"It's a bit late for that, I think."

"Ara ara. It's never too late for that. We just lie to ourselves to feel better about it." I respond again.

Mei scoffs at the idea. Orochimaru would have scoffed too.

"If the fight goes poorly for Zabuza, are you going to jump in?" I asked. It was the key question here. Mei couldn't let people know she was part of the rebellion. They weren't out and fighting Yagura yet. If the Konoha ninja knew it would be an issue. If a spy found it in Konoha's archives it would immediately turn bad. Where as if it was information provided by known traitor and liar Orochimaru, it would be investigated thoroughly first.

If Mei revealed herself to the Konoha team she'd have to kill them to keep her cover safe.

"Yes. We can't lose here."

"Are you sure we can't just share the resource? I have reason for Yagura to be deposed myself."

"Yes, letting you get your claws into Mist could only end poorly. I've seen some of the labs you've had there. You are just as monstrous as Yagura."

"Why must you bully me so, Mei-chan?" I pouted.

Mei's face contorted between expressions of disgust and confusion.

That was a fair reaction from anyone that had seen one of Orochimaru's labs in the land of Mist.

"Ara ara. Such a sour face for your partner for the day." I chided before smoothing my sweater out a bit. The purple turtleneck looking far more appropriate for going to the local grocery store than wearing into battle. "Shall we make each other scream here or relocate a bit?"

Mei glared at me and widened her stance.

"Oh my! This close the children will hear us." I said before giving a tut of disproval. "Voyeurisms is all well and good so long as it's with consenting-"

A wave of lava spewed towards me.

The fight was on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this, you guys are caught up to my other writing. This last chapter was one I had posted on the primary site less than a week ago. Going forward there will be an update probably about once a month. That said I also have a Patreon set up specifically because some of my writings have gotten very popular. You don't have to give and if you don't give chapters will still keep coming. All that is happening here is that as more money comes in, the more I can justify working less hours and instead using that time to write on here. 
> 
> For those interested, here's the link. https://www.patreon.com/WhoaWrites
> 
> If you are a fan of my other works as well it will help with that too.


	14. Chapter 14

Tsunami found herself much busier for the last few days. Wave had long needed a hero to help save them. Apparently that hero took the form of a pale woman and an orange clad loudmouth. Gato had hurt Wave in every conceivable way; financially, physically, but most of all spiritually. The souls' of the people were so beaten and battered, just barely maintaining a spark of hope due to her father's bridge.

Though it seemed that the human spirits was more resilient than she thought.

It had started with Naruto bringing her a child, badly in need of some food and someone to care. Then Tadashi, who she had thought died in the fire with his son. And then another. And another. And another.

Somehow these lost and lonely people managed to be convinced by a twelve year-old that things could be better. The hope in people, once a dying ember, had managed to become a small candle. A fragile flame that winds of adversity could snuff out, but a far cry from what it once was.

The wonders of what a heartfelt speech, a hug, and some food could accomplish.

So, every day, while her father was out working and the ninja were out training she went by the local town hall. The place had been useless for years anyways. Now it was being used to house those that trickling in needing help. Some of the lost came to help other, and find a reason to get up in the morning. Others because they desperately needed help. In the end Tsunami was proud of their work and what she had managed to pull together. Even if Orochitama had managed to disappear.

Kakashi had assured her that her new friend was perfectly safe, but when a woman just disappeared it was rarely for good reasons.

"Tsunami-san? Did we have any of that stew left over? Some of the kids are saying they are hungry." Tadashi asked. The old man having more life in that sentence than any other time in the last two years.

"Sure. Give them another bowl, but water it down just a little since it's their second one." Tsunami responded as she continued to organize the various boxes of food they had left. Even with the entire crate she started out with, feeding more than 30 people every day had a way of running through supplies quickly.

The peace of the simple task of sorting was shattered with a sudden scream of fear. The sort of scream that came from sheer panic and pierced straight into the part of humans that made them form communities and allowed for things like empathy. It let them know that someone was in danger and made you incapable of ignoring that.

Tsunami rushed out of the small kitchen to see two of Gato's wannabe samurai standing at the entrance. One of them raising a sword to cut down Emiko where she lay on the ground, trembling before the two men.

"Stop it!" She shouted immediately as she ran for the small child, ready to throw herself over the girl to protect her from harm.

It took several confused seconds before Tsunami realized that she was not dead nor in pain.

"What the hell Zori!?"

"That's our target dumbass. We're supposed to take her alive."

Tsunami looked up. The two men were familiar on closer inspection. Zori and Waraji were often the enforcers Gato sent out to get something done. Zori, a man with a young face and long unusually well-kept hair, had one hand on his partner's arm, which had apparently saved her life.

"Yeah, but all the rest of these guys are fair game, right?" Waraji asked with the grin of a feral dog. "We don't need them for shit."

The tension in the room became stifling and Tsunami's blood filled with winter's snow. The dozen people in the room looked to around in a panic before every single gaze fell on her with question in their eyes.

"Do whatever you want. But we got a schedule to keep." Zori said with the same tone that she would tell Inari he had five more minutes to play before going home.

These people were here for her, but they were willing to hurt everyone here. No. Not willing. They didn't do this because they had to. They wanted, more than anything to hurt these people. These monsters in men suits hurt her people, her family, until they just enjoyed pain.

"Mom!" Inari yelled, drawing her attention. Her son, her baby, was only barely being held back from running to her by Tadashi. The old man struggling against the desperation of her son.

"Hey! That's the Tazuna's grandkid right? That means I can cut up Mommy right?" Waraji asked with a sneer.

They would hurt her son?

Tsunami stood, reached into her apron and pulled out the one gift Orochitama had left her that wasn't food. She held a kunai in two hand in front of her and did her best to look threatening.

Going by the two men's laughter, she wasn't doing a good job of it.

"Do you even know how to use that?" Waraji sneered.

"I imagine the pointy end goes into the other person." Tsunami threatened. "Now leave! You aren't welcome here!"

"Oh come on. You're a housewife. You don't have it in you." Zori said with a shake of his head.

Tsunami glanced behind her at the rabble of people behind her. A group of cripples, children, and the elderly. None of them could beat the swordsmen. It would be a hopeless fight.

Then she remembered Orochitama's words.

"One of the most powerful weapons in the world." The pale woman had said, a wistful smile on her face as if picturing a fond memory. "Hope has been the cause of the rise and fall of more countries and causes than you can count. Hope is a powerful thing. It makes people act in ways that aren't in their best interest. It makes people stand up. Put their lives on the line. It makes them rise against tyrants."

She was in need of a powerful weapon. The answer of where to find that though came from a much more straight forward source.

Tsunami straightened herself, steeled her resolve and shouted.

"No! I'm a mother protecting her child. There's nothing I can't do." The cold in her veins was banished away with dragon's fire.

"Oh, come now. You can't-" Zori started to say.

His companion cut him off. "No. She's got it in her." Waraji's scared face, if anything, grew more predatory from this realization.

"Everyone." She said, more confident now than she'd ever been in her life. "I could die here, but that's okay. I have something back that Wave had lost. We've lost our hope and we've been desperate for someone to bring it back but..." A blonde child with eyes of steel flashed in her mind. "Hope is something we give ourselves! And if you don't believe me, I'll show you now!"

Tsunami stepped forward. She couldn't win this fight, but she had a chance at making them loose. Waraji was going for a thrust of his sword. If she threw herself onto the strike she could bury the knife in his throat.

But luck favored Tsunami. The swordsman stumbled at the last second, letting out a cry of surprise for just a moment as his sword went wide and his thrust hit only a little of her clothing, but his stumble also brought his neck onto her knife that much faster. Blood's stench filled the air and in spite of the man's death being her exact intentions she found herself surprised at his sudden demise.

"What?" Zori asked with as much surprise as she felt.

The the rest of her victim's weight fell forward and Tsunami struggled to keep hold of her knife, until it finally ripped out the side of his neck. The blood splattered all over her front and her hand dripped with freshly spilled life.

"H-hey! You'll pay for-"

A frying pan filled with the boiling left overs from breakfast came into her field of vision before dumping it's contents into Zori's face. The hot skillet followed a second after.

The burn covered arms of Tadashi came into view next as they lifted up and smashed into Zori. The attack was uncontrolled and chaotic. Zori managed to get maneuver his sword into the way of kitchen tool, though his other hand was placed on the blade of the weapon to stop the blow. Then Inari, Haruka, and Gin started to beat on the man with crutches, a broom, and a rolling pin.

Before the man could turn his sword against her overly enthusiastic son she ran up, hefted back a leg, and kicked Zori in the head as hard as she could.

He stopped moving.

The whole interaction had taken less then three minutes from the moment she walked into the room, and yet somehow Tsunami felt like she had done a full days hard labor.

"Is-" She cut off to take a wheezing breath. "Is everyone okay?"

She got a brief round of confirmations.

"Good. We can't stay here now. We have to-" Tsunami stopped. Take these people where? She couldn't take them home. Maybe she could go down to the old fishing docs?

"Now we take the fight to them, right?" Inari asked. She snapped her gaze to him. The boy stood tall, even as he struggled to lift Waraji's blade. Her baby's hand's were covered in blood from the weapon's hilt. The blood she had spilt.

She wanted to pull him away. Lock him in his room and keep the boy from ever touching a blade ever again, but Inari's eyes shown with so much optimism it was almost blinding.

"We go now! If they attacked us they probably attacked the ninja! Gato will be focused on that! Now is when we attack! Now we take back our home!" Inari shouted with a fervor that had everyone latch on to his words and the hope they craved. Everyone here was desperate for hope and they drank of it deeply. There would be no stopping this at this point.

Tsunami grasped the bloody katana and gently took it from the boy's hands.

"Find what weapons you can!" She shouted and pointed the sword towards the door. "Out to the town! Gather everyone one we can! Today, Wave belongs to the people again!"

Those broken, beaten, and alone then armed themselves with table legs, kitchen knives, and pitchforks. Then they went to war. She just hoped that Naruto, so wise beyond his years and yet so very young, was doing okay.  
\----

"Hey, Sasuke, I'm here to rescue you!" Naruto bragged.

"Naruto! You idiot! If you stayed on the outside we could have attacked on two fronts!" Sasuke snarled. Why did he have to get settled with the teammate that was dumb as a sack of hammers.

"Eh? I came in to help you! You ungrateful ba-"

An explosion detonated in the near distance. The mist was too heavy to see what was causing it, but it glowed hot like fire and was bright enough to be seen even through the mist. But the glow dropped to the water like a lead weight, where the water hissed like an angry cat.

His only consolation was that the masked ninja seemed to find the light show just as distracting. Apparently the hunter-ninja wasn't sure what was going on with that either or was just very worried about it. As long as it remained an unknown it might throw them off balance. Distract them enough that Sasuke had a shot at him.

"Hey, Sasuke. You think that's Orochitama and that S ninja that made her stop coming around?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke resisted the urge to just let a needle kill him.

"Naruto. Don't offer up information to the enemy!"

"What? Whoever she's fighting is probably with them, right?" Naruto asked in confusion.

That was probably true.

"We don't know that. Hell, it could be that it's Orochitama trying to kill us and reinforcements from Konoha arrived and she's fighting them."

"Psh, nah." Naruto once again put his fingers together and summoned a dozen clones, all of which spoke in unison. "Snake Lady is totally on our side."

A senbon needle flew at Sasuke's eye, and he barely jerked an arm up in time to deflect the weapon.

"You aren't in the position for a leisurely chat." The masked ninja reminded before releasing a flurry of needles, this time the needles just a little bit slower than before. Be it distraction, fatigue, or Sasuke growing used to his opponent, but he was beginning to catch up.

"Naruto. I have a plan. Buy me time." Sasuke said, straining his eyes.

"No problem! I can keep this up for hours!" Naruto yelled as clones once again filled the dome of ice.

Things were still dicey, but they were gaining an edge. He just had to hope that he'd nail the timing and take ice user out.  
\-----

The person who makes the first move has the advantage. This is true for everything from Shogi to war. Being able to set the pace was good. Blowing your enemy apart with the first blow because they underestimated you is even better.

So Mei didn't hold back. She flashes through a few hand signs and releases a giant wave of lava at her foe, hoping to score a debilitating hit out of the gate would be good, but getting breathing room is better. She doesn't personally know much about how Orochimaru fights, but Mei herself does her best work in the middle distance.

Her dual blood bloodline allowed for two spectacular area denial techniques. Her taijutsu, while not terrible, was far from her strong suit, if only because she rarely found a need to use it while they fell to the ground screaming as their skin melted off.

Mei leaps back and away as soon as she finishes her technique. Her own lava blocks her view and S-ranked ninja were not something that you treat like they aren't going for the kill.

Mei's hand's rushes through a familiar pattern and acid mist rises from her skin, the veil of death surrounding her even as her feet hit the water.

Then a loud bang came from the direction of her lava. The wave broke in the middle and the molten rock splattered in all directions, causing Mei to take another several steps back herself. The lava falls into the water with angry hissing and the air fills with steam.

Across from her stood her pale opponent, no worse for ware. Wearing a soft smile, lightly fanning herself.

"Ara ara. In a hurry to make things hot and steamy Mei-chan? We should at least have drinks first."

Mei narrows her eyes. Few ever think to fight her lava with force and making it scatter. Though generally that's because they were too busy thinking "Oh god, I'm going to die!"

Still, that sort of explosion would require a large amount of chakra, though the added steam in the air wouldn't be doing her any favors. Extra moisture saturation began to dilute her acid mist, which was part of the reason she let Zabuza kick his fight off first. He pulled all the moisture in the area over to his location.

"I see you have this whole slutty mommy figure thing going on. How very drab. I'm not the usual desperate souls that pay you for a night." Mei taunts.

The Sannin gave an exaggerated gasp. "Slutty mommy thing? My word. I can't believe you'd accuse me of such a thing. I'm really just going for more of a mature womanly aura."

Mei releases a billow of acid in response, the mist closing in on her opponent.

"Mature? Perhaps in the the same since twelve year-olds sneak around with 'mature' magazines." Mei stated as she followed up the acid with four globs of lava that shot around the missing-nin to box her in for the rolling mist.

Orochimaru simply stands there as the acid rolls in, skin sloughing off as it hissed and turned brown.

A mud clone!

Mei throws herself to the side as a sword bursts from the water. The blade extending several meters from the water and who knew how far it went under.

That attack came close to-

Mei noticed something off about the sword. It had a dozen exploding tags along it's length and the tags were half a meter from her face. Then, the sword retracted with an even greater speed, helpfully leaving behind a small cloud of pyrotechnic eagerness.

Distance wouldn't be enough for an explosion that close. Mei pushes herself back even as a single hand sign causes the water between herself and the tags swell into a half-dome around the seals, directing the shape of the explosion away from her.

Though the explosion took longer to go off than she'd anticipated. Her foe was either not well versed in exploding tags or...or they were trying to manipulate her into a position!

Mei dashed away as the water under her surged upwards, revealing six cut logs, dragged to the surface by their buoyancy.

All the logs were also coated with a liberal application of exploding tags.

Splinters of wood shattered into every direction. Or at least they did for the brief moment they weren't ash. A quick fireball turning the projectiles into harmless dust. Though the explosions and water vapor were doing terrible things for her acid mist.

"Oh, I'm glad you knew how to protect yourself from my wood exploding all over you." The annoyingly cheerful voice called.

The joke made her eye twitch. It was low tier body humor, which truly was the lowest form of comedy.

"How uncouth. You have adopted the look of a mature woman, but clearly on the inside you are a twelve year-old boy that just learned he can say things about his parent's private activities."

Mei followed up the comment with a fireball. As the space between Orochimaru and herself ignited, Mei's hand flashed through seals.

Before Mei could get the technique off her fireball was taken care of in an explosion of water. Considering she hadn't seen any hand signs, that probably meant her offence was taken out by an exploding tag. Again.

"Suiton: Dueling Dragons!"

The water to either side of her foe bulged up until two serpentine forms made of water spiraled out and around the pale woman. They travelled at a break neck pace and swirled inward to rend flesh with their jaws. Though if one touched any part of the dragons they'd find that part of them missing in short order.

Mei attempted to throw in another ninjutsu to drop on her foe, but in moments her dragons were destroyed in an explosion of water and wind.

Standing in the same place, her foe flipped her wind tussled hair and straightened her untouched outfit.

"Futon: Great Breakthrough." The woman said, apparently in explanation to what happened to the water trying to bite her head off.

Mei restrained herself from attacking again. A difficult task for her, since she usually played where offence was the best defense. Her foe was stopping her ninjutsu at ever step, but the woman was also playing on defense. The only attacks thrown by the Sannin were to get Mei to move and to disperse the acid cloud. It was unusual. Even the most defensive shinobi through out attacks more often than that.

Internally she molded her chakra for an attack and then waited. It was time to see what her opponent would do when given the opportunity to go on the offensive.

"Ara ara." The woman said, passing a hand through her hair. "It's getting so steamy. My hair is going to frizz. Not the look I was hoping to have later today."

Her hair? This was a fight, not a day at the spa.

"Don't worry. You won't have to worry about your hair much longer." Mei taunted.

"Really, Mei-chan? With that coiffure? You must know that a woman always worries about her hair."

Mei did grant that line some credence. For a woman in the male dominated shinobi world it was not merely enough destroy your opponents, but you also had to look good doing it.

"Yes, well the dead are beyond such worries." Mei commented as she lowered her arms further, opening herself more for an attack.

An attack that didn't come.

Her opponent just stood there with a serene smile. "There is no need for either of us to die here Mei-chan. Just let the fight on the bridge resolve without interference."

The bridge fight? That's it? That's all she's asking for? That couldn't be right.

The woman was stalling for something clearly, and it wasn't this fight. The bridge fight might be something she cares about, but there's no way she was here just to make sure three brats didn't die to Zabuza.

Mei's mind raced as she tried to think things through. Continuing the fight would just draw out the clock longer on whatever it was that Orochimaru was going for. She wanted Gato's company. There was no way she'd actually be able to do that though, Gato had insured that there was no way to have the business just be signed over to another person. Gato dies, the whole business fails.

"Just wanting me to sit back? Sounds like the logic of someone who thinks she will loose. Running out of exploding tags?" Mei asked.

It was a strong possibility for why she was wanting the fight to end. Exploding tags weren't cheap and she had been burning through them the entire fight. However someone of Orochimaru's caliber didn't need those to stall a fight. They probably knew hundreds of ways to be a slippery bitch.

No, the business was the key.

"Oh no. It just seems a waste of effort when I recently found this nice box of exploding tags going to waste in one of Gato's warehouses. So I figured I'd let that do the work for me." Orochimaru said before raising a single hand to her mouth and let out a soft giggle.

Wait. A box of...

Son of a bitch! The woman was holding her off with MIST'S EXPLODING TAGS!

So now, the longer the fight went on and the more Mei fought, the more those exploding tags would dwindle.

She cursed her decision to keep them in the warehouse. She had thought it the right decision. The rebellion needed food, clothing, and shelter. She figured the tags were safer elsewhere and it would be better to keep them offsite since they weren't needed until the big day. After all, food and clothes can be explained away. A giant crate of exploding tags was more difficult to explain.

But now that decision was blowing away her lava and her mist with judicious use of explosions.

She'd be impressed if it didn't piss her off so much.

"You are fighting me...with weapons we bought?" Mei growled out.

"Maybe pay on delivery next time?" Orochimaru offered. "Or maybe don't do business with tyrannical businessmen with an inferiority complex? The second one seems better advice."

Mei let out a scream of rage and launched a deluge of lava at her opponent. Then immediately aimed elsewhere.

The conversation had also made something click for Mei.

What was a business but it's assets? That was the misdirect. She was here stalling so that she could go for the docks and all it's cargo. And whoever was doing that probably wasn't nearly as strong as Orochimaru.

It was time for Mei to take advantage of her greatest strength.

Ninjutsu with area of effect techniques grew far more deadly when one had to worry about their allies positions.

With that, Mei launched three ship sized balls of lava the almost completed bridge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter done. Fight scenes are hard. That took me forever to complete.
> 
> Also, my patreon has now been up for about a month! It's thanks to them that this got posted, because I've been super busy and I really was wanting to play Fire Emblem: Three Houses much more than I was wanting to do this. But after all the support from my paetron's I couldn't let them down. In particular I owe a shout out to Alethiophile! Who made a pledge of the staggering $12 dollars a month! Thank you so much!
> 
> With my current Paetron's I will try to handle one update a month at least. However since the election real estate hasn't been great, so I'm picking up more and more temp jobs. If you want to support for more frequent updates, feel free to donate at my patreon. Also participate in discussions on Space Battles Forum! 
> 
> https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/orochimama-naruto-si.858340/


	15. Chapter 15

I curse internally as I see the globs of lava fly off towards the bridge. I had been hoping that Mei wouldn't capitalize on one of her major strengths. Collateral damage.

The woman was unparalleled in her ability to cause huge areas of damage. Even with me fighting the woman defensively she wouldn't be easy to take out. Most all of my attacks I sent to injure she dodged entirely. I wouldn't have such an easy time shutting her down if I was actually trying to kill her in a timely manner. But because I was playing defensive and had a metric fuck ton of exploding tags, so far I had been able to keep her offensive from getting rolling.

The lava was flashy and dangerous to be sure, but the mist of acid was her real killer. She could sit in the middle of it and make anyone approaching her die a quick but messy death. Add in the fact that she had good control of fire, water, and earth, that lead to a quick death spiral if you let her build up to it.

If we were indoors this fight wouldn't be going nearly as well.

I had been specifically trying to ruffle Mei's feathers to get her to focus on me more, because the fight grew harder when I had to not only defend myself, but the bridge as well.

The attack was big, but it was also relatively slow. A jounin would be able to handle the attack only slightly singed. Kakashi and Zabuza would come out fine. Considering Haku and ice shields and could basically teleport, the young masked ninja wasn't in danger. The three genin and their civilian client? Not so much.

The attack on the bridge changed the game. Rashomon couldn't be summoned, the angle was wrong and it took a few moments for me to prep the summon.

I fling three kunai at the lava, each loaded up with exploding tags.

The three knives do a decent job of blowing apart the lava, but some of the scattered bits of molten death would still scatter over the bridge.

"Suiton: Great Water Explosion!" I call as I run through hand signs.

The waves below the attack exploded as fat drops of water shot up in defiance of gravity, like someone had set off a deep sea charge.

The technique was chakra intensive for me, particularly since I did not have a water nature. Even with the cost it was only mostly effective. More than a dozen baseball sized lumps of lava fell to the bridge as well as a cascade of wet stones.

I could only hope that the interruption didn't hurt the Konoha team's chances. Especially since Mei took my brief distraction as a chance to bolt towards the dock. But, because she was heading towards town too, I couldn't get too close, or the citizens of Wave would have death raining down on their heads.

I might be able to reverse summon myself to Azuma, the Eastern Brown Snake I'd left watching the exploding tags, but I held back. I didn't want to run the risk that this was a fake out and Mei was actually heading to Gato's hideout, where Tayuya should be wrapping up.

So I pursued and hoped things worked out on the bridge.  
\-----

Sakura looked back and forth from the mist in the bridge to the explosions and flashes happening out over the water. So much was happening all at once and she just wasn't sure the best thing to do, because all her options felt like losing options.

If she went to help Sasuke, Tazuna would be left alone and killed. If she jumped into Kakashi's fight she'd probably get herself and Kakashi killed. If she tried to leave the bridge with Tazuna her and the bridge builder would suddenly become the highest priority target. And the fight happening in the water...well she could effect that about as much as a single skipping stone could effect the course of a river.

The only thing she could do was sit and wait. To look for an opportunity to be useful. The logic of her mind told her that she was being useful. It just didn't feel that way.

"Are there some sort of gods fighting down there?" The gruff voice of Tazuna asked, sounding painfully sober for the first time since she met him. The bridge builder was looking off to the side of the bridge.

"No." Sakura said, trying to sound sure of herself. "It is just the height of what a ninja can be."

A height that Sakura couldn't imagine herself ever reaching.

Was she even really cut out to be a ninja? If there were people like this arou-

Those were really big balls of fire headed to them! Ninja training kicking in, she shoved down any panic and tackled Tazuna to the ground and did her best to cover him.

A series of explosions sounded, far closer than any yet. Then an iron poker was jammed into her.

A glance up to another spot on the bridge told her what happened. A fist sized dollop of lava sat cooling on the bridge.

That wasn't good. Lava would do more damage the longer it was on her, as it continued to burn further and further into her skin and muscles. The spot on her back, just beside her left armpit, was screaming pain. Sakura saw white and fought the urge to vomit. She could barely think, which is the only reason she could take the action she did so quickly.

She grabbed a kunai with her right hand, brought it under her arm, and yanked down, removing the lava and small layer of skin and fat.

Sakura let out a scream of pain so intense that she could taste blood.

But she couldn't just lay there. There was a fight going on. If she fell here, someone would die. Probably her. She stood to her feet.

"What! Why did you- by the gods, you're bleeding!" Tazuna stumbled onto his feet.

"No shit!" She growled before digging a hand into a pouch. She took out a roll of bandages and a pack of pain killers.

Tazuna looked up to her in surprise. Apparently he didn't expect her tone.

Well when he got a chuck of his back cut out, he could curse too! She ripped open the pack of pain pills and took four. More than the prescribed amount, but it wouldn't impede her more than the pain would. She threw the bandages to Tazuna before stepping in front of him, fresh kunai raised at the ready.

Her old one was...

She stopped herself from vomiting.

"Wrap the bandage over my opposite shoulder and over the wound. Try not to get in the way."

"W-what? You need to sit down! You're wounded!"

"Tazuna." She interrupted, voice horse. "I can't sit down. If I'm not ready, one of them will try to kill us when we aren't paying attention. If I don't do this we will DIE!"

Sakura blinked away tears. She didn't have time to cry right now!

"I...I'm so sorry." Tazuna choked out.

"Then be sorry while you bandage me." She growled.

Tazuna only hesitated for a moment more and stood up and did as requested.

She just hoped the others were doing well. Even if she stood a chance fighting the Hunter-nin before, she sure as hell didn't stand one now.  
\-----

Sasuke had seen better days.

He had memories of a small sack of tangled yarn that his mother had always put her sewing needles into. Until now he'd never felt sorry for the yarn.

But he was getting close. The Hunter Nin was either getting slower or he was starting to get a hang of his movements. It wouldn't take much longer now.

Sasuke had thrown four fireballs in the fight already, and he was beginning to feel it. The strain of trying to dodge wasn't doing him any favors either. He couldn't keep this up forever.

"Come on! I'll get you this time! Kage Bunshin!" Naruto yelled, throwing yet another wave of shadow clones out to buy them time.

He had no idea how many times the blond had managed that so far. More than twenty, at least. Just how much energy did the loudmouth have?

A flash of fire reflected in one of the mirrors, and Sasuke watched his foe closely.

Every time something loud happened in the fight at the water, the ice user grew distracted. The slight turn of the masked figure showed that the pattern held. The nin was very invested in the battle down in the water.

That could be an advantage.

Damned if he could figure out what that advantage was though.

"Hey!" Naruto demanded. "If you're so concerned about Zabuza, why do you keep looking over there?"

Sasuke looked to his teammate in surprise.

He wouldn't have thought Naruto capable of noticing that.

"That fight will be the one to decide how this all turns out." The enemy answered. "Everything that happens here won't matter if our respective member down there fails."

Sasuke doubted that their side would exactly "win" even if Orochitama won.

At least he hoped one of the people down there was Orochitama. He'd hate for there to have somehow been a third person to show up that could do all that.

"Then why are we fighting? We could just wait until Orochi-Lady wins. Why fight at all?!"

Sasuke stood behind his teammate, staring hard at the ice mirrors. Looking for some sign. Some weakness to exploit. He could almost taste how close he was to unraveling this thing.

"Because I was ordered to. A tool does as it's told."

What was Naruto playing at? Was he trying to get the enemy to stand down?

"That's bullshit! You're such an idiot!" Naruto yelled.

Nope. Not standing down.

"If all you cared about was being a good tool to survive, and you cared about this fight, you'd be down there right now, trying to make an opening against Orochi-lady." Naruto's hands waved wildly with his emotion.

That was actually a solid point. If Orochitama was the threat, the three nin would be best served throwing all the power they could at her.

"Naruto." Sasuke hissed. "Stop giving the enemy tactical advice!"

Naruto didn't even glance at him.

"But you don't care about the mission." Naruto continued. "You care about Zabuza! If you leave us, we'll be able to help Kakashi-sensei. You aren't a tool! You care about Zabuza and are willing to risk the mission to save him!"

Sasuke wasn't so sure that was the reason, but Naruto's logic was, shockingly, sound. What had happened to his teammate over the course of this mission?

The enemy hesitated.

"You're right." The enemy responded with the sad voice of winter. "I care for Zabuza more than anything. Thank you for reminding me of my priorities. I must finish you quickly."

Several things happened at once. The ice user began to shoot out of one of the mirrors just as an explosion rocked overhead. Sasuke's eyes finally managed to get a decent glimpse of the enemy moving.

Which also let him see a steaming stone fall into the path of their foe. The speed at which they were moving, resulted in a thunderous crack.

Something from the fight below. Which always resulted in a distraction.

Sasuke once again bolted for one of the gaps in the cage of mirrors.

And this time, he succeeded.

The images of the Hunter Nin was once more in all the mirrors, though they all had a crack in their mask stretching about a finger's length.

Sasuke smiled in triumph. Now they could fight from two sides.

"So. You were able to get out. I was sloppy."

"Thanks for that." Sasuke smirks. "A mistake I'll make you regret!"

Now they had a shot.  
\-----

Mei was concerned. The Snake Sannin was keeping their distance from her, making no attempt to close the gap that formed between them as she ran through the small town.

It's almost as if the woman cared about the villagers' well being, but that didn't seem very likely.

Or, possibly more concerning, is that she had some sort of intention on village. That might be something she has to look to. But not a thought she could afford to spare currently. Whatever the hesitation was, it allowed her to keep and even gain a little bit of a lead on her dash to the docks.

Docks that were apparently being overrun by spiders.

Hundreds of creepy crawlies the size of a cat crawled everywhere the eye could see. Mei shivered in revulsion and barely restrained from taking her first action of burning them all immediately.

The last thing she needed was their product burn to the ground.

Instead she shaped a dragon of water from the sea and had it plow through the webs, chomping at errant spiders with hungry jaws.

Mei leaped through the hole left open by her attack and spotted something.

Ninja. Plural. Dozens of them.

And all of them pausing in their work to see her dramatic entrance. All of them either holding a storage scroll, or putting some of the boxes from the warehouse into a storage.

The ninja all wore a forehead protector with a musical note on it, and they had already completely cleaned out one of the warehouses.

That's why Orochimaru was stalling. This wasn't about the bridge. It was about the company. Stealing all of the companies assets is almost the same thing as stealing the company itself.

Mei had to stop this now, before they hit any more of Gato's warehouses.

Well, if there was one thing Mei did know, it was how to deal with a large group of enemy ninja in one go.

"Yoton: Lava Bomb!"

The dense ball of lava leapt from her mouth, set to explode in the midst of the enemy outside, killing most of the ninja.

Instead a glob of an odd golden material intercepted the attack, carrying the lava into the ocean, where it sunk with hissing cracks.

Mei turned to look where it came from. Another ninja, dressed like the rest, stood there with six arms, red skin, and three eyes stood before her. The man's chakra wasn't particularly impressive but what was there felt potent in a way she hadn't ever encountered before.

His chakra also felt foul and hungry for death.

"What are you?" She asked in disgust.

"You know the plan. Scatter!" The red creature ordered, sending the ninja scurrying with just their storage scrolls. Anything not sealed was left behind.

Mei was pleased to note that the warehouse with the Mist's supplies appeared to still be full. They hadn't gotten to it yet.

But she had time to prepare here. There was not the mist in the air that there was at the last fight, diluting her acid cloud. She just needed to clean up the trash quickly, all the while building up her defense.

"You should consider serving a new master. This one is about to get you killed." Mei taunted.

The monster laughed. "That's rich, coming from you."

Mei's lips twitched.

"True enough. But that's going to change soon. Too bad you won't live to see it." Mei stated, "Yoton: Burning Cloud!"

A rolling cloud of mist began to billow out from her, barely visible in the sunlight. Anyone caught in the mist would die the first time they breath it in. Acid did terrible things to the lungs.

Her foe, realizing the danger, leapt back and fired an arrow of the same golden material from before. The spiraling missile almost cracking the air like a whip. An impressive shot from an arrow.

Mei grabbed it out of the air with one hand.

She released the arrow as it began to bubble and melt. The monstrous man stared at her in shock. She blew him a kiss.

A surge of her acid went with it.

Then the man vomited that same gold substance all over himself. The substance spreading over his body quickly in an improvised armor. Intelligent. It would let him weather her acid if he covered his eyes too.

Then he charged at her, catching her by surprise, so much so his hand managed to brush against her hair; doing no damage to it thankfully.

She grabbed the appendage he had helpfully given her. With her free hand she slammed his stomach and released a torrent of lava. His body went flying back. His arm stayed in her hand.

"You should have run like the rest of them." Mei tsked.

"Yes. He should have." A familiar voice called. "Futon: Wind Wall!"

A surge of wind blew through the area, making Mei stick herself to the ground with chakra to keep herself from being blown away. If she'd reacted in time, she'd have manage to send a fire ball into it and at her foe. Instead the wind blew away her gathered acid and brought her once again to even footing with Sannin.

Said Sannin was ignoring her.

"Kidomaru-kun." The woman said with the tone of voice that might be expected of a mom that found her child had stolen her kunai and hurt themselves. A voice of chiding and fear. The Snake Sannin was pressing a hand to the stump of the missing arm; the bottom arm on the right.

The closest Mei had seen to an opening yet.

"Yoton: World Shaking Blast!" Mei shouted, releasing her strongest technique forward and immediately leaped backwards.

She was in the blast radius.

The lava consumed her vision and the various warehouses were now on fire, the webs placed around were being consumed by flame. And that was before it had even hit anything. The air was ripped asunder as the technique hit. The very ocean and land shaking from the force. The blowback threw her out towards the ocean. Not enough to hurt her, but the blowback was more extreme than she expected.

That is, until she saw the massive gate with an angry face emblazoned on it.

The Snake Summoner walked around from behind the gate, a now much less monstrous ninja in a bridal carry. A frown on the pale woman's face.

"Was all this really necessary?" Orochitama asked sadly, gesturing to the burning buildings.

"You aren't an opponent I can take lightly." Mei acknowledged. The only respect she was currently willing to give. But the level of care being shown for a subordinate is not one Mei would have guessed Orochimaru capable of. Something was wrong.

"Well, once again, ninja burn down a resource rather than share it." Orochitama shakes her head. "You want it so bad, there is still a half filled container of exploding tags in there. Have at it."

With that, the other woman began to walk away.

Well that was a trap if she'd ever heard of one. No one just hands over a resource like that, regardless of how kind they were.

But for the same reason no one would hand it over, she also couldn't ignore it.

Mei took a moment to release a water technique into the air to douse the flames on the warehouses. It worked, but the buildings wouldn't stand for long. Warehouses weren't exactly built to do much but stop wind and rain.

Mei found the crate, exactly where she last saw it. Top open and everything.

She checked the box for seals or active tags.

Nothing.

She checked under it for any sort of pressure plate.

Nothing.

She got a broom from nearby and poked it into the box, and even tipped it in several directions.

Nothing.

Whatever trap was there, she couldn't sense it.

Finally, Mei had no choice. She had to act quickly. Orochitama might have just left here to finish the fight with Zabuza. She needed to move now, and get back to the bridge.

She took the gamble.

Mei grabbed hold of the crate and began to pick it up to move it on to one of her storage seals. As she did, she felt akin to two needles jamming into her hand.

Mei screamed and pulled her hand back, a brown snake now dangling from the appendage.

"I fucking knew it!" Mei yelled before she fell to the ground gasping. Neurotoxin making it difficult to breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special shout out to my two Patreons that donated at the ten dollar tier! Dillion and alethiophile! You guys rock, as well as all my other paetrons. Its them that made sure you even got a second chapter this month because I didn't want to let them down.
> 
> Thank you so much!
> 
> I also recommend visiting the story on Spacebattles Forum, I'd love for people to participate in the discussion and interact.   
> https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/orochimama-naruto-si.858340/


	16. Chapter 16

Momochi Zabuza did not care for how his fight was turning out. He'd had the advantage for a while, he'd thought. He'd managed to make the Copy Ninja bleed. If he could drag the fight out the Copy Ninja might even bleed out from the hit he got in when Mei's little light show ignited over the bridge.

But just when he was feeling confident dogs, not wolves, fucking dogs, burst out of the ground and fixed him in place with jaws that bit down to bone. The dogs could easily kill him from their positions, numerous important veins were inches from ivory jaws of the six dogs latched onto his body. It would be a bloody and painful way to go.

Kakashi showed himself to be either very thorough or too softhearted to have a man be ripped limb from limb. The Konoha ninja was gathering chakra in his hand, so much that Zabuza could see it with the naked eye. Then light began to spark and scream.

He was out of tricks. He was going to die. There was no way that Kakashi would be able to miss and there was no way an attack of that power wouldn't kill him.

He would die, and he couldn't help but be surprised on what his last thoughts were turning towards. Not past regrets. Not how his ambitions would go unfulfilled. Not even a last compliment to his opponent.

All he could think was that it was good that Mei and Orochitama would probably pick up Haku after he died.

Then an ice mirror manifested beside him.

His tool, his apprentice, didn't get a chance to touch the ground before hand wreathed in lighting punched straight through Haku.

Blood splattered against Zabuza's face, even as the hounds holding him disappeared in a puff of smoke.

The attack missed Zabuza entirely, but he felt it pierce his heart. Haku would die. A wound like that couldn't be fixed, too many vital organs were in the chest. Haku would die. For him.

He buried his emotion.

"Well done Haku." He congratulated, hoping his apprentice could hear it.

Then he swung his sword to cut through both Kakashi and Haku. The Copy Nin leaped back, cradling the limp body in his arms as he did so. A meaningless gesture to a corpse.

"Wait!" Kakashi called. "He isn't-"

"Save me your platitudes Hatake." Zabuza shook his head and took a step forward. His body screamed at him. The muscles responsible for moving his legs had been mauled by the mutts from before. Walking, much less running, would be painful for a while.

"Demon of the Mist?" A voice mocked from the mist before Gato and more than three dozen thugs walked forward. "I see your reputation was undeserved."

Gato was here? Why? He should be hiding somewhere so the snake slithering around didn't get him.

Then again, it's not like he could hide anywhere on the island that would keep him safe. But arriving at the site of a ninja battle with thugs didn't seem like his thing. He only cared about power and money.

"Why are you here Gato? This is my fight."

"Ha! A fight you are losing." Gato stated as he walked forward, strolling towards where Kakashi had placed Haku's body. Ill intent towards the corpse.

Just because Haku had...humiliated Gato and almost broke his wrist.

Fuck. Gato was here to kill them all because of his wounded pride. He didn't want to kill the moron. No, that wasn't correct. He really wanted to kill him, but his goals mandated that he not. The Mist rebellion would still have use for him.

"Leave Gato. I'll still give you the bridge builder's head."

"No. I'm going to clean up your mess. And take out all you bleeding and tired ninja in one go." The man sneered.

Well if he was that stupid, no saving him now.

"Ara ara, you really haven't been paying attention, Gato-san." Zabuza turned and watched as Orochitama approached, a pale and twitching Mei thrown over her shoulder with all the care of a bag of rice. The answer to how that fight went apparent, as Tama appeared to be untouched minus some frizzy hair.

"Who the fuck are you?" Gato asked in surprise, though the man seemed to realize that he might actually be in some trouble, because he began to slowly step back.

"Why Gato! I'm the one who just took your empire."

The business tycoon looked confused.

Then the sound a flute split the air and giant oni of bulging muscle with a blindfold landed on the bridge. A meter wide safe sat under the thing's arm like a kid holding a soccer ball.

"Is that-" Gato started.

"Your own personal safe where you've stored all your liquid cash and valuable items? Why yes it is." The Sannin says as she dumps Mei's body and examines her fingernails.

Then another Orochitama appeared, a solid clone of some sort. More importantly was what this copy was holding. Under her arm, wriggling like an unruly sack of potatoes, was Haku. His apprentice was alive.

"What? How did-" he had seen and smelled blood. He wasn't aware of any clones that allowed for that.

Zabuza glanced to the body from before. It rested in a pool of blood. Too much blood. Kakashi should have pierced it through the heart, which should have stopped most of the bleeding.

"Oh that? Just a Blood Clone. Terribly messy things without much use. They require blood equal to their mass to be made. A local boar donated to the cause." Orochitama stated, Haku still under her arm and hanging his head in embarrassment.

All his energy seemed to leave him at once. He was tired. He was sore. He had no reason to fight anymore, and the only person in the world he gave half a damn about was alive.

This job sucked. He was over Wave.

"Where the hell did you get my safe? You think some illusion will scare me!" Gato shouted.

"Ara ara! Of course I don't expect that to scare you." The snake woman said as she released Haku. The woman took slow, deliberate steps towards the shipping tycoon. A smile that would look kind, if not for her cold eyes. "I plan on handling that part myself."

Oh yeah. Him. Well, it wasn't his problem anymore.  
\----

His fight ended abruptly, in a way he half expected, and one of the most powerful ninja to ever turn traitor was threatening a group of civilian thugs. There was a lot there Kakashi figured he should care about. The major thing capturing his attention was the unconscious woman tied up on the Sanin's shoulder.

Terumi Mei. One of Mist's few S-ranked ninjas. One that was still a part of Mist and absolutely shouldn't have be cavorting with one her villages worst traitors. Meaning there was either a new S-ranked traitor about, Zabuza was just a deniable asset, or this was about the rumors he'd been hearing about a budding rebellion in Mist. None of these options were good and had the possibility of breaking the tenuous balance between the various hidden villages.

This was well out of his paygrade, much less his student's paygrade.

"You think I'm gonna get scared off by a pair of tits and some illusions?" Gato sneered.

It was refreshing to see some constants though. Some people were just too dumb to live.

"Oh Gato, you flatterer." Orochitama said in a far too complimentary voice. "While they do inspire awe, they are hardly the important things at the moment. The first is the song of the people."

Kakashi heard it as soon as it was pointed out. People. Lots of them, moving down the bridge. He had an idea of who it was, but he didn't live this long as a ninja without being cautious. He half turned, so he could watch both Orochitama and the oncoming noise. The beating of metal, the stomping of feet, and wood striking the ground grew louder as the people of Wave stepped through the mist, a rhythmic cry keeping them going. The cry was less a song, and more the sound of a people collectively releasing frustration all at once. At the head of the mob stood Tsunami, with a bloodstained apron and a katana held forward to direct the people.

Tazuna looked at his daughter in wonder and fear, as his eyes fixed on the blood stains in her hair and on her hands. Kakashi felt a similar feeling. Tsunami was impressive, and was deserving of awe right then; she was a hero and mother after all. He had apparently made one of his clients defend themselves, and someone almost certainly died. He just hoped the only people to die were Gato's men.

Kakashi did a quick check on his students. Sakura was bleeding. Badly. He'd need to give her medical assistance immediately. Sasuke looked like a deer just as it stumbled on a predator. His fight ended abruptly and with no closure for him and he appeared to be struggling with that. Naruto on the other hand. Well.

"Rah! Lets get him!" The boy shouted, heedless of the needles ticking out his body as he marched in time with everyone else.

Kakashi quickly motioned for his sole female student to come over to him before flopping down onto the ground next to Zabuza. The two of them were exhausted, and Gato's group wouldn't be a threat for long, considering the Sannin and the crossbows that were being leveled by the mob that he was sure had been delivered to them by a mysterious snake themed benefactor.

Zabuza beckoned his own charge over to him.

"Are you hurt?" The Demon of the Mist asked.

"No, Zabuza-sama."

The former Mist ninja sagged in relief.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura shouted as her face went through a look of relief and apprehension over the fact that her teacher was both ignoring the threat still present on the bridge and sitting down next to the man that had been trying to kill them moments before.

"Sakura. Come over here. We need to stop that bleeding." Kakashi slightly pulled the girl to sit down in front of him to allow better access to the wound. The wound was shallow, but wide, blood loss and infection were the only concerns. He handed his student a blood replenishing pill.

"You- you peasants! You think you can take me out! You're just sheep! You can't stand up to-"

"Oh, Gato." Orochitama said. She didn't shout, but her voice was smooth as silk, but sharp as steel and instantly silenced the man. "That's the thing about lambs. When you aren't paying attention, they suddenly become lions."

The bridge echoed with the sound of crossbows clanking into firing position.

Gato grew pale. "P-protect me or you're all fired!" He yelled as he ran back into his crowd of thugs.

Sakura, realizing what was about to happen, looked away.

"No." Kakashi said, as kindly as he could. "Don't look away. This is happening because of our actions. Even good causes are paid for in blood."

At least the girl would learn the lesson from these thugs dying, and not her friends and family. The girl hesitated a moment before following his order. Kakashi caught a brief glimpse of someone jumping into the thugs back line, but he didn't manage to see what it was.

Then a single volley of bolts ended the fight. Well, a single volley of bolts followed by a snake the size of a covered wagon appearing.

The rest of Gatos men quickly gave up and the battle ended as the Free People of Wave captured the former employees of Gato's Shipping Corporation.

In the distance, a flare was launched into the air. Then a second. A third. Again and again until a dozen flares sparkled in the air in the direction of the shore of the mainland.

Kakashi glanced to Zabuza who gave him an inquisitive look back.

If it wasn't Zabuza, then it was Orochitama setting it up? It certainly wouldn't have been Konoha reinforcments, there's no way they'd have arrived yet. Even at best estimates there would be another twelve hours before they arrived.

He turned his questioning gaze to Orochitama.

She smiled in response and said simply, "Gato has twelve docks where he stores all his goods and ships."

Oh.

Oh shit.

Orochitama just became one of the richest people on the continent. She just stole all of Gato's business assets in the span of a few hours. Meaning Orochitama was working with other ninja. He knew she probably had at least a few minions, but the scale of this? That would take hundreds of ninja.

Unless... She was working for someone else? Now that was a terrifying thought. Who could possibly offer the kind of power to get Snake Sannin to work for them?

"Well, that went about as well as could be expected." Orochitama said as she looked around before turning to Zabuza. "So, would you say that your contract is finished and you are available for another one?"

Wait. What? She was trying to hire Zabuza? Now!? What could she possibly need from the Mist Ninja? Zabuza seemed to find her timing about as ridiculous as Kakashi did, as the man looked at her as if she had just grown a second head and put on a pink tutu.

Though when it came to the mad whirlwind of madness Orochitama, Kakashi probably shouldn't be that surprised if that exact scenario happened. Clearly the woman lived to do things for shock value.

"I see you need some time still." The woman chirped, "I'll let you stew on it for a bit. I'm going to help them with the prisoners and take care of Mei."

"Take care of her?" Zabuza asked meaningfully.

"Oh no. Nothing so grim. I'm just going to wake her up, give her a gift, and send her on her away whole and healthy. Well, healthy minus the bruises and aches from our wild time together." The woman said with a saucy wink.

Kakashi shuddered. He could not wait to get that woman out of his life and put this mission behind him.

Awkward silence descended over them. What do you say to the guy who was just trying to kill you? "Hey you were pretty good at almost killing me. Don't do it again." It didn't exactly flow off the tongue. Sakura also sat very still and quiet too. Though that might the pain pills catching up with her now that the adrenaline was gone. Either way, he sat about retying the bandages on his student, this time with some ointments to help healing and avoid infection.

"Is your kid okay?" Kakashi asked mildly.

"Haku is a good tool. He'd inform me if something was wrong."

A frown fell over Kakashi's face like a funeral shroud. Oh his history with that sentiment. It took him forever to realize he didn't actually believe it, but his stubborn desire to stick to it wrote checks that those around him had to cash.

"You know." Kakashi said as he gently slid the bandage into place. "You know how you tell the difference between a tool and a person?"

"Spare me your bleeding heart speech Hatake."

Kakashi ignored him and continued. "When I find my kunai to be undamaged I don't feel relief." The words slapped Zabuza in the face and the man sat up straighter.

"Come on Sakura, lets find you a place to lie down." Kakashi said as he stood.

Sakura stood and followed him. "Oh. I could use the sleep now." She said distantly.

"Me too, Sakura. Me too."  
\----

"And you're sure you didn't give her a double dose of poison?" I asked my little summon.

"Yes. The antidote you gave her should be enough to save her pathetic existence." Azuma responded.

I gave a sigh of relief. Mei needed to be able to become the new Mizukage eventually. The Mist rebels would really need her. She had injured Kidomaru. Hell, she pulled off one of his arms, but I couldn't hold it against her. She was just doing her job. Doing what she thought was right.

She was just doing what the shinobi world had set her up to do.

Mei gave a groan of pain. It seemed she was waking up.

"Welcome back to the land of the living, Mei-chan!"

The woman's eyes shot open and she attempted to stand up, and instead stumbled and fell to the ground.

"I wouldn't do that. Neurotoxin's can be quite troublesome! You should be fine a few days though."

"You! You set me up!" She said drunkenly.

Not the first line I was expecting, but I could deal with it.

"Ara ara. I knew you couldn't resist the appeal of my box." I teased. The box of exploding tags was not an insignificant value; even half full the crate would have been worth tens of millions of ryo. Something a ragtag rebellion wouldn't be able to recoup easily.

Combine that with the looming timetable of having to worry about me running back to kill Zabuza, and she had to make a snap decision. In the end she trusted her senses when they told her there was no trap. Azuma was a sneaky bastard.

Mei glared up at me hatefully. "Why am I still alive?"

"Because we're done. Gato has been taken care of. I've taken all of the companies assets, including forty-five of his fifty ships. I have all of his bank accounts. I've grabbed all his contracts. Zabuza lost his fight. It's over. You have no reason to be here any longer, and I imagine whatever cover you are using to stay here is getting thin, so you would need to be on your way."

"That doesn't explain why I'm alive." She growled again.

"Sure it does. We aren't enemies anymore, and I sympathize with your cause. Yagura is a monster."

Mei continued to glare.

"Such a scary look!" I tut. "It's the truth. Look, I'm even giving you all the remaining exploding tags back."

Mei looked in surprise to the crate she had been leaning against.

"You expect me to believe that you'll just give this to us out of the kindness of your heart?"

I place a hand on my chest. "Mei-chan! Of course I would! In fact I'll go even better. I'll help you take down Yagura when you are ready to move against him."

Mei's entire demeanor changed.

My help against Yagura and his forces greatly enhanced the probability the coup going off successfully. Few things in life were a guarantee but my participation put their chances somewhere close to that.

"And what would you want in exchange?" She asked suspiciously.

"Oh, I've been building this brand new village. A quaint little thing. I would just ask for new and reformed Mist to give us a mutual defense pact." I said, knowing full well such a pact was also a boon for them. Having a Sannin to call in would a great deterrent to anyone looking at a Mist that was fresh out of a civil war.

"How do we know you aren't just going to jump in on Yagura's side?"

I came prepared for just that question.

"I happen to have just acquired quite the windfall! I thought Wave would be a wonderful place to find some business partners!" I pull out a small stack of papers, already turned to one of the pages. "I am turning those assets into a shipping business. I will own one third of the company, a third will be owned by the people of Wave, and a third will be owned by this really misguided but hot-"

"Me!? You're giving me a third of the company?" She stated in shock as she stared at the paper.

"Of course! I feel regular trade with the Land of Water could greatly benefit us both."

Mei slightly poured over the contract, looking for loopholes. It was a damn fine deal, and I was basically just giving her hundreds of millions of ryo.

"I- this is-" She struggled for a bit longer before finally settling on a question. "Why is it called the Pink Canoe?"

"No reason." I say quickly. "You in? This is a limited time offer."

"For now. Yes." She said.

"Wonderful! We'll have to have a girls night and discuss the details! We'll have dinner. A drink. Sexy lingerie. A pillow fight. Overthrow a military dictatorship. It'll be great."

"...Maybe I'm not in." She hesitated.

"Nonsense, Mei-chan. This will be great."

I'll wait till later to tell her that our slogan is going to be "Taking your load."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. I had some depression issues and some job issues that delayed writing. But here it is and I'm pretty happy with it. I wouldn't have had the motivation to finish this chapter without my wonderful patreons! Special thanks to alethiophile, Dillon, and Angelo Fortier for pledging ten dollars or more!
> 
> You all rock and I appreciate you!


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